Page 53 of Heat Haze
The thing lets out a nasty screech before the music starts, one of Toro’s ridiculously sappy love ballads that I unfortunately know all the lyrics He rejoins me on the bed, grabbing me like a stuffed animal and bringing me to his chest.
“Thank you, Nico.” His voice is low, grip on me tight but not so tight I couldn’t leave if I really wanted to. But why would I? “Love… Love you. So much.”
“I love you too,” the words feel so natural on my tongue now. “I’m happy you’re happy.”
“Always happy… with you.”
“Even when I’m giving the calves more attention than you?”
“...Yeah.”
I giggle, eyes falling shut. We just cuddle. No words, just music and soft touches. His chin sits on my head, gripsecure but not overbearing. He’s learned how to be delicate, even if he doesn’t realize it yet. There’s so much that’s different now. With me, with him, with us. When I look at him now I don’t see that big scary man from before. All I see is Toro, my beautiful boy.
“Maybe… Maybe we should leave, Tor.”
Toro goes completely still, and after a moment of pure silence I force myself to open my eyes and look up at him. He doesn’t look mad or anything, he just looks scared. Terrified at the thought of leaving the only place he’s ever known.
“Nuh…” His voice quivers, sounding so much more unsure than it has before. “C-Can’t… Pa, and… Can’t…”
My forehead finds its way to his chest, cuddling him. “It was just an idea. I won’t force you to do anything, Tor. I think you deserve to be happy, too.Reallyhappy. Maybe it could happen here, but…”
“Want to be,” the words come out in a hushed whisper. “Want… Just… scared.”
The thought of getting away from this place is almost thrilling. So many bad memories lie here like a graveyard, a haunting reminder of what things were. If we got away, it’d be like a fresh start.
“I know. It’s… It’ll be scary, Tor. I don’t have a lot of money on my card. But… maybe we could find somewhere—somewhere just for us.”
There’s a faint smile that flickers on his face, like the idea is actually appealing to him somewhere inside that brain of his. “I… I have…” The sheets rustle when he sits up, hesitantly glancing over at the closet. “Stay.”
I watch as Toro hurries over to his closet, dropping down on his knees to dig in the bag. My brow furrows whenhe comes back with a backpack, some beat up old blue thing. When he sets it down on the bed I have no idea what’s coming next.
But then he unzips it, and I see what’s inside: wallets. Too many wallets. Each of them filled with pieces of ID and credit cards and… money. A lot of money. Enough money to start new.
Enough money to be happy?
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
We’re really doing this. We’re gonna hop on the bus and just get out of here. But first, I need to find Alma. Toro’s fingers are intertwined with mine, sticking very close to me as we walk down the hall to the kitchen.
It feels different. Like the hall goes on forever and the dirty wooden flooring underneath is gonna give out and just swallow us whole. I’m usually a pretty bad liar, but nothing has mattered as much as this has.
“Uh oh,” Damien is the first to notice us enter the kitchen. “Why y’all comin’ out holdin’ hands and shit? Please don’t tell me you’re gonna get married.”
I shake my head, glaring at him. “You lied.”
“About what?” Acting coy is not one of his strong suits. “I ain’t ever told no lie.”
“There was no hitchhiker.”
That cheshire smile only gets wider. “Sure there was. I just mighta stretched the truth about dumbass being there.”
“You shouldn’t—”
“Now, Nico.” Mr. Tavera looks up from the newspaper he’s reading, shaking his head at me. “It ain’t a big deal. Would it have even changed how ya felt about Toro?”
I gulp. “Yes, but… I…”
The older man just hums thoughtfully, turning back down to the paper. “Ain’t no need to make a fuss. Grandpa’s tryin’ to sleep.”
