Page 34 of A Little Christmas! Johnny
Irreplaceable.
That’s so much more important than being special.
“You’re irreplaceable to me, too, Daddy,” I whisper. “I’m pretty sure I love you, too. But since I don’t exactly know what it feels like, I can’t say for sure. What I know for absolutely one hundred fifty percent no doubt in my bones is that I need you more than candy canes, more than blankies, even more than Legos. Now that I know what life is like with you in it, I can’t possibly go back to the way it was before.”
Dexter tightens his arms around me and we relax into the quiet evening. As soon as I take out the DVD forA Year Without a Santa Clause, the buzzer goes off for the washer. Dexter jumps up from the couch and says he will swap the load and grab us some cocoas for the next movie. While he’s in the basement, I decide our next movie with beA Claymation Christmas. I’ve never seen it before, but Russ told me that Daddy would always complain about the fact that it was the only Christmas special from his childhood that he could never seem to find. I somehow found it from a second hand distributor in Oregon and had it overnighted just to surprise him.
I hit play and giggle at the hijinks of the dinosaur announcers and all of the crazy characters made out of clay opening up the beginning of the show. I’d never seen anything like this before. I knew about stop motion animation, but this is a whole nother level. Okay, this might just overtakeRudolphfor my favorite movie...
“Baby Boy, is there something you forgot to show Daddy earlier?”
I turn around on the couch to see Dexter in the archway to the kitchen, holding up the giant jingle bell butt plug. The twinkling rainbow lights are reflecting off the almost too shiny surface of the plug. I had only rinsed it off and was going to do a full clean with the toy cleaner when Daddy went back to work the day after tomorrow. But what is it doing here?
Oh...
Daddy grabbed the towels to throw in with the sheets.
Oh... Oh, no.
“Johnny?” Daddy asks with a warning tone.
“Merry Christmas?” I squeak out before he pounces on me over the top of the couch. Lucky for us, Daddy keeps some condoms in the end table drawer. We can watch the movie again later.
30
DEXTER
I wish I could have taken my boy to the New Year’s Eve party at the Devil’s Club, but he put his foot down. Since the guys at the shop banded together to give the bosses the two days off for Christmas, Johnny insisted that he would be the one working on New Year’s Eve. It’s not as bad as it could have been, though. The shop is a lot more comfortable now that the door has been fixed and the Paul situation is cleared up.
I watch the screen on the computer light up with line after line of dispatch requests as we get closer to midnight. Tonight, Johnny is on dispatch while Steve is running the flatbed. A few of the guys will come on to pick up the drunk tows for the Safe Ride program that the Wrenshaw Police run every year. They coordinate with the local cab drivers and even some of the rideshare platforms to provide safe rides home in exchange for charitable donations. Those calls are the ones that can wait, but I can tell my boy is tense watching each line come through. He jumps at every phone call.
“What is it, Baby?” I ask, holding him closer on my lap.
He shrugs but continues building with his Legos on the desk. I won’t push, but I do want to know. After a few minutes of silence, another ping from the computer makes him flinch.
“It always happens,” he finally mutters. “Some idiot drives drunk and causes a wreck.”
I nod because it’s unfortunately true. There’s always some dumbass that thinks he’s fine to drive after having a few at a party.
“I don’t want to get that call, not with you here,” he whispers, and I feel something wet hit the back of my hand. Leaning over to look at his face, I see the tear tracks on his cheeks and the glassy look in his eyes.
It takes a minute to put together why my being here would be problematic for him. When it actually comes to me, I feel like the most cherished idiot in the world. Of course, he would think about that. Yeah, it’s been six years since a drunken idiot took away the people who were my entire world. But my world isn’t so bare and lonely anymore. Now, I have him.
Brushing my thumb across his cheeks, I wipe the tears away.
“Yeah, there are going to be people like me who have to face a whole new world because of one selfish asshole too cheap or too stubborn to call for a rideshare. That is unfortunately part of life. You have no control over what other people do.”
I hold him close and watch while he lets my words sink in. I’m not going to sugar coat it or say that it’s okay that people drive drunk, but he doesn’t need to be beating himself up over other people’s actions. It took me far too long to come to terms with that myself after my parents’ accident. My boy doesn’t need that eating away at him, too.
The computer dings with another request under the Safe Ride program and I chuckle at the address. That is the fifth request for the club and it’s not even midnight yet. The Devil’s Club doesn’t typically allow alcohol, but a few times a year theywill have BYOB nights. New Year’s Eve is one such night with the stipulation that all alcohol is to stay in the main bar area and anyone who is drinking is not allowed to go back to the rooms.
This year, they have negotiated the Safe Ride system exclusively with Good Boys Tinkering and Towing thanks to me introducing Johnny to the club a few days ago. My friends, especially the Littles, loved meeting him and welcomed him with open arms. Everyone seems genuinely happy for their Uncle Dex to finally have his forever boy.
And I do intend to make it to forever with Johnny. He is the Christmas miracle I never knew I needed.
“Looks like Uncle Jay is going to be busy tonight,” Johnny giggles as another two requests for the club come through. “I guess it’s a good thing he hasn’t found a Little of his own yet or else they would be mad that their Daddy has to work tonight.”
I tickle my boy’s sides to get another giggle out of him before we settle in to watch the countdown on the television.
