Page 22 of A Little Christmas! Johnny
Facing him, I’m at least happy to see that he’s not as sad looking as before. I turn my back completely to the fun stuff in the room to give him my full attention. No more distractions... even though I noticed that Russel has the full set of Paw Patrol action figures and the Adventure Bay playset.
“I’m gonna get this out quickly and then you can ask your questions.”
He laughs when my head starts turning back toward the toys, so I snap my head back to him and sit up straight. Full attention. I can do this – even without my hands being busy.
“Age play is one of the softer kinks in BDSM,” Dexter tells me and suddenly I don’t need to fidget. Say what now? I’m notinto whips and the only chains I deal with are to lift engines and transmissions or lift the cars with my truck.
“Based on your look, you have a serious misconception on BDSM and kink in general, but we will get to that later. Age play has people generally divided into to categories: caregivers and the ones they care for. The Caregivers are generally considered to be Mommies and Daddies, although some choose to be Big Brother or Big Sisters. A lot of caregivers who are unattached can also go by Uncle or Aunt or Auntie so as not to create confusion or disrespect.”
“That’s why Russel calls you Uncle Dex?” I mumble while trying to take in everything he’s saying.
He nods and pushes my hair behind my right ear. Okay so he’s saying he is one of these caregivers in this BDSM kinky thing and that Russel must be a part of it too. I can see it. Dexter seems to want to take care of people a lot. Even his job is a way to take care of people, even though most of them suck this time of the year and should really be on a naughty list somewhere.
“That’s very smart of you to put that together so quickly, Johnny. Good job.”
Oh fuck. There's that warm and fuzzy squiggly feeling again.
“Remind me later to explain praise kink, but I want to get through this first,” Dexter says with a smirk. “So yes, I’m what is commonly referred to as a Daddy Dom. Russel is what is referred to as a Little which is one of the designations of those that are cared for in age play. There are also Middles, Princes and Princesses, and a whole litany of other titles that can be used. It’s not a one size fits all thing.”
My mind is reeling. The only thing I can think is that he’s telling me that age play is essentially grown ups getting to play pretend while their partners take care of them. But that can’t be right. I mean, it’s not like Russel was pretending to be someoneelse last night. He was Russ, but like he would be if he was a little kid...
Ohhhh. Little... I think I get it now. Maybe.
“Littles tend to like things more geared towards younger kids and they’ll sometimes even regress mentally to thinking and acting that age when they get the opportunity to play. They call it Little Space and it’s a way to mentally escape the demands of adult life for a while. Some will even regress further or want to be of an age before potty training which is where the Adult Baby and Diaper Lovers people come in, but I don’t think that’s you. It’s definitely not Russ. Russ tends to hit Little Space when he’s worried about something and acts like a pre-schooler. He told me that he was worried that he screwed things up with you last night and that’s why he went Little.”
“But I’m not that important for him to worry about,” I mumble softly. Dexter still heard me though.
“You are absolutely important, Johnny. Especially to me.”
18
DEXTER
I still don’t understand how this boy doesn’t see his own value. The guys at his shop, minus the jag who was arrested yesterday, all love him. His nibling loves him so much. Hell, even Russ loves him already and that man would spite a granny baking him cookies if she wore the wrong color shoes on a Sunday.
“Why are you even telling me all of this?” he asks, pulling me out of my thoughts of dismembering his family for ever making him feel lesser.
“Because I like you, Johnny.”
I watch the blush creep up his neck and have to refrain from kissing the tips of his now scarlet ears. My boy absolutely has a praise kink.
“But you said you’re a Daddy,” he pouts adorably and I lean in to peck him on the lips. As much as I would love our first kiss to be passionate and lead to some exhausting cardio, right now, I want the focus to be on our connection. The rest can come later.
“And you, my boy, are a Little. You just needed to find people who let you be yourself freely.”
Johnny springs to his feet and starts pacing. I know he needs to come to terms with it on his own. I know this. In my hasteand sleep deprived mind, I went too fast. I shouldn’t have just blurted it out like that. Now he’s going to disappear on me and hate me and...
“It makes sense... I think.”
Looking over to where he stopped pacing, it takes me a second to notice what he’s looking at. Russ is the type of Little that likes a little bit of everything, so his room has the full range of toys from tiaras to Hot Wheels. Johnny is staring at Legos in the tub on the shelf.
“I like the feeling of building with these,” he says while lifting up a handful of the bricks to let them fall through his fingers back into the container. “Like, I like how I feel peaceful inside when I create things with them.”
He turns back to look at me and I know it’s the fully grown up Johnny that I’m dealing with while he comes to terms with everything he’s rediscovering about himself. There’s something about the juxtaposition of the grown man in the childish pajamas reflecting on the joy of just being able to play that pulls at my heart strings. He walks over to the decal on the wall next to the Paw Patrol play set and I see a tear slide down his cheek.
Why is he crying? I stand up from the bed, but he holds a hand out to stop my approach.
“I thought it was wrong to like things like this,” he whispers while brushing his fingertips over the cartoon dog. “I hid it away because I knew people would see it like Paul does. What kind of grown man watches kids shows and plays with pre-school toys? That’s what they always say. Add in that I’m gay and suddenly they think I’m trying to do something to little boys.”
