Page 71 of Little Deer
“I wanted to finish the journal. I just couldn’t seem to put it down.”
He frowns. “Don’t exhaust yourself over someone like her, Lucy,” he lightly scolds. “I don’t want you to be so tired you make yourself sick.”
“I stay up late reading all the time. Hell, there were times I wouldn’t sleep from reading all night and going into work the next day on no sleep. With Soren, I’m just used to little sleep.” Wait, why am I defending myself? I don’t care what he thinks we are; I don’t need to justify myself to him. I narrow my eyes. “And don’t think you’re going to tell me what I can and can’t do,Massimo. A few kisses and a discussion doesn’t mean you get to dictate what I do.”
His eyes flash, but they cool almost as quickly. The air around us changes. In front of me isn’t the easy-going man I’ve become used to. This is the man who could very easily bend me to his will if he chose, with just a few words and the right tone in his voice. Will he? Will he break his promise to me so easily?
“I’m not trying to dictate anything,” he tells me calmly, tone even, even though his eyes say differently. “I’m simply saying that if you don’t get enough sleep, you’re going to run yourself ragged. You have a little boy that you’re also trying to feed and take care of, and while the rest of us are happy to help, you’re doing the majority of it.”
I arch a brow. Yeah, right. The bratty side of me starts to rear its head, and I can’t stop the words that pour out next. “That wasn’t what you were going to say. I thought you said no lying, Massimo.”
Shit. Even to my ears, the words sound taunting. Like waving a red flag at a bull. The same way I used to do to Joey when I wanted to push him and piss him off.
Yeah, I must be fucking tired, because I would normally never let that part of me show, even to Massimo. That woman is supposed to be gone. Dead. Buried.
The look in his eyes turns dark, foreboding, but his expression never changes. “You think I’m lying,cerbiatta?” There’s no anger or censure in his tone? Just a smooth question, but there’s that hint of danger underneath it.
Why am I pushing him on this? What the hell is wrong with me?
“Maybe not lying,” I backpedal. “Half truths.” There, better. And I’m careful to watch my tone this time.
His head cocks slightly, watching me carefully. Gauging. Like a predator watching his prey, trying to decide if he’s going to chase it down or let it run free for now.
Finally, he says, “You’re right, I wasn’t going to tell you everything I was thinking. Would you like to know what I was going to say, Lucy? Hmmm? The full truth?”
Oh, God. What have I done?
Still, I find myself nodding, mesmerized by his eyes and the heat of his body still flush against mine.
He leans forward, eyes holding mine as he grips my chin firmly, holding my head in place. My heart pounds hard and fast in my chest, my entire body coming alive and reacting to the intimacy of the position, at the look in his eyes. The man looking back at me isn’t the easy-going Massimo. This is a man who’s about to shatter any semblance of what I’ve known and remind me of just what I’ve been missing, what I’ve craved for a long time.
“What I wanted to say,cerbiatta, was that I fully expect you never to exhaust yourself. Do you know why? Because I never allow a woman of mine to wear herself out unless it’s when she’s being a brat and needs to be brought back in line and reminded that she’s not in charge. And do you know how I do that,dolcezza? I’ll show you exactly what it feels like to be exhausted.
“I’ll make you come so many times that you’re going to be begging me to stop. Then, I’m going to fuck you and make you come again a few more times before I finally stop and give you a break. Then, when I get my second wind, I’ll start all over again. By the time the morning comes, you’ll be so exhausted you won’t know how you’re going to get through the day. And you’ll feel me inside you the entire time. And if you dared to try to do it again, I’d tie your ass to the bed and do it all over again night after night until you learn your lesson. That, Lucy, is what I was going tosay.” His lips pull up into a predatory smile. “But you wouldn’t want to push me to that, would you?”
A shudder of need runs through me. The images racing through my head are fucking hot. Hotter than any fantasy I’ve ever thought of before, or what Joey and I practiced. He was far too interested in always being obeyed, and his punishment was denying me an orgasm. At first, it was hot, and I came harder than ever when I finally got to come, but this is so much more.
“Mmmm, someone likes that threat,” Massimo purrs. He leans forward, nipping at my lower lip lightly. The sting only increases my desire, and I barely manage not to whimper. “Is that what you like to do, Lucy? Be a brat until your man puts you back in your place? Takes control away from you?”
His voice is pure seduction, and I’m helpless to resist. My nipples harden between us, and my blood feels hot and heavy in my veins. “I-I-I…” I can’t seem to stammer much else out, my tongue thick and the words stuck.
“I think that’s exactly what you need, isn’t it,mia cerbiatta? You crave that submission. The need to give in and hand over the reins to someone else.”
Yes. That’s exactly it, but I’m too dazed to actually to confirm that. Do I even want to? A small voice in the back of my head cautions me not to give him too much. To hold something back. To remember the last time a man learned these things about me and used them against me.
“I don’t know if I’m ready to give that yet,” I finally rasp out. My voice husky, strained, as I stare at him. My brain cheers my answer, but my heart is screaming at me to give in. To tell the full truth.
No. Not yet. This is too much. It’s too soon.
Massimo’s expression changes, softens, and I tremble as I watch him. Not out of fear, but from pure relief. He has to feel it. Instead of getting angry with me, he brushes his lips lightly once,then twice, over mine and murmurs, “My bravecerbiatta. I will never take what you’re not willing to give me. Ever. Your honesty is all I need.” One more brush of his lips and then he eases back, and sets me onto the floor.
My knees are jelly, making me grip his arms to keep from falling. “I don’t know if I can ever give you that part of me, Massimo,” I whisper, the truth painful. Like another part of me has to be hidden away.
He cups the side of my face. “I will never ask you to give me more than you’re willing to, Lucy. Submission if not freely given isn’t true submission. Perhaps in time, when you trust me more, we can get to that point, but I won’t expect it.” His stare is full of sincerity. “I am not a selfish boy,dolcezza. My own desires are not more important than the comfort, trust, and safety that my partner feels in and out of bed. In time, you will see that. You’re not ready for that, I won’t push it. For now, we focus on getting to know each other.”
“I don’t know if I can give you what you want in a relationship, Massimo. Maybe a fling while we’re here?—”
“No.” It’s a statement. Firm. “A fling is cheap to us both, Lucy. I’m willing to wait and see how things progress, but there is nothing temporary about us. I know this, and you know it.”
