Page 61 of Little Deer
“I prefer to think of it as persuasive.” I give her a charming smile. “You know, this is probably the first time a woman has ever argued with me in bed.”
Her eyes narrow. “You’re seriously wanting to talk to me about some kind of relationship you think we should have, and then mentioning other women being in bed with you?”
Shit. Okay, definitely, not the smartest thing to say.
“Okay, we’re getting off topic here. We were going to talk about you being upset in the salon.”
“I wasn’t upset about anything then, but I definitely am now.” She lifts the receiving blanket and peeks under it. She manages to ease Soren out and hands him to me. “Which means you get to burp him. And you’re not getting the blanket until I’m decent, so if he spits up all over your expensive clothes, you’ll have to deal with it.”
If she thinks that being pissy with me is going to irritate me, she’s sorely mistaken. Instead, I take Soren and ease him into a sitting position, holding his tiny head in my grip and patting hisback. I turn my head to watch her, and I get a quick flash of bare skin, her bra sliding back into place, before I turn my gaze back to Soren. “Your mama thinks that I’ll be upset if you get anything on my clothes,” I tell him conversationally as I hear him give a small little grunt. “Little does she know I don’t give a damn about any of it, so you go right ahead. And she also thinks she’s going to distract me from the conversation she’s trying to avoid.”
When I turn my head, she’s glaring at me again. “Don’t try to bring my son into this. He’s not going to be on your side anyway.”
“You think so? Us men, we stick together, don’t we,ometto? What is it that you Americans call it? Ah, yes, the Bro Code.”
“You are not teaching him that bullshit,” she snaps.
My mind zeroes in on the fact that she’s speaking about the future. Whether or not she believes it, she’s already accepting the fact that we’re meant together. I can work with this. Soren is going to be my son, and I’ll ensure to teach him everything that he needs to know. Including how to calm down his upset mama.
“Then I suggest you start talking so we can work through whatever it is that was upsetting you in my lap downstairs,” I point out smoothly. Soren lets out a very loud burp and I grin. “Good job,ometto. I bet that feels much better, yes?”
Lucy lets out a low groan and hands me the receiving blanket. I carefully clean up some of the spit up that dribbles down his chin. “Give him to me so I can put him to sleep.”
“He’s fine where he is.” I adjust myself back against the headboard, easing Soren down on my chest. He lets out a loud grunt and his little hands gripping my shirt tight and his head lifting slightly to stare up at me before lying back down and stretching out his tiny legs. “See?”
She looks conflicted, but doesn’t try to take him. If she really wanted him back, I wouldn’t fight her, but there is something comforting sitting here, the baby getting comfortable on mychest, and watching her. There’s nowhere for her to hide, or anything to distract her. And from the slight panicked look in her eyes, I’d say she knows it.
“I need to…I’ll be right back.” She rushes off the bed and into the bathroom.
Patience. Patience is key, and I have a wealth of it. While I wait, I gently stroke Soren’s back, and murmur, “Your mama is going to be stubborn,ometto. Perhaps she thinks that if she tells me the truth that she will scare me away. Good thing I don’t scare easily, yes? And soon, she is going to realize that the two of you are mine. That there is nothing that will make me walk away from either of you.” The words leaving my mouth seem to fully cement them in my head.
Lucy and Soren are going to be mine. I want them, and I’m going to have them.
Hmm, is this how my brother feels about Sienna? I thought perhaps he was being a bit heavy-handed with her in the beginning, but I’m starting to understand just what pushed him.
I’m also starting to see why Alonzo is having such a hard time with Rori. Is this what desire is supposed to feel like? Or this craving? The kind that you’re not sure you want but also at the same time, it feels so fucking right that any possibility of it not working out the way you want is both terrifying and infuriating?
The bathroom door opens, and Lucy emerges, a determined look on her face. She’s splashed some water on her face if the drops clinging to her lashes are anything to go by. I bite back a grin. Giving herself a pep talk? Her eyes connect with mine, and a small flash of doubt quickly comes and goes before she says calmly, “Massimo, you’re right, we need to talk. I think that the kiss earlier was a mistake. I’m not in the position right now to do anything with anyone, and with everything going on, you need to focus on stopping this stupid war so Soren and I can get back to our lives. This pull we feel for each other, it’s not real. I think weboth know that. It’s a high-stress situation; you rescued me, and I feel a connection to you from that. We’re mistaking chemistry for adrenaline.”
I don’t answer her, just watch her. Her chin lifts, her eyes never leaving mine, but I can sense her nerves. The jitteriness that she’s trying hard to hide.
My bravecerbiatta. But also so very wrong.
“And the reason you feel this?” I finally ask when the silence stretches thickly.
“I’ve had time to think.”
“And what changed your mind?” She hesitates. “Come,cerbiatta,tell me the truth.”
“Look, I…I realized downstairs that you and I are completely opposite, Massimo, and we’re not going to work. I want a quiet life. One that doesn’t involve getting shot at or possibly kidnapped. You’re from Sicily, so it’s not like it can go anywhere. My life is here, my family is here.” She hesitates and finally finishes, “And I don’t want my son to grow up learning that violence and being a criminal is the life for him.”
Her eyes lower like she’s expecting me to get upset. Or like I’m going to yell. Is that because of who I am, or because that is the way her fuckwad ex treated and conditioned her?
Some of her words do sting, but she’s not wrong. I am a criminal. I’m never going to be anything else. She will have to accept that part of me, the part that will never go away. It’s in my blood, and I am very good at my job. She probably won’t appreciate me telling her that, but it’s a fact nonetheless.
I also don’t want to have this discussion with Soren between us. I ease myself up, placing Soren gently into his bassinet. He lets out a small cry of annoyance, but his full belly is clearly winning out, because his eyes drift shut almost as quickly. I turn back to Lucy, who is watching me cautiously.
She’ll learn quickly that she has nothing to fear from me. I will never hurt her.
