Page 35 of A Little Christmas! Johnny
Ten.
Nine.
Eight.
Seven.
Six.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
“Happy New Year, Johnny,” I whisper before kissing the hell out of my boy. “Here’s to the first best year of our lives.”
My boy gulps in air when we separate a few minutes later. My chuckle is purely involuntary as I watch him wiggle in my lap, trying to not touch himself to relieve the prominent tent situation he’s got going on in his pants. We briefly talked aboutthe possibility of trying out chastity devices but decided that’s something for a bit further down the road – like Valentine’s Day.
“I love you, Daddy,” he mumbles and gives me a quick peck on the cheek before running to the bathroom. My chuckles turn to a full on belly laugh when Jackson sulks into the shop. The man looks like someone who just got shot down on a night that desperation runs high.
“Happy New Year, Jackson,” I call out only to get a wave of his middle finger in response. Yeah, he was shot down.
My boy jumps back in my lap after handing a folder to Jackson for him to start making his runs. The deal with the Safe Ride tows is that the vehicles get towed to the home address and then the person has the option of paying for the tow or making a donation for at least half the amount of the tow to the local LGBTQIA charity. The folder has envelopes for the donations with tracking numbers so that the shop can submit tickets for failure to pay if someone tries to skimp out. I figure that with the fifty percent discount, even the grinchiest bigots will donate rather than pay for the tow, but that’s how my boy operates. He would rather save kids than make money.
Jackson mumbles something on his way back out that has my boy shaking his head and rolling his eyes. We can worry about him later, though. My boy needs to get back to his magical Lego creation. After the third time his thumb starts to sneak towards his mouth, I pull out his favorite binkie from my coat pocket. I smile when he doesn’t even hesitate to use it in the shop. I’m so proud of my boy.
31
JOHNNY
Pulling up at my sister’s house to drop off Peanut after getting the text that their flight landed, I can’t help but laugh. Pete is on his knees begging both the mothers of his children for something. Jared is throwing suitcases into the back of his Ford Explorer. My parents are yelling at Erica while she is screaming something at her husband. And through all of this, I see the kids in the front window – with popcorn. The little ones look a bit worried, but Jess and Jamie are both enraptured like this is an episode of Jerry Springer – not that either of them really would get that reference. Hell, the only reason I do is because the neighbor lady who used to watch me when I was sick as a kid would have it on the TV and she would make me chant with her.
The slam from my truck door closing seems to be a signal for them all to turn on me instead of each other. As per usual, I am always the one in the wrong even when it was their own fucking fault that they are in the situations they are. One of these days, I will grow enough of a spine to finally stop showing up.
“John Joseph Gander! How dare you call the police on your only sister!”
My mother is the first to jump at the opportunity to use me as a scapegoat, but it doesn’t take long for them all to be piling it on. I do my best to ignore them while I open the passenger door for Peanut to hop down. The first thing he does is run over to where Pete is kneeling and lift his leg. I can feel my face burning from how red I must be, trying to hold back the laughter. Pete maybe should have chosen to kneel somewhere other than in front of Peanut’s favorite bush.
Suddenly, I’m not only the asshole who called the cops on his own flesh and blood, but I’m also the horrible person that trains dogs to piss on people. Part of me wishes I actually had that ability – and that Peanut had a bigger bladder. None of them would escape the pee zone.
“Where the hell are my dogs?” the boys’ mother screams at me while her heels sink in the slush and mud that remain in the yard from the brief snow that came down over the last few days.
“Exactly where I said they’d be,” I tell her calmly and make my way to the door, ignoring the rest of the cacophony – thank you Steve for the word of the day calendar – to embrace my niblings. “They are at the vet office and they will let you know how much it was to keep them for the past three weeks.”
She screeches and throws one of her shoes at me as soon as she gets inside. I expected as much, so it wasn’t much to swat it out of the way. I would have ducked, but the kids are behind me. I can handle a twelve dollar knockoff from Payless if it hits me, but Suzy would get hurt by it.
“Like I have the money for that! That’s the whole reasonyouwere supposed to watch them!”
Shaking my head, I snatch a handful of popcorn out of the bowl in Jamie’s hands. This is the family I was given. They can find the money for a three week cruise in the Bahamas, but can’t find the money for someone to take care of their dogs whilethey’re gone. I bet they’ll even complain about not being able to pay their rent or bills next.
“How am I supposed to pay my rent if I have to pay that vet, huh? Do you want my boys to be homeless?”
Bingo! Daddy will be so proud of me for calling that one. Now, I just have to do it like we practiced. I can stand up to them now. Nothing I do will ever get them to love me or respect me, so it’s time to draw that line in the sand and fill it with concrete.
