Page 15 of Little Deer
“If all else fails and you’re not comfortable breastfeeding him and he won’t take anything else, you can try some canned milk, or some store rehydration supplements, though I encourage you to try everything else first. No water,” she adds firmly.
I nod. “I’m hoping I can get him to take the formula and then I’ll hopefully be alright to breastfeed him from there.”
“Good. Otherwise, he’s a healthy baby and he’ll be back to normal soon. For yourself, I’m going to let them know that I want to come back in a few days to recheck you to make sure you’re still doing well. At that time, we’ll make plans for next steps, including long term birth control if you require it. The shot they gave you at the hospital is good for now.”
Rori snickers, drawing our attention. She waves her hand. “Sorry, it’s a common discussion around here with so many couples and all the sex happening. I told Sofia once that I should double up on mine because I don’t want to get pregnant by just being adjacent to all this love bullshit.”
I smile slightly. “Seeing even just a few of the men around here, I can see why.”
Dr. Foster nods. “Trust me, there’s not many good looking ones out there in this life, but I’ve never had any trouble appreciating the view when I am here, though my time has been limited.”
Jumping in bed with one of the mafia men around here is a hard no. Joey has been gone for almost a year now, but I have no interest in being with any other men. Especially not with Soren. He needs my full attention.
Dr. Foster cleans up her things and heads out, leaving me with Kida, Rori, and Sofia. I almost expect Massimo to come barging in, but no one opens the door again. “I’ll make up the bottle,” Kida says, taking the formula Dr. Foster left and one of the bottles into the bathroom after handing me back Soren.
“I’ve already sent out some men to grab you anything you might need,” Sofia says after a moment, a soft smile on her face. “And I’ve asked for a bottle warmer, along with a breast pump in case you want to pump and save anything.”
“Thank you,” I say awkwardly, rocking my son, who is already starting to get fussy again.
“Alright, now that the men aren’t here fucking things up, now’s your chance to ask the questions,” Rori says briskly, crawling to the bottom of the bed and sits cross-legged facing me. Hades gives a low whine, and she waves her hand, making him jump up on the bed and lay beside her, his head in her lap, looking up at her lovingly.
Sofia chuckles and sits on the other side of her, reaching over to give Hades a quick pat before looking at me. “Consider this the quiet before the storm, darling,” she tells me. “When Gia, Sienna, and Amara find out you’re here, they’re going to want to meet you and it’s going to be a whirlwind. On top of that, you’re going to be meeting all the men around here as well. It’s a lot, and after everything you’ve been through in the last little while, I imagine you have a lot of questions. So now’s your chance to do it.”
“My mind is still reeling from everything I’ve been told in the last couple hours,” I admit, suddenly feeling bone-deep tired. How the hell am I supposed to think all this through?
The mafia? Good parts versus bad parts? New family members? War and violence? It’s all too much to comprehend and I feel like I’m in a terrible dream. Except, my biggest fear is that it’s one I’m never going to wake up from. Is this really my new reality? Is this my son’s new reality? What will this mean for him?
“She’s going to get in her own head and spiral,” Kida suddenly calls from the other room. “So I’ll ask and then we’ll see how far we get. What the fuck is going on? Why is all of this happening after so many years? I mean, hello, they put her up for adoption, so obviously they didn’t want her around.”
“That’s not what Massimo said,” I remind her, but she is right, I’m not great at asking questions. I get too involved in thesmall details to ask the big picture questions. This, though, I can at least speak on. “He said that I was snuck out and that they didn’t know about my existence.”
“You’re telling me that you believe that?” Kida demands incredulously, moving back to stand in the bathroom doorway.
“Why would he lie about that? And based on what those guys all said when they had me, they said I looked like, what’s her name? Gia?” Sofia and Rori both nod. “Yeah, and they sounded disappointed about it, but why would they if they already knew what I looked like? And if they knew I was alive before now, they would have found me before now.”
“They’re mafia, and they have access to networks that regular people don’t,” Kida reasons. “How the hell did they get four girls out without someone noticing? I mean, that’s nearly impossible. Aren’t people like that guarded? And wouldn’t they have checked the doctor and nurses at the hospital before they left? It’s all too convenient and elaborate a story to be believable. And, let’s be real Luce, you’re gullible and want to believe everything you hear.”
I glare at her. Sure, a lot of that is true, but she’s not the one who was kidnapped and held for thirty-six hours. I was out of it, but I still heard things. “They were planning on selling me, Kida,” I remind her tightly. “And the man who says he’s my father told me that I look just like his wife. That I was a reminder of her and I would finally be useful. A man who knows about me and knows what I look like isn’t going to say any of that.” I look back at Sofia and Rori. “Is this whole story true? Or is Kida right and Massimo was just saying shit to get me to cooperate?”
“Everything he told you is true,” Sofia assures me. “And while, yes, it sounds like some kind of weird movie or book, it’s the first time I’ve ever heard of such an elaborate plan that’s been hidden for so long. I’ve grown up around this kind of thing my entire year, and I’ve never seen or heard of something likethis. Sure, people have tried to get out of this life for one reason or another, but for two women to sneak out children, right under their husbands and families’ noses is unheard of.”
“What I don’t understand is if we were snuck out, how did they figure out about us?” I ask. I barely glance at Kida as she finally brings me out the bottle, handing it to me. I bring it to Soren’s mouth and he happily latches on, sucking greedily.
“We’re still figuring that out, but we do know that your mother and aunt both wrote journals that they hid somewhere in their homes,” Rori explains. “It was actually Massimo’s men that found out about you and the others first and brought it to everyone' s attention, but then things kind of broke apart in your family and in that shuffle they figured out about you and the other girls. So it’s been a bit of a race to find you all before they could take you.” She gives me a gentle smile. “And this time, we got really lucky.”
“Again, how the hell does stuff like this happen?” Kida grumbles, sitting beside me on the bed. “My biggest question right now is if Lucy was able to be hidden for so many years, why can’t you do it again? I mean, give her and Soren new names, do some cosmetic surgery and she and Soren can disappear and live their lives.”
She has a point.
Sofia shakes her head. “It’s not that simple. These things never stay quiet. Especially not in a digital world. When your mother was sneaking you and Sienna out, there was no digital paper trail. The only paper trail was buried, people bought off to hide you. Now, nothing is untraceable to the people with the power and money. Could we hide you for a few years? Possibly. And with how good my brothers and the Carusos are, they might be able to do it for much longer, but eventually someone is going to talk, someone is going to make a mistake and out who and where you are. Whether you like it or not, you are the daughterof a mafia don, and that comes with connections and power that men will do anything to have. Especially ones who want to get back at your father, or even by extension, Nico and our family.”
“But I don’t know anything about the mafia,” I protest, wincing when Soren makes an angry grunting sound at the loudness of my voice. “So why would they care?” I ask quieter.
“Power,” Rori answers simply. “That’s the one thing men all over the world crave. Especially those that feel it’s been taken from them, or they’ve just got it and are holding it by the fingertips. And unfortunately, since the dawn of time, women have always been collateral in that need. Marriage, servitude, heirs, all of it is something they feel they have the right to use us for. It’s bullshit, of course, but when you have that many of them, it’s not the easiest to make them see reason.”
“And the mafia is not part of the current century,” Sofia adds drily. “Womens’ rights? They pay it no mind. Especially people like your family. Gia suffered for years, and it’s only now that she’s starting to be herself. Not saying that Nico is going to be any better in some cases, but Gia grew up in this lifestyle, so she’s not used to anything else. You, Sienna, and Amara have all had a normal life, so none of this is going to be easy for you to accept or understand, but if you had to land in this life, this is the best possible place for you to be. It might not feel like it now, but here, you have a voice, you have choices, limited though they may feel at the moment, and you are safe. Your son is safe.”
Does she expect me to fall at her feet and thank her? Sure, she’s right, I’ve now been on both sides of the options in the last forty-eight hours, but that doesn't mean I’m okay with any of it.
