Page 12 of Heat Haze
This is it. It has to be it.
He begins leaning down and I know I’m in for it now. A quick motion has me swung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, his arm keeping me in an iron grip. Toro might not be saying anything but he’s breathing so hard I know thatsomethingis wrong. I need to fix it. Can I fix it? I can at least try, right?
“Toro…” I croak, stiff as a board in his grasp. “I’m sorry.”
CHAPTER NINE
Toro freezes underneath me, standing there for a moment. It’s too quiet. His breathing mixes with the low whistles of the wind. It’s eerie until he sniffles, which makes me freeze up because I swear I heard that wrong.
He’s crying?
The man clears his throat, picking up the pace as he walks back to his room. He kicks open the door, letting it slam into the wall. A huff leaves him, but after a moment of hesitation he tosses me onto the bed. The door shuts and he’s standing over me, staring down with thinly concealed rage plastered all over his face.
Bright rays of sunshine peer in through the window, highlighting the subtle shine of his tear stained cheeks. I feel bad, and I barely know why. I don’t like whenanyonecries, but seeinghimcry is tugging on my heartstrings. There’s something surprisingly innocent about it all, despite the situation.
“I’m sorry,” I repeat a little more genuinely. “I just… I-I just want to go home, you—?”
Toro jerks forward, letting out a clipped yell that sounds more akin to pain than it does anger. Strong arms shoot out to cage me between him and the mattress. His jaw is clenched tight, head twitching slightly while he just stares at me.
His eyes are blown wide in a way I’ve never seen in anyone before, his grip on the edge of the bed so tight I swear he might snap the thing in two. His teeth are grinding together, huffing and puffing as if he might just snap at any moment.
Just as quickly as the anger came, it vanishes.
When our eyes interlock, the anger almost seems to dissipate completely. He lets out a strained whine, looking at me with such sorrow. His head finds its way to the crook of my neck, nuzzling against me all soft and sweet in spite of the fact he’s someone capable of murder.
I swallow hard, hands that were nervously pinned to my sides slowly raising to hold him. With caution they find their way to his back, rubbing circles around it in an attempt to calm him down. It actually seems to work, because the tension all but leaves his body. He melts into my touch with just a slight err of caution, like he knows he shouldn’t give in so easily.
His grip tightens, clinging to me like he’d lose me if he let go. Given what just happened, I can’t really blame him. With a defeated whimper he pulls his head back, wide eyes staring up at me. At least I think that’s what he’s doing.
A hand moves from his back to his face, delicately pushing the messy strands out of the way just to see him better. Just as I suspected, big brown eyes are still gazing at me with an expression so pitiful that it’s hard to stomach. Toro’s brows are drawn together, a little pout on those chapped lips of his.
“I said I was sorry.” It’s hardly an answer, but it’s the only thing think of. “I just… I don’t understand what you want, I don’t… Why?Whyme? My friends are… and I… I just don’t understand…”
With an unchanging expression he goes back to nuzzling into my stomach. When I first saw him, I thought he was a little scary—this mountain of a man lifting up his grandfather with ease… But here he is, pressed up against me like some kind of mastiff who doesn’t know his own size, and now I don’t know what to think.
It doesn’t feel real. None of this feels real.
He grabs the wrist of the hand I used to fix his bangs and brings it up to his head. Okay,pets. I know this one. I let my hand roam down the curve of his head and back up again. The sigh that he lets out is quiet, and despite the fear coursing through my veins I let myself try and ease up a little.
Toro isn’t going to hurt me. I just tried to escape, and he isn’t going to try and hurt me. Butwhy? That one word just keeps playing over and over in my head, because I can’t think of any reason.
Because I was nice? All I did was the bare minimum. Does that really warrant… this? His family seems hard on him, but have they really never beenniceto him? That seems too hard to believe, but nothing about this situation really makes sense, so maybe that idea shouldn’t be thrown out entirely.
Toro leans back, chin tilting up to look at me again. His lips curve upwards, shifting to a kneeling position while reaching behind me to grab something. I hear the bed sheets rustling behind me, and when his hand returns it’s holding the novel from earlier. With both hands on the thing, he thrusts it towards me.
“I don’t… I don’t really want to read that right now,” I mumble honestly. His face falls before he pulls it away and clutches it against his chest. He stands up and my heart drops for all but five seconds, since he just moves to sit on the bed.
His strong arms pull me up onto his lap, leaving me pressed up against his chest as his chin rests against the top of my head. He holds the book out again, pulling it open to the first page. He wordlessly points at it, nuzzling his cheek against me. I can hear his heartbeat, slow and steady unlikemy own. It’s almost comforting in a way I can’t really understand.
For a moment I swear my heart flutters, but I push that all down as I glance down at the book and then back up at him. “Are you… you want me to read it to you?” I think that’s what he wants, I just can’t tell.
Toro nods, seemingly pleased I was able to understand him. A cautious hand squeezes me just a little tighter. He wants me to read to him. Okay. He wanted pets, and now he wants me to read this romance book.
That’s fine.
I clear my throat, trying to keep my nerves in check while scanning the page. “C-Chapter one…” My voice starts off as a whisper, growing into its normal volume as I keep talking. “Across the ocean blue stood a lighthouse, towering over the dreary town…”
He leans in to rest his chin on my shoulder, softly breathing in my ear while I continue to read the story. My heart is racing and I’m not even sure why. Despite how tight his hold is, it’s not all that uncomfortable.
