Page 59 of Little Deer
I try to figure out a way to get off his lap without him realizing that it’s due to what I’m thinking, butthankfully Sofia suddenly calls, “Massimo, Lazaro, get in here and help us move this desk.”
I ease off Massimo’s lap onto the arm of the sofa, trying to get my thoughts under control. I don’t need Massimo figuring out what I’m thinking. Not yet, anyway. I need to sort through my thoughts first. Massimo gets to his feet, but turns back to me, eyes assessing just enough that I know I wasn’t quick enough to hide my thoughts.
Shit.
Massimo looks like he wants to say something, but instead, he turns and heads for the office. I sigh softly. Great, now he’s going to be upset with me. I probably shouldn’t let that bother me, but it does.
“I’m stumped,” Sienna proclaims, sinking onto the couch beside me, startling me. I blink at her. “This entire business of secrets and deception is a pain in the ass. And I really don’t like trying to think like a criminal. Especially not ones as fucked up as these ones.” She picks up the journal still on the couch. “Anything interesting?”
I slide down, tucking my legs under me. “Just that she was bitter about her life, but also that she really didn’t want any of us. Other than maybe Gia, but that was selfish.”
“This is before or after what happened with Gia’s twin?”
“Ah, I haven’t gotten to that part. I’m assuming something bad?”
Sienna nods, her lips pinching. “Look, I know that she birthed me, but I’ll never forgive her for what she wrote. How she purposely kept hurting Gia as some sort of punishment.”
“What did she do? What happened?”
Sienna hesitates. “I’m not sure if I should tell you or let you read it.”
“Tell me. Let me know what to expect.”
She runs it all down for me. How Gia didn’t know she was a twin, but also that her twin died, and her family blamed her. Horror fills me. How could someone treat an innocent child like that? Over a tragic accident? Sienna nods when she finishes. “Yeah, she wasn’t a good woman. None of that family are. I feel bad that Gia suffered so much under their hands, but I’m not sorry that she’s dead. She let them keep hurting Gia as some kind of punishment, and she blamed Gia. It’s just one fucked up situation.”
I feel sick. Poor Gia. Clearly our biological family are evil.
I look at Soren. “I could never imagine being angry at my son for something that happened like that. From the sounds of things the birth happened at home, so it’s not like they were in a hospital where they could have prevented it or at least detected it early.”
“Even if they had, the boy probably would have been severely disabled, and I doubt that would have been tolerated either, son or not.” The bitterness in her tone is sharp.
Yeah, I’m getting that feeling too. It’s so messed up.
“Alright, well, I know what to expect then. I’ll still read it, because maybe there’s something there, but I really was hoping to find a redeeming quality about her.”
“Is it weird that I don’t care about her? I mean, I have a mom, and even if we’re not blood related, she’s the only one that matters to me.”
“I feel the same way. I thought I would feel some sort of connection to her or at least maybe miss her, but it’s just…nothing. Well, other than pity and anger, but I think that’s more for the situation. It’s like reading a book and being upset at the characters for doing something stupid.”
Sienna nods, understanding. “Gia told me that for a long time she missed her mother, though not because of a close bond, but for what could have been. Gia was young when she died, andthen her father eventually remarried and she got kicked out of the house. Probably a blessing considering Carmen.”
“Carmen is Leonardo’s third wife?”
Sienna nods. “We’re pretty sure that Carmen was sleeping with Marco, our eldest brother and the one that is also trying to take over and grab us along the way.”
“I’m going to need a diagram to keep up with all these connections and who is working with whom.”
Sienna laughs. “Yeah, I’ll tell Amara to do that. She’s good with that kind of stuff. The main names to remember right now are Leonardo, Giovanni, and Marco. It’s always one of those three that’s involved in whatever’s going on.”
Soren starts to rouse, a small cry in his lips. “I’m going to take him up to the room to change and feed him,” I tell Sienna. I hold up the journal. “And I’ll take this up too and read it while he’s eating. Maybe I’ll find something else.”
Sienna nods. “Alright. Don’t go without one of the guards. After something like the attack happens, they want to make sure that no one else tries to sneak in while everyone is cleaning up and regrouping. They can take the bassinet up for you too.”
I wonder if I should tell Massimo where I’m going but push that out of my head. I don’t answer to him, and some time apart is a good idea.
It takes a few minutes to get Soren up and into the sling with how fussy he is, but thankfully Sienna has one of the guards, Tino, help me close up the bassinet and carry it out and up to the room. I want to apologize as Soren’s cries get louder and angrier, but I say nothing.
Why am I apologizing? Babies cry. If he doesn’t like it, too bad for him.
