Page 31 of Kiss of Death
“You can only do it once, and it can never be reversed.”
Now I understood the source of his sadness. Time wouldn’t move an inch for him…but a mile for his brother.
“I haven’t seen him in six months, but he’s already aged. It’s subtle, a hint in the corners of his eyes and his mouth, but it’sthere. My life will remain stagnant in time, and he’ll pass away in what feels like a second to me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“His wife wants to have children and join her family in the Realm of Caelum. If he wanted to be with her, he didn’t have a choice.”
“Do you think he made the right choice?”
His eyes never left the fire. “I would say no, except I’ve seen him without her. He tried to move forward with his life, but the misery somehow aged him anyway. I think a part of him will always regret the sacrifice, but he’ll never regret marrying his wife.”
My eyes dropped as I listened.
“Larisa wanted children as well, but she and Kingsnake didn’t want to sacrifice their immortality. I’ll have them and my brother Cobra and his wife, but I’ll always mourn the brother I assumed I would have forever. So every time I see him, it feels like a goodbye, because when I see him again, it’ll be a different version of him, an older version.”
“Yeah.”
After a long stare at the fire, he turned to look at me. “Which is why you and your family are so lucky to have those dragons. The fuse grants you immortality, but because the magic is pure, you’re able to continue to have children.”
“And as a vampire, you can’t?”
He shook his head. “No.”
“Does that disappoint you?”
He looked into my eyes and didn’t flinch at the deeply personal question. “It used to bother me a long time ago. But I’ve learned that family can be defined by many other things. Larisa is not my blood, but she definitely feels like it. Would I give up my immortality for the opportunity to have children? I can’t see that happening.” He turned to look at the fire again. “When we were together, you said you were ambivalent about children. That you’ve never had that urge to be a mother. But with this guy, it sounds like you’ve had a drastic change of heart.” He didn’t actually ask anything, but the question still pressed against me.
“I can’t really explain it. I’m not interested in having kids right now and I still can’t picture myself being a mom, but when I’m with him, I just have these images flash across my mind of him holding our baby in the crook of his arm. Never felt that way before.”
He continued to stare at the fire.
Picturing Callum holding our child in a rocking chair nearly made me cry.
“And you do realize that’s not possible, right?” he asked quietly, like he didn’t want to provoke me with too much intensity. “With me, it is possible.” He turned away from the fire and looked at me. Stared at me with an intensity he hadn’t shown in a week because he always kept to himself in his tent.
“You said you wouldn’t give up your immortality to have children.”
“With you, I wouldn’t have to. I could fuse with one of your dragons—if they would accept me.”
My eyes immediately flicked away.
“And we could both have everything we’ve ever wanted.”
I continued to avoid his eyes, guilty for even allowing this conversation to continue.
He must have felt my discomfort because he withdrew his stare. I could feel it leave the side of my face. “I overstepped. I apologize.”
I turned my attention to the fire.
“If things don’t work out the way you want…I hope that you’ll consider me.”
8
LILY
In the morning, we retrieved the platinum from the blacksmith, a large block wrapped in cloth and then enclosed in a box carved out of marble to make sure it wasn’t damaged on the journey back. Protected inside its own pack, it would be attached to Zehemoth’s saddle.
