Page 38 of The Flowers of Bay C
‘I said we could take Barbara to the seaside.’
‘What?’ I say again.
‘You heard me. We could take Barbara, you know, she said it was her last wish or something, right? We could make it come true.’
I stare at her incredulously. ‘I don’t think…’
I look over at Violet and Kat, Kat holding Violet’s hand, listening to her talk and weep about her family.
Jodie shakes her head and leans in closer. ‘Listen. I’ve been thinking. They like us all going for our little walks, getting somefresh air, the doctor is always telling us we should do that, isn’t he? See, Kane has this minibus thing, and the sea’s not far away, right?’
‘Um—’
‘I don’t mean like tomorrow or anything. I mean when we’re all feeling a bit better. Maybe in a few days.’
‘I—’
‘Look, I’ve thought it all through. We could take her in a wheelchair and everything. Only need to have a little sit on the beach, like a few minutes. We’d only be gone about an hour all in if you think about it, if that. They wouldn’t even miss us.’
‘But we can’t do that. Barbara’s not always all there, is she? She’s too frail. And we probably won’t all be here in a few days – people go home, they move us around, you know that.’
Jodie pouts. ‘Don’t be such a Debbie Downer. We’ve been in this long together, haven’t we? Nearly a week? They’ll not move us now until we go home, and none of us are ready for that yet, are we? You’re not going home yet, are you?’
I shake my head. ‘No, I mean, I have another week or so.’
‘Right? And my doctor says to me this morning, you’re not ready for home yet, Jodie, however much you try and convince me you are. My blood levels or something. Though I feel fine.’
‘Yes but… we just can’t. We’d get in trouble.’
‘Why would they know, though?’
‘We don’t have the strength. I don’t think I can drive, on all these meds.’
‘Kane will help us. I already asked him. He’ll do anything for me. There’s this beach, see, just a small one.’
I swallow. ‘I… why don’t we wait, maybe one or two of us come back when we’re better and out of here, take her then? Just as visitors? I could drive.’
Jodie taps her finger against her mouth and gazes at me, her blue eyes more intense than usual. ‘Haven’t you heard thenurses?’ she whispers, her eyes darting from right to left. ‘They keep saying she’s near the end, don’t they?’ Her shoulders slump. ‘We have to help her before she goes. To do this one thing for her. It’s only a little thing, and it’s not like we’re prisoners here, is it? What if we could give her her dying wish? Don’t you want to do that?’
I stare at her then laugh.
‘What’s so funny?’
‘Well, uh…’
‘You think we couldn’t do that? Kane’s a builder, right? He’s super strong. He can help us. And Kat, she’s up for it I reckon. And Violet, well, she’s up herself and all, but she reckons she’d be up for it. I asked her earlier when we was smoking, she was like, don’t be stupid, girl, but then I explained it all and she was like, well maybe, but only if she can just sit in the van ’cause she don’t like sand or seawater. Says to me she’s feeling a whole load better. Amina, I don’t know if she’d want to come, but no harm asking, yeah? Unless she’d sneak to Harris.’
I can’t think of what to say. She must be doing this for a bit of fun, a fairy tale we can all collude in the telling of to pass the time, a dream of better things.
‘Well, I suppose,’ I find myself saying.
Part of me wishes it was a real plan, that we could really do it, that we could really let Barbara feel the salty air on her face and the sand between her toes. I lean back into my pillows and close my eyes, conjuring up the blue sky and the gentle waves.
We could pretend, I suppose.
???
I’m not sure Violet really is feeling better, even though she told Jodie she is. In evening visiting she looks pale, clinging on to Brian’s hand as if she’s drowning and he is her lifebelt. Her frownis more twisted than usual, screwing up her face and pinching her eyebrows together in one straggly line as she glowers over at Amina’s family. Amina’s husband Bilal and three of her four sons are there with her, quiet and gentle as always as they lean in towards her with tender words, faces etched with concern.
