Page 62 of Kiss of Death
“If I open the two realms, you know what will happen. Bahamut was killed because of it. This time, it could be me. Or it could be everyone. Or it could be the Realm of Caelum. Nothing is off-limits.”
I stared at her, all of this still feeling like a dream.
“I will do it for her—but only with your consent.”
I swallowed, forcing my mind to process what she said instead of taking in everything around me, wishing Lily were the one who stood before me.
“Because I remember what you said before, that you would never want her to risk her life for yours.”
I gave a slight nod in understanding. There was nothing I wouldn’t give to go back in time and change things, to make different decisions. But I couldn’t undo what had already been done. And even if Lily successfully saved me with no casualties, she wouldn’t want me after I told her the truth. I definitely wasn’t worth the risk—not to her, not to her family, not to herdragons. “You don’t have my consent. I made my choices, and I accept the consequences of those decisions.”
She gave no reaction to my words, either because she was putting on a show for Leviathan behind me…or because she was always this diplomatic.
“I love Lily Rothschild with everything that’s left of my soul, but she needs to let me go.” It hurt me to say the rest, but I forced the words out of my mouth. “I want her to move on. I want her to find love. I want her to marry and experience the unbridled joy of parenthood…that I still miss every day. I want her to be happy. What we had was real and true, but it was just a moment in time. We need to appreciate it for what it was…cherish it…and keep it as a memory. Please tell her that. Perhaps it’ll help her move on.”
Her expression didn’t change. She hadn’t blinked once since I’d parted my lips to speak. “You’re a soul that belongs in my realm, not this one.”
“I stand by my choices.” And regretted them wholeheartedly.
She moved closer to me, and with palms that glowed the color of gold, she cupped my cheeks. “It hurts to leave you here. To suffer for all eternity as punishment for the good you’ve done for others.”
I closed my eyes, feeling warmth, light, and joy at the magic of her touch. I basked in the glow, feeling like a seedling that quickly grew into a mighty redwood, passing through a lifetime of seasons and time in a split second.
“It hurts to leave such a beautiful soul behind…what’s left of it.”
I kept my eyes closed, clinging to her warmth, holding on to the last burst of joy I would ever know.
And then it was savagely ripped from me, the darkness back before I even opened my eyes, the stale and dank air corroding my lungs with the first breath I took. My eyes opened, and I was back to eternal night, a darkness so thick and rich it felt solid, ominous, ever-present.
Leviathan shoved me in the shoulder. “Back to work.”
I stumbled slightly before I reclaimed my gait, looking at the dark outline of the castle in the light from the torches, the place that would be home…until I had the strength to let go.
16
TALON
Calista sat across from me at the dining table, staring at me head on with a mixture of concern, empathy, and annoyance. She hadn’t said much in the last hour, but the way she looked at me made it clear she was sharing a silent speech.
When a man told me being a father wasn’t hard, I knew he was a shitty dad. They were the type of dad who wasn’t around, leaving all the child-rearing to their wife. Their life didn’t change at all when they became a parent.
But being a father had never been as hard as it was now.
Nothing in my life had prepared me for this moment. There was no book in the library that discussed what to do when your daughter fell in love with an evil god and asked you to save him from purgatory.
Calista continued to stare at me.
“Stop looking at me like that.”
She sat back in the chair and glanced away, crossing her arms over her chest. “Alright.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.” She continued to look elsewhere. “It’s okay. I’m so glad that you’re alive that I don’t care about your temper.”
I didn’t wear a shirt often anymore because the platinum was smooth to the touch but clung to fabric like glue. The material got stuck, and then Calista had to tug it off, which caused pain I wasn’t in the mood to tolerate.
I was disappointed this would be a part of my life from now on, but I should just be grateful to be alive.
