Page 52 of Heat Haze
Toro’s exasperated little whine isn’t completely lost on me, but his hand is still pumping my cock like it did something to him. He’s affectionately nuzzling against me now, and with one last strangled whimper I feel my climax reach its peak.
There’s this overwhelming heat that washes over me followed by my body immediately melting into his. My boyfriend kisses my neck a whole bunch, and even without words I justknowhe has that big dopey smile on his face.
“Really… really liked that.” His voice is hoarser than it was before, sending a jolt of something down my spine. He softens underneath me, the glimmer in his eyes no longer lustful but lovesick. “Mmh… Nico…”
I’m a complete mess, there’s no other way to say it. My legs feel weaker than they have before, and my head’s spinning with so many thoughts that all revolve around the beautiful man holding me. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to be a normal human. “I did too… It was… special, because it was with you…”
“Special.” He nods before giving one last kiss to the back of my shoulder. “Can’t wait…”
“For what, Tor?”
“To be… papa…”
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
I almost choke on air. “What do you mean? Papa? Toro, what?”
“We… Uh… special,” he uses keywords to string a cohesive thought together. “So… baby?”
“Oh, my god.” He’s so adorable it hurts. “No, Toro, no. That’s not how that works at all.”
“Why?” He whines sadly, scooping me up out of the tub so we don’t have to sit in our mess. He starts drying me off without me even asking. “I thought… Iwant…”
“I’m not a woman, Toro. I don’t care what any nice old lady at the park says.” I tease, taking his hand for a second. With a comforting squeeze I smile at him. “I can’tgetpregnant… Plus we didn’t even do it like that. You’d have to put it inside—”
“Okay,” he nods like I was suggesting that. He retracts his hand, languidly wrapping his arms around me to kiss at the back of my head. “Let’s do it?”
Despite the weak laughter I let out, my heart is melting. It’s nothing new at this point. He’s just like this, always being the sweetest man I’ve ever met. Sometimes I’d get worried in the past, thinking that maybe this wasn’t a good idea, maybe it was bad.
But every now and then I think about just how wrong I was. Not when his nose is buried in my hair and he thinks he’s being sneaky taking huffs of the shampoo we both use like a weirdo. I don’t even have to ask, because I already know he’d say something about how I smell nice or whatever. I love it—I lovehim.
Nobody was supposed to pick me. I thought I was destined to live vicariously through my friends and pretendthat never being wanted was okay. But Toro wants me. Wants me more than anything else, and I feel the same way. Someone like Nadine could never understand, no matter how much I love—or loved—her.
“Nico?” A kiss on my cheek. “You… okay?”
“Just thinking,” I let my head fall against his. “What do you…wantin the future? Do you actually want to be… a dad?”
His grip on me temporarily eases up, and the hyperfocused expression he wears tells me he’s thinkingextrahard about my question. The bathroom feels smaller than it did a minute ago, the silence all too thick.
“Be with you,” Toro mumbles.
There’s something extra tender about the way he says it, wearing a new look that I’ve never seen before. Clumsy digits dig into my face, pulling me in for a kiss. It’s not hungry, but it’s charged withsomething.
Even after all this time my beloved boyfriend still absolutely sucks at kissing. It’s not his fault, though. He’s just a big overexcited puppy who wants to use as much tongue as possible.
“Want…” He huffs when we pull apart, cheeks flushed and hair still damp from the bath. “Want… be with you… Away.”
Did I hear that right? “Away? You mean…?”
“Away,” Toro affirms with another chaste kiss. He leads me back out to his room, grabbing one of his big red sweaters from the closet and throwing it over my head like he’s trying to kidnap me. “Just… want you… Want… happy…”
“I want happy, too.” Just saying it nearly kills me. How can such a big guy be so sweet? How can he just say things like that and not think twice about it? “Sit, Toro.”
He obediently goes and sits on the bed, swaying side to side while watching me rummage through his clothes. Nothing is organized and alotof it is stained with blood. There’s always going to be reminders of the person he was. I know that.
I grab his favorite superhero t-shirt he said he got for Christmas and some underwear for the both of us. Once we’re both dressed Toro retreats to the floor, sitting on his knees while prying open the radio box.
There’s no need to say anything. He knows how to set it up, so I just sit back and watch as he happily fiddles with the stupid machine. He grabs his CD, placing it inside with so much care you’d think it was one of the baby calves.
