Page 20 of Trust Fall
“Inside there is the breakdown of costs depending on size, and the expected return to both you and to the company. Take your time, read it over more than once, and we’ll meet up again in say, two weeks? That should let you highlight any questions you have, and we’ll see where we are from there. Sound good?” He looked at her hopefully.
“Yeah, sounds great,” Ivy said, a little flatter than she had expected.
“There’s no pressure to do this, Ivy, you know that, right?" Lucas reached out and placed his hand gently on top of the information pack, forcing Ivy to look up at his. “Just because we’ve spoken about it over the years, doesn’t mean you have to go through with this. It won’t change a thing between us if youchoose not to go ahead.” Lucas moved his hand over and placed it on top of hers. “Talk to me.”
“It’s not that, honestly. I just can’t quite believe it’s actually happening. I mean, you know how long I’ve wanted this, how many extra shifts I’ve put in to save for this. And now, it’s finally within reach.” She could feel the tears burning behind her eyes, but she looked down and blinked her eyes furiously in the hope it would keep them at bay. At least until Lucas left. “I knew I could do it, deep down I did, but there was always that bit of doubt. You know. From...” Ivy trailed of, knowing she didn’t need to finish her sentence for her best friend to understand what she wasn’t saying.
Lucas gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “I’msoproud of you Ivy, for all of it. You’ve doneexactlywhat you set out to do. Sure, it may have taken longer than you’d hoped, but that doesn’t matter. You’re here now. About to look into the first official steps of opening and operating your own franchise of Cuppa Comfort.” Ivy could hear the smile on Lucas’s face without looking up to meet his gaze.
“Thanks Lucas, for everything.” She let go of the information pack and placed her other hand on top of his. After a few minutes, she looked up and saw the warm smile of her best friend, not her boss.
“So, we’ll get back together in two weeks once you’ve read through everything, is that ok?” Lucas asked gently, with a smile.
“Sounds perfect.” Ivy said, smiling back. This time she sounded far more like herself.
“Great!” Lucas sat back in his chair and reached into his pocket for his phone after it pinged to announce a message. “Sorry, probably Gabs.” He checked the message, “Yup. OK, I need to head to the market on the way home for pickles and marshmallow fluff.”
“Seriously, with the weird concoctions that woman eats, being pregnant is the only explanation.” Ivy laughed.
“I swear she only does this when I’m with you. Usually it’s bread and milk, or chips and dip. Last time I was with you it was salsa, chocolate spread and bread sticks. Which, I might clarify, were not all eaten at the same time.” Lucas laughed as he got up and started to gather his things.
“Yeah, yeah, that’s what you always say.” Ivy laughed and then took a deep breath. “Oh, before you go, and you have toswearnot to say anything to Gabby about this...” she waited.
“Ivy, we’ve been through this: she’s my wife. No secrets.” Ivy raised her eyebrow at him and he gave in, raising his hands up to her in defeat. “Other than ours, of course, proceed.”
“So, I kind of took a leap of faith this afternoon...”
“Oh? With what?” Lucas stopped and sat back down when he noticed Ivy still in her chair.
“Well... Cleo came back in today, you see, and...” she could feel the butterflies in her belly swoop at the thought, and her leg began to bounce in order to process all her nervous energy.
“...and...?” Lucas said slowly, cautious not to deter her from talking.
“I may have written my name and number on her coffee cup.” Ivy buried her face in her hands. “I’ve never done anything like it before, youknowme, I’m not one for making the first move. Ever. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“You were thinking you really like her.” Lucas said, so matter-of-factly.
Ivy dropped her hands, she could feel herself spiral and needed to flail her hands in order to get through this. “What if she doesn’t call or message though? What if I’m way off base, and she’s not even interested? What if she doesn’t even see it, and I’m left thinking she’s ignoring me, but really, she didn’t even see my number there and just put the cup in the bin?” Shedropped her head on the desk. The thud sounded far louder than she had intended.
“But what if she calls or texts and says yes to a date?” Lucas
“I don’t know what’s worse.” Ivy said from the desk. “I can barely speak in full sentences around her, how would I even cope with a full date?!”
Lucas sat quietly, letting Ivy have a moment, before clearing his throat to get her attention. “Ivy, please look at me.” He waited again, while Ivy slowly sat up, then eventually met his searching gaze. “You’ve spent your entire adult life not feeling worthy of anyone’s time, attention, energy, or affection. None of which is your fault, but allowing it to rule your life, well, that kind of is.” Ivy looked at him in shock and Lucas quickly added, “Just a tiny fraction though.” Lucas sighed softly. “You can grow from itdespitewhat you’ve been through. Let her in, even just a little, and maybe you’ll be surprised. Just give her a chance.”
After a long day, Ivy finally made it through the door of her apartment. Desperate to just collapse on her couch for the remainder of the evening, she fought the urge to do it without getting cleaned up first. She knew herself well enough that once her body hit the cushions, there’d be no moving her until she crawled into bed.
Reluctantly, she made her way to her bedroom, grabbing her comfiest lounge bottoms, vest top, coziest oversize hoody and her glasses, and took the hottest shower her skin could stand to try and remove the smell of coffee from her hair and skin. After spending as many years working with the stuff she figured it was deeply embedded in her pores at this stage.
Making her way to the couch via a quick detour to the kitchen to grab a pasta salad from the fridge that she’d made the night before, she flicked on the TV and settled in to watch her favorite medical drama for the evening.
She’d been waiting all day to watch the next episode. Her favorite character, Alex, who had commitment issues since her mom left her as a kid, was due to decide whether or not she would take a leap and agree to date Eva, the cute and bubbly nightshift nurse. The chemistry between the pair was insane, and fans of the show had been shipping “Evex” ever since the nurse appeared on the show at the end of the previous season. Ivy included.
Ivy felt like she could relate to Alex in a way she wasn’t able to with anyone in her daily life. She understood the difficulty of opening yourself up to someone in a world that wasn’t always the kindest, but knew that living a life in fear of getting hurt was merely existing, not living at all.
Maybe, seeing it work out for Alex, might just give Ivy the confidence she needed to not shy away from the possibility of something working out with Cleo.
Chapter 19
