Page 97 of Little Deer
I hate to disappoint her that this could go on for weeks more depending on how everything plays out, so I just shrug. “Better to have it in case he decides to be different and needs it sooner.”
“I guess.” We lapse into a comfortable silence, the only sound being Soren getting his fill. I turn on my side, facing them, realizing how content I feel. I’ve never considered that I would ever find someone that would make me feel this way, and that I would fall for someone who has a child. A child that already feels like mine. Somewhere up above someone is laughing their ass off at me.
Hell, I’ll thank them.
I look at Lucy, who is smiling softly at Soren, stroking his cheek with her finger, utterly content. A part of me feels smug that she’s here with me, but another part of me is awestruck that we’re at this point.
“How are you feeling,cerbiatta?” I ask her.
She flushes slightly when her eyes lift to connect with mine, but she doesn’t lose her smile. “I’m alright, Massimo. I’m starting to feel a bit sore though. The bath helped, but since I didn’t get to stay in it very long, it didn’t really help relax everything.”
I watch her carefully, making sure that she’s not trying to downplay it, but she seems relaxed, content. I relax. I scoot forward a bit more, leaning my head forward to press a kiss to her lips, needing the connection. “When he’s done feeding, leave him with me to burp and you can go for another longer soak,” I murmur when I pull away.
She shakes her head. “I’m too tired.” She gives me a teasing smile. “I have to work to build up my stamina to keep up with you.”
I smirk. “Cerbiatta, any more and you’ll kill me. But we’ll wait for a little longer before we try anything again to give your body time to heal and adjust.”
She reaches out to cup the side of my face and hold me in place before I can ease back. I still; watching, waiting. Her eyes search mine, a hint of nerves brimming, and her throat bobbing as she swallows hard. Whatever she’s thinking feels big, important.
Finally, she whispers, “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, Massimo, and it scares me how much I’m drawn to you. How safe you make me feel. How much I want you. It shouldn’t be like this so soon, right? This is just the honeymoon phase and that other shoe is going to drop?”
Her words are like punches straight to the gut. Heavy, hard, but also the very things that I’ve wondered about myself. Instead of answering right away, I sit up, dislodging her hand, and carefully wrap my arms around her and Soren. Soren lets out a grunt of annoyance, but doesn’t stop eating, making my lips twitch. When I look back at Lucy, her expression is completely vulnerable, but eyes are so bright and trusting.
“If there is anyone out of the two of us that doesn’t know how they deserve someone, it is me to you, Lucy. A man like me, you don’t expect happiness, or any kind of goodness in your life. I was content to be surrounded by my family. Now, I can’t imagine being happy knowing that you exist and aren’t with me. Knowing that you’re mine, that you were always meant to be.”
“Even if I ended up with Joey first?”
“I despise that he put you through so much pain, Lucy, but it also made it so that I can show you what a real man should treat you like. That I can give you everything he can’t and he can rot in hell seeing you with me and seeing you thrive.”
Her lips twitch. “I don’t think it’s right for me to think of my former husband in hell.”
“Maybe not, but that is where he has ended up for treating you the way he did.” I gently cup the back of Soren’s head. “Fornot wanting a child he helped create. And it paves the way for me to step into the shoes he didn’t deserve to fill.”
Her eyes dampen. “I don’t know how to make you understand just how much that means to me, Massimo. I honestly never thought I would ever be interested in a man again. I was content to live my life as a single mother and maybe think about it again when he was grown and off at college or something. I mean, most men now don’t want a woman with kids.”
“And they’re fools.”
She gives a watery laugh. “Maybe, but it’s a fact that not as many men out there are as accepting as you.” Then she gives me a teasing smirk. “And, you know, you being hot, tattooed, rich, and every book girl’s dream definitely doesn’t hurt.”
Any other time, with any other woman, warning bells would be going off in my head, but not with her. Instead, I laugh and kiss her quickly again, nipping her lower lip. “Are you just with me now to fulfill all your dirty fantasies,cerbiatta? I’ve heard the girls mention how the books they read are downright dirty and fictional men can do things so much better than real life. I think you’re just trying to give me a challenge.”
The wetness in her eyes is gone as she grins at me wickedly. “There are few real men that can live up to them, but I’m sure if you give it your best shot you might get really close to doing better than them.”
A thrill shoots down my spine at the challenge. “I look forward to it,” I growl, moving my mouth to nip at her lower jaw. She lets out a small gasp, then gives me a heated stare. “Finish feeding our son,cerbiatta, and then we’re going to sleep. You’ll need all the sleep you can get over the next few days for what I’m going to be planning for you.”
Her eyes burn. “Stop teasing me,” she chastises lightly, but her lips twitch. Her expression turns serious. “I’m falling for you, Massimo, and it scares the shit out of me.”
“I’ve already fallen,cerbiatta. I’ll be here to catch you when you eventually do, and then we’ll figure it all out together.”
I bite backa groan as Soren’s angry cries fill the room, pulling me sharply from the deep sleep I was enjoying. The one that included dreaming of all the things that I’m planning to do with Lucy the minute she gives me the green light. I lift my head, looking down at her in the dark, realizing that I’ve pulled her into my arms, curled around her with her back to my front, and her gripping the arm tightly that I’ve wedged between her breasts and up to rest at the base of her neck.
Feels fucking perfect. This is what I want to wake up to every day for the rest of my life.
Soren lets out another angry scream, and Lucy starts to stir. “I’ve got him,” I rasp into her ear, easing away, and climbing out of the bed. I make my way over to the bassinet in the dark, lifting Soren out and into my arms. “Shhh,ometto, I have you,” I murmur, rocking him. He continues to cry. “Let’s not wake your mama, yes? We can figure this out.” I check his diaper and the smell hits me first. “Alright, time to get you changed then.” I carry him into the bathroom, turning on the light and shutting the door quickly behind me so I don’t wake Lucy.
She’s exhausted, and I have a feeling that Soren will have us up again soon enough to eat.
Soren cries the entire time I change him, but finally they end on whimpers when he’s cleaned, redressed, and back in my arms, rocking and whispering nonsense. He looks up at me, likehe’s seeing that it’s me holding him for the first time and he’s not sure if he’s happy about it or not.
