Page 111 of Steeling Her
“And you didn’t even listen to her when she told you it’s not like that between us! You fucking hurt her, Haley, you really hurt her. You know she’s shy and always in her shell, for you to have said that you hoped the sex was worth your friendship ending really annoyed me but completely demeaned her. That was wrong, Haley, and you know it.”
“She stayed the night with you!” I yell back.
“So? You stayed with TJ! Have you guys fucked?” I hesitate and he knows it.
“On second thoughts, don’t you even answer that. I sure as hell do not need to know!” He shudders and the thought of me and TJ sleeping together. We have, and it was amazing. I’m trying not to think about it because this isn’t the time to be talking or thinking about TJ’s amazing technique. “You really hurt her Haley,” he tells me softly like he’s wearing her emotions. I hadn’t realized how badly I distressed her.
I was just so angry with the two of them. Seeing her straddling my brothers lap and kissing him really pushed all the word vomit I know inside of me out through my mouth.
“You know how sensitive she is, she’s been through enough, and you slut shaming her didn’t help one bit! Danielle even agrees with me.” I know she does, she tried to talk to me about it a few times but I always just walked away from her and to TJ. “You keep saying that ‘It’s not like that between us’ when you talk about you and TJ, well it’s the same for me and Carter. I like her, I really fucking like her, Haley, so much that she’s driving me insane because she’s constantly in my head twenty-four seven and I can’t get her out . . .” He slumps back into the seat and stares up at the ceiling like he’s trying to figure out something. I know one thing for sure right now: he’s thinking about her.
“I thought I was used by her to get to you—” I stutter out.
“You know that’s not even remotely true, you know she’s not that type of person, but I know that’s your defense mechanism with the girls I messed around with. But you’re forgetting that she has that same mechanism with her brothers. She knows what you were thinking and she understood why you acted the way you did because she has been through the exact same thing too, except with two older brothers and not one.
“She gets it, she’s so understanding and forgiving that it blows my mind whenever I spoke bad about the way you reacted, she would defend it. She defended you, Haley, when she didn’t have to.
“She values your friendship. She told me that she was amazed at how easy you find it to talk to people, she was amazed that you even considered her a friend, she was so amazed that you liked her enough to call her your friend without knowing who her family is, or thinking she’s super weird and walking away once you’ve gotten what you wanted from her.
“She gets why you’re reacting like this, and I truly respect that about her, because I would’ve given you a piece of my mind if I was her.” He exhales loudly.
That entire speech shuts me up, and I start to feel bad about what I’ve said. I knew I wasn’t nice to her, but I felt like it all needed to be said in order to get my disapproval across.
“There’s something about her. I can’t put my finger on it, but there’s something about her that makes me want to always be around her. It’s like this force is pulling me to her . . .” I know exactly what he’s talking about and this thought shakes me to my core, because that look in his eye is the exact same one my dad gives to my mom when he tells her one thing and one thing only.
My brother has fallen for my roommate, and he doesn’t even realize it. The first ever girl he’s asked out in his entire life, and it’s my roommate.
I watch him smile, knowing he’s thinking about her. He’s smitten by her.
“Like you said, it’s weird when I see you both, so give me a little time. Also, I’ll still be skeptical about it initially, but once I know there’s something there, I won’t be . . . I want you to be happy, and if it’s with Carter, then so be it.” I nod at him. My brother is so blind, he doesn’t even know that he’s so smitten by her.Dumb idiot.
As long as it’s not Maya, I’m all good.
My roommate is the first girl my brother is taking on a date.
“Got it. Same goes for me . . . I’m still wary about TJ’s intentions, but as long as he doesn’t mess with my little sister, I won’t have to hurt him like I hurt Ryan for overstaying his welcome with Carter.” I suddenly realize something.
“Is that why you and Ryan have been fighting? Because of her!” I sit there, shocked by the confession, and watch his head nod, acknowledging that I’ve all of a sudden linked it all together. They have fought so much over her, and it all begins to make so much sense now. “You really do like her . . .” I whisper what I thought was to myself, but I see him nod again. Smiling at nothing but the table in front of him like the total idiot he is, I watch him as he begins to think about her once again. That subtle smile never leaves his face.
He then stands up on his feet and makes his way around the table gesturing me to do the same. So, I push myself up onto my feet and stand next to my abnormally tall brother and he engulfs me in a hug, and I give him one back.
“I don’t want to fight with you, sis,” he whispers to me. I sigh, not wanting to fight with him either. He’s my big brother, and I love him. I always will love him.
“Me neither, Nick.” I hug him tight missing him so much.
“You know I’ve always got your back right?” I rub my cheek on his chest up and down, telling him I know that already because we’re family. I’ve got his back and he’s got mine. “And you have to apologize to her about what you said. I know you didn’t mean it; I know you were just upset, but Haley, don’t say shit like that again about her . . . or me, and I won’t comment on your relationship with TJ,” he orders me, and I know he’s right. I do need to apologize to Carter, that all the stuff I said just fell out of my mouth. It was like word vomit that I couldn’t stop.
“Okay, I’ll talk to her when we’re back in college, and . . . I’m sorry,” I apologize to him for being the way I was. I owe him that, but he also owes me and TJ one.
“I’m sorry too, sis, I love you.” He squeezes me one last time then lets me go.
“I love you too.” I smile up at him. We push the chairs back under the table and make our way inside to our family, TJ included. Once the door opens, everyone’s attention falls to the two of us, unsure of what went down outside. Ellie is sleeping soundly on the sofa beside TJ, who is stroking her hair. I can’t help the goofy smile on my face once I see him again. Hot guys alone are my weakness, but hot guys that are amazing with kids takes the cake. But Nick goes over and seats himself next to him.
“You hurt her, I hurt you . . . Got it?” TJ nods back and shakes his hand. I melt at the look he gives me when he averts his attention back to me, those beautiful hazel eyes shining at me, and I get that butterfly feeling like always. My stomach and heart are doing flips out of sync with each other every time he gives me that look.
“Hey, beautiful,” TJ whispers up to me. I immediately roll my eyes and blush, smiling uncontrollably at his words. No matter what he says to me, I blush. Every time. Right now, I know I look hideous, yet he thinks I’m beautiful.
“Hey, handsome.” I lean in to peck him lightly on the lips, knowing that plenty of eyes are watching us, including Nick’s, who scrunches up his nose in disapproval. We’ll have to take baby steps around him.
