Page 9 of Heat Haze
There’s this sweet-smelling edge to it, reminiscent of syrup so sugary it makes your teeth rot just thinking about it. With a strained groan I keep moving forward, and my hands make contact with what I think is some kind of closet. The wood is rough against my fingers. My shaky hands find the handle and pull it open.
When I reach inside it’s empty. Okay. Good. This is good. I force my way in, shutting it behind me and curling up against the floor. My back is pressed up against a gritty brick wall, my hands flat on grimy concrete.
I’m shaking so much I swear I could pass out, but that’s not what I’m most worried about. My friends. Where are my friends? Levi… Did he…? I shouldn’t think about that. I don’t want to believe what I saw. I trusted them—I defended these people, these farmers…
All for my friends to be right?
That can’t be. It just can’t. That’s not fair. I did the right thing, I gave them the benefit of the doubt… and in return they’re gonna kill us all? That familiar sick feeling hits my stomach, a devastating tsunami of guilt washing over me, because there’s no denying that I’m the one to blame.
I fucked up. I fucked up so bad.
This is quite literally all my fault. Everyone’s dead. I'm gonna die, too. Even if they don’t find me down here I’ll probably just wither away to nothing. I’d deserve it, too.Fuck.
All I’m thinking about is Nadine. Our last interaction ever would’ve been a stupid fucking fight about something she wasrightabout.
Just when it feels as though things can’t possibly get worse, I hear footsteps.
Loud, slow, heavy footsteps.
Both of my hands are firmly clasped over my face, trying my best to stifle any noise my body desperately wants to make. I’m crying silent tears, trying and failing to keep myself quiet.
Then there’s heavy breathing. Deeper, raspier, and nothing like my own. Getting louder, louder, louder… so loud. A presence right outside the closet door. He knows. Heknows. I want to pretend I could be some final girl type. The type to defend myself and fight for survival. To outsmartwhatever I’m up against anddeserveto live. But I can’t do it.
I can’t do it, because I'm pathetic.
The lights flicker on, and the closet door rips open. I don’t even have the will to find it in myself to scream, eyes squeezed shut as tears follow the curves of my cheeks. My mouth doesn’t even open to beg, my arms covering my face in some pathetic ass attempt at self defense.
But nothing happens. It’s just heavy breathing and the creak of the door.
I wait, and wait, and wait—but still nothing happens. Swallowing my fear, I force my eyes open while my hands fall to my lap. Toro is staring down at me, hair a mess and skin slick with sweat. My attention shifts to his hand. He’s holding something blunt. A meat tenderizer, maybe?
I don’t know. I don’t. I slowly look up to meet his gaze. My eyes are wide, and I keep waiting for him to raise it, to just swing it down against my head and end this. To paint the wall red with my blood. But he doesn’t. He just stares at me, his free hand slowly raising to his lips. His index finger shoots up, the rest of his digits curled down.
Sh.
The closet closes once more, lights shutting off and leaving me in the dark. Each thump of my heart is so loud I swear it’s about to jump out of my chest. I stare at where Toro was, blinking away the tears that just won’t stop coming.
His heavy steps recede as if he never came down in the first place. But he did. Toro came down. He saw me. Is he going to get the others? What’s he going to do?
“Where the fuck did the girl go!?” Mr. Tavera’s muffled voice shouts in the most aggravated tone. It’s sodifferent from the calm and collected persona he displayed during dinner. His southern drawl is more noticeable, and I realize the entire damn thing was just an act. “Don’t fuckin’ tell me you let ‘er get away, Toro! Don’t you fuckin’ tell me that!”
Lucio mentions something about someone ‘jumping out of the window’ and it being too dark. I feel a twisted sense of relief knowing that Nadine might be okay after all. Maybe the others are all okay, too.
“So fuckin’ what!?” He screams, letting out what can only be described as some animalistic growl. “Your brotherswereabledo their fuckin’ jobs! Can’t you man up for once in yer’ life!?”
My head spins at the revelation. Levi, Frank, Grant… Ohgod. They can’t all be dead, but… he just said… and… I let out a heavy breath, shutting my eyes again just to recompose myself.
“Wait a fuckin’ minute…” A rumbling laughter erupts from the Tavera patriarch. His laugh is dark, his mounting anger ringing loud and clear. “The boy got away too, huh? The one you’re fuckin’ sweet on? No—don’t you lie to your father, boy!”
“He is, dad.” Damien chimes in. Even without seeing him I know he’s wearing the biggest smirk on his face. “First time someone ain’t look at ol’ Toro with disgust in their eyes. Can’t really blame the dumbass for it.”
“Someone’s gotta be blamed. That’stwo. You know what happens whentwopeople go cryin’ to the police about what happened here? It ain’t easy for the sheriff to fuckin’ excuse that! Our deal only works when y’all do yer’ damn jobs!”
I can’t really make out the rest, but I also can’t bring myself to focus on it anymore either. So many thoughts are rattling around my head, and none of them are making sense. None of them are exactly inspiring any hope, either. I lean back against the wall, tired eyes staring into the dark.
Whatever was going on upstairs seems to have subsided. It’s just silence now. Alone in my thoughts untilhisfootsteps come back and the coil in my stomach tightens even more. I could probably try and make a move now, but me against Toro… it just is definitely not a fight I’ll ever end up winning.
Anticipation and fear eat away at me as he takes his time getting over to the closet. The lights are on again, and the door opens slower this time. That vacant stare is back on his face, Toro’s eyes piercing through every fiber of my being.
