Page 5 of A Little Christmas! Johnny
My mind is whirring with all of the crazy possibilities of what could be and what I should do next when I pull into the driveway of my half of the duplex that I share with Russ. It takes me a minute to remember that I need to help my neighbor get inside and put him to bed. Over the last few years, we’ve been there for each other in ways that others might not appreciate. When he’s Little, he can sometimes suffer night terrors if his bedtime routine isn’t followed – basically if he doesn’t get tucked in. His ex used it as a punishment, knowing it would cause him pain and prolong his anxiety by not staying over to comfort him when he would inevitably wake up screaming.
The routine with Russ is methodical tonight. My mind is still on John, wondering if he needs someone to tuck him in as well.
“I like him too,” Russ whispers as he snuggles his teddy bear tighter to his chest. “He had cool Legos in his truck.”
Legos?
Could I have found a Little who doesn’t realize he’s a Little yet?
Or is he a Daddy that would be more interested in Russ than in me?
“You should call him, Uncle Dex,” Russ yawns and turns on his side. “He likes you. I can tell. Berry thinks so, too.”
I ruffle his hair and switch on the nightlight before turning off the overhead light on my way out of the bedroom. Letting myself out of his home, I walk the ten feet over to my own door and empty my pockets as soon as I’m inside. Glancing at the card, I let out a soft laugh.
“If Berry the bear thinks I should, I guess I will.”
Placing my boots on the shoe mat by the door, I head into the kitchen for that beer I missed out on earlier. Monday can’t come soon enough.
5
JOHNNY
The call to get that rolling easter egg on Thursday night really threw me out of sorts, though. The car itself is basically not worth the amount of money repairing it would cost, so unless it has sentimental value for the couple, there’s no point in me doing anything else with it until they call. It would need a new engine, a transmission rebuild, and a new radiator because whatever happened with those pistons managed to crack it. Then, there’s the damn computer that would need a full reprogram to accommodate all of the new components. Frankly, they’re better off getting a whole other car.
I’m under said pastel colored block of scrap metal when I hear Steve call for me from the direction of his office. I roll out and grab a rag from my cubby before heading upstairs. Above the shop are four distinct rooms. There are the two offices that Steve and I each use, the file room, and a bathroom with a standing shower. I kind of added a futon in my office under the guise of having somewhere comfortable for the guys to sit if they needed to come in to talk to me. Normally, I am more careful when it comes to hiding the fact that I’ve been sleeping above theshop, but when I see Steve standing in the doorway of my office holding my blanket, I know I fucked up.
“Tell me you aren’t sleeping here, J.”
I can hear the disappointment in his voice and it guts me the same way it did when it came from his father. My shoulders hunch forward, and I snatch the blanket out of his hands. I know it’s not exactly normal for a grown man to have a blanket covered in Pokémon characters, and I don’t want the other guys to see it. Everyone talks about Pikachu like he’s the only cool Pokémon, but they’re wrong. Charizard is so much cooler. Pikachu was such a dick to Ash in the beginning that I can’t really forgive him despite the movie ripping my heart out.
“What happened to your place?” Steve asks, closing the door behind him while I hurry to hide away the rest of the evidence that I’ve been squatting in my office.
Sighing heavily, I flop down on the futon as soon as I push it back into the upright position. I hate this. I hate disappointing the people who matter to me. The list has shrunk a lot over the last few years, but the guys at the shop – especially Steve and father, Mike – are like a whole nother family. And disappointing my family hurts the worst even though I should be used to it by now.
“Roger the landlord sold the house out from under me without even telling the buyers that there was a tenant.” I don’t hold back the slight whine in my voice and run my fingers through my hair. It’s horribly unruly on the best of days, but since I’ve been trying to grow it out a bit, it doesn’t seem to realize that hair is not meant to go in twenty-seven gazillion directions.
“What about the house you’re fixing up?” he asks, handing me a mug of my own hot chocolate as soon as the coffee maker finishes spitting out the contents of the pod. I stretch to grab a candy cane from the corner of my desk before leaning back intomy seat. Staring at the ceiling, I let the candy start to melt in my drink before answering him.
“If I had any idea Roger was looking to sell the rental, I wouldn’t have gutted the whole house in September. Right now, there’s no heat and only basic electrical. The water is shut off for the winter because I can’t reliably heat the place to prevent pipes from freezing.”
Steve hums before taking a sip of coffee that he just stole from me. I never know if he’s doing it to piss me off or if the fact that his dad provided the shittiest coffee on the planet in the downstairs break room is the driving force for him raiding my flavored coffee stash every day. Some of the guys in the shop surprisingly prefer the sludge Mike bought, so we haven’t changed it up yet.
“Look, J,” he sighs. “I get it. And I would totally offer you a couch to crash on if my better half wasn’t hopped up on hormones right now.”
I meet his eyes and see the indecision radiating out of them.
“I get it,” I tell him with a wave of my hand before pulling the candy cane out of my drink. It’s almost at the stabby point where I should bite the end off. “Once I’m through the holidays and can actually get in to look at some places, I’ll be out of here. It’s only for a few weeks.”
Steve fidgets before taking a seat next to me on the futon. I don’t like the look on his face. Sure enough, the next words out of his mouth make me regret coming clean with him.
“Thing is, you can’t do that, J. This building is zoned only for commercial use, and someone has already complained. A few of the guys have noticed that you’re always here unless you’re on a call or visiting your sister’s family. You don’t leave for more than a handful of hours – definitely not enough time to sleep, eat, shower, and have a life outside of this building.”
The guys complained about me? I thought they liked me...
“I can cover you for another week, but if the shop gets reported I’ll have to execute the buyout clause Dad put in. I love you like a brother, John, but I won’t let you destroy my family business because you can’t figure out how to prioritize your life outside of work.”
As my friend pulls the door closed when he leaves my office, I fall to the side and bury my face in my blanket. I don’t even care about the spilled chocolate on the floor. I just want to disappear into a pillow fort and not think for a few years. Not even Charizard could warm up the cold feeling that settled inside my chest at the thought of being homeless for Christmas. Only the sound of my phone ringing on the desk pulls me out of the pity party I’m having.
