Page 15 of Trust Fall
Ivy
Ivy watched as Cleo walked down the street and out of view before she turned back around to face the coffee shop. Where she was met with four very smug looking faces.
“Don’t,” Ivy raised her palms up to face them before they could begin.
“Boss, seriously?! How can we not?” Oliver laughed as he got up from the fourth seat at the table where Liz, Margo and Ellawere sitting and made his way over to the counter to start getting the women’s drink orders ready.
“Oh, very easily Oliver. You just don’t talk about that super awkward interaction I just had—most of which I felt like a twelve-year-old boy trying to pluck up the courage to talk to the cute girl at the school dance—and then you keep going with the rest of your day like it never happened. Which isexactlywhat I plan on doing myself.” Ivy made her way along the counter towards the back office.
“Hun?” Ivy stopped at the sound of Margo’s voice—the quietest of the three older women—but didn’t turn around. “For what it’s worth, I got the distinct impression that she possibly came in here for more than just to order a couple of coffees. So, maybe next time just remember to keep breathing and you’ll work through the awkward... together?”
Ivy felt the blush rush up her cheeks and right to the tips of her ears before she replied still without turning. “You really think she did?”
“We all do,” Ella said gently, as if nervous that saying the wrong thing would unsettle Ivy and make her run to the office for the rest of the day. “Maybe you’re as nervous because you’ve built her up in your head for all these years. Nobody can possibly live up to that image. Not even the real her.”
Ivy turned slowly toward the women who were like grandmothers to her. She felt her shoulders drop and her eyebrows furrow in concern. “I just don’t want to put myself out there, only to get rejected. I don’t think I could take that again. Regardless of whether or not it’s by her.” Ivy felt the tears well up in her eyes, but she quickly looked toward the ceiling and blinked them away, refusing to let a single one fall.
“Knowing her name makes her real. Speaking with her makes her real. Then the more real she gets, the more you worry that you're not good enough for her and you talk yourself out of eventrying, to avoid getting hurt. We know you, hun, you’re too hard on yourself,” Ella took a breath before continuing, gently, “as awkward as you think that interaction was, all I saw was two people so drawn to the other that they regressed to their most vulnerable age in life to try and cope with all the emotions they suddenly felt coursing through them. I’m eighty-three, I know these things.” Ella raised an eyebrow at Ivy as if daring her to dispute the fact with her.
“I agree with Ella,” Liz added. “We’ve seen you pine after that woman for three years now, and not a single other woman has caught your eye in that time. Whether she’s the one you’re meant to take the risk and try with, or whether she’s the one you’re meant to spend your life regretting not going after, that’s entirely up to you.”
“Well, when you put it like that...” Oliver piped up from over Ivy’s shoulder as he placed the completed drinks order on a tray to carry over to the women, “I’m with Ella and Liz too. You can’t keep living your life hiding in the shadows, watching her pass you by—literally, like every day—and then get to be sad whenever you eventually see her with someone else. That’s just tormenting yourself over something you have the power to change, but only if you're brave enough to try.”
Ivy watched as Oliver sat the drinks down in front of the respective ladies, and a plate in the center of them with a selection of small cakes.
“I know you’re all probably right,” Ivy began cautiously.
“Probably?” Ella smirked.
"It’s just been a while since I’ve wanted to think about going out with anyone,” Ivy continued. “Nobody’s felt right. After a couple of drinks, it’s clear they’re either too young and only wanting a quick rush of a fling, or too serious and not wanting anything to do with me as soon as they discover my job, or it all just seems too forced and like hard work.” Ivy leaned herback against the counter. “I know reality isn’t a fairytale, I’m not naive, but I just thought that relationships were supposed to at least start off light and fun, then you settle into each other and fall into step, together. Not constantly feeling like you’re chasing the other to keep up or feeling like you’re dragging the other along to stay together. Is that so wrong? Or too far-fetched?” Ivy asked the women.
“Not at all, hun,” Margo said. “I know things were different for us. We moved in similar social circles to those we ended up with, so we knew them a little before deciding to start courting. Nowadays it seems like there’s far more pressure. If you don’t hit it off on the first date, you’re done. Therefore, the first date has an enormous expectation to be perfect, and lavish, and you’re trying too hard from the get-go. I’m glad I missed all of that.” Margo let out a laugh.
“Could you imagine my Michael trying to come up with an idea for a date night these days?” Ella chuckled to her friends. “I’d probably find myself being taught how to play golf, or something equally as terribly boring.”
“Hey, you leave Michael alone,” Ivy chuckled, “the man is a true gent, and you know it!”
“I do,” Ella said gently, “that’s my point, hun. I know it, because we took the risk. Now it’s your turn. Maybe she’ll surprise you and exceed your hopes, but you’ll only find out if you let her, and let yourself.”
“Ella’s right,” Liz added. “Wouldn't you rather take the risk and know you tried, even if you end up with a broken heart, than to let her slip away and end up with a life full of regret? All because you couldn’t trust yourself to take the chance? I don’t know about you, but I’ve lived both those options, and I’d take a broken heart over regret every single time.” Liz looked at Margo and Ella with a knowing small smile. “You just have to decide what option you’re able to live with.”
Ivy looked around at the women’s faces. She knew they were all right, she just didn’t know how she was going to bring herself to take the next step, given it had been sheer chance that caused their first meeting, and now Cleo had chosen to instigate their second. Did she have the guts to put herself out there?
Considering her own past, Ivy didn’t know if her head, or heart, could handle rejection of that magnitude. It would be too much for her to take. But then again, Liz was right, her other option could be far worse than rejection: a lifetime of regret.
She looked at each of the women sat around the table, waiting on her response while looking at her with only love and support. Just they always had.
Taking a deep breath, she exhaled sharply. She knew which choice she had to make.
“Where would I even start?!” Ivy asked, defeated.
“That’s easy, Boss,” Oliver said chimed in. “You work in a coffee shop. Go old school. Write your number on her cup. Then she knows you’re interested, and it’s up to her to make the next move.”
“Oliver makes an excellent point there, Ivy,” Liz says. “You’re putting yourself out there in a way you’re comfortable with, and it’s up to her to make the next move. Plus, you don’t run the risk of being turned down in public, and if she chooses not to call you, then you’ll still have your answer.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Ivy said quietly as she stood up off the counter and headed back through to her office.
Chapter 15
