Page 52 of Lonely
I scoffed, shifting gears as we drove down the country road with barren fields on each side.
“Sarah Jenners was no innocent Mother Mary. She fucked Chris O’Connor next door. That’s why they moved. Did you know that? I saw her through the window, and let me tell you, she liked what Chris did to her.”
Mother seethed and drilled bullets into the side of my face, but my thoughts were already far away.
I pictured Carter in bed, staring vacantly out the window, his hair messy as though he had run his fingers through it. I wondered what he was thinking now that he was lucid enough to string sentences together. Had he lost hope? Was he as washed out as his surroundings yet?
“I’m not marrying Esther,” I told Mother, my words final.
I was filling out paper forms by the nurse’s desk in the common area when I felt him behind me. The hairs at the back of my neck stood on end, and my pen paused on the signature line.
He was close enough for his breath to hit my ear. “Are you avoiding me, asshole?” His voice rolled over me like a warm summer breeze.
“I take it that you feel better.” I signed the dotted line and glanced at the nurse behind the counter. She smiled and lingered with her eyes on me, the way women did when they pictured you naked.
No one had looked at me before Anna.
Hyperaware of the shadow behind me, I ignored her. Carter smelled like broken dreams and danger. I wanted to take him back to my office and do bad things to him.
“It’s been days.” He reached around and snatched the pen from my fingers. He clicked it, inching closer to my back. “Days of you walking through here, watching me watching you.”
A bead of sweat formed at my temple as I shivered.
“You like it, don’t you? My eyes on you.”
I collected the files and turned around, using them as a shield. Carter met my gaze, and those emerald-shadowed eyes made me weak at the knees.
“I want to ram my cock down your throat,” I admitted, aware of the other patients. I kept my voice low. “It’s all I can fucking think about.”
He tsked while waiting for a nurse to walk by. When he checked her out, I ground my teeth. He looked at me again and dipped his amused gaze to my lips. “What do I get in return?”
“What do you want?” I gritted out, falling silent when a nurse handed me another folder. I stacked it with the rest. At this rate, I was ready to give Carter almost anything if I got to feel his mouth on me again.
“I think you know what I want,” he responded, making a show of wetting his lips like a fucking slut who needed a hard slap across the face for teasing me.
I felt my pulse spike and looked around. Carter wanted me to get him out of here. He knew I had the means and power to do it. He wanted his freedom.
“I can’t just let you walk free. You’re a murderer,” I whisper-hissed.
“So are you,” he responded as I stared at his alluring lips.
Fuck . . . Why did he have to be so tempting?
“I get to fuck your mouth first. Let me fuck it again, and I’ll make it happen.”
He chuckled in a voice that was deep and husky from disuse.
“Nah,” he said, darting his tongue out to wet his bottom lip. Then he stepped away, palming his growing bulge. “If you want it, you know what to do.”
As he walked away, I growled.
Who the fuck did he think he was? And why the fuck did I want it so much? I could just take him, but I didn’t . . . I didn’t want to.
His submission was the currency. I needed to pay up, or I would never earn it.
“Damn it,” I muttered, slamming the files on the counter.
Later that afternoon, after my last patient had returned to his room, I placed my glasses on the desk. A headache was the last thing I needed.
