Page 123 of Steeling Her
I continue to brush my fingers through his hair while I open up my book. My mom recommended this new book, the one that every woman in the entire country is ranting and raving about. “Rodeo Nights.” I thought it would be a good romance, but it’s turning into an erotic novel and I’m not so sure if I’m liking it or not? I can’t put it down, but at the same time, it makes my eyes widen when I read a sex scene.
I’m as innocent as they get, this is the only type of sexual experience I’ve had, and it also makes me wonder why on Earth my mom thought it would be a good idea to read this book.
It’s like she wants me to experience it. I’m not going to lie, the first sex scene I read had me panting like I was Lori Whiteman getting the royal treatment. Then I remember when I was cleaning Nick up at that party after my date with Ryan. I thought it was his phone poking me, but it wasn’t. It most certainly was not his phone.
This is the reaction you give me most of the time when I’m with you.
I remember what he said. I give him that reaction. Surely, that means he would want me like that? Right?
I don’t even know. I’ve only once ever been in a situation like this. It makes me so unsure. But I’m so glad I didn’t go through with it. I really like him, and I know he likes me back. I just don’t know if I’m ready for that type of thing to happen to me. Maybe if we were “together, together” I would do it? But we’re both in open waters right now; testing it and seeing if we’re staying afloat.
Will I ever be ready for that?I sigh to myself, knowing I would need to be comfortable with the guy I decide to do it with. And I’m very comfortable with Nick. I just don’t want to rush it. I can’t rush things in case it doesn’t work out at all. I don’t want to regret my first time with him. I know he’ll be the one I’ll give it up to, and I know he’ll be sweet about it.
I like him enough to make that decision, but I need to pace myself. It scares the shit out of me. I want it to be special. I want it to be with that special guy. He’s that special guy to me. I know he’ll be gentle too.
He looks like a monster on the outside with his huge build and tall frame; but inside, he’s nothing but a sweetheart. A big mushy, cuddly, giant teddy bear.
I look down at him and stroke my hand lightly in his hair, feeling the softness from it being freshly washed after his training today. He hums in his sleep. I can hear the soft pants leaving his mouth. He’s exhausted, all because we stayed up late las night, talking on the phone after the date. It was the closest thing to being with each other. I didn’t think we should stay the night together after our first date, I knew he was thinking the same thing. I missed him, especially after last night.
I wished he was beside me, holding me while we slept soundly next to each other. He calms me and relaxes me, and I’ve got a feeling I do the same for him too. It’s like we thrive off each other. I have no other way to explain it.
He means a lot to me too. A lot more than any other guy I’ve been with. I stare down at this man laying on my stomach and curling himself around my body. He’s not a boy. He’s a man; he looks like one, acts like one, and is one. He’s built like one. He’s a tank, a monster. But he has the softest heart—the kindest heart. Initially, I thought the opposite, but I was so wrong. So very wrong.
He’s the perfect guy.
Every girl in this entire campus would agree with me, but they don’t know him like I do. While I don’t know everything about him, I want to. I want to know how he grew up. What he was like as a kid. I want to see his baby pictures. I want to laugh with him. I want him to tell me stories about him as a kid. I want to get to know his family a little better. I want him to feel embarrassed when his mom talks to me about him running around, chasing girls. Or when he ran around naked in the house. I want to watch his face light up when he tells me these stories. I want to hear all of that, I want to relive those special moments with him.
I want to be that girl for him.
I want to be his only girl.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Daddy
Carter
“I’m so hungry, I could eat the freaking table right now!” Haley nibbles on her nails as the three of us sit patiently in a restaurant. There are a family of four and an elderly couple sitting in the seats around us. It’s quiet, but peaceful; it’s just what I need. I hate large crowds and a busy restaurant, it makes me a little nervous. The people outside are rushing around because they’re leaving work or are meeting up with someone. It’s also peak traffic time.
“Tell me about it, I need pizza or something. I haven’t eaten anything all day today. My classes were long and painful. This week is the worst, we were given so many outrageous assignments. I feel like all the professors get together for a night and plan the week they give a shit ton of work to do,” Danielle swears as she scans the menu.
She never fails to make us laugh when we’re together. She always has something that’ll make you giggle like a child. Speaking of, the cutest little boy who is sitting behind Danielle keeps waving at me. He has dark glowing skin with jet black hair. He’s coloring on the paper place mats beside his sister. He looks up every now and then, and every time he does the movement it always catches my eye.
He has a few front teeth missing, which indicate he’s quite young, despite his lengthy legs.
I wave back once again, and I see his cheek go lightly pink once again. His dad turns in his seat to see who his mini-me keeps waving at. Once he sees my hand moving back to greet his son, he sends me a similar smile. He gently chuckles and shakes his head, turning back to face his kids.
“He keeps waving over at you.” Danielle says as I flick my eyes back to give her my attention that I was giving to the little charmer behind her.
“Yeah, he’s so cute,” I gush and decide to finally give my roommates my attention. The buzzing sound of Haley’s phone loudly vibrates on the tabletop, gathering all of our attention.
“Seriously?” Danielle chuckles over to her and I wonder who it is? It’s probably TJ, it’s always him. He always calls her every day to check up on her to see if any of us need anything. But really it’s just an excuse to call over and see his new girlfriend.
“Okay, so what if he’s needy? I think it’s so cute. It feels good that he wants me all to himself.” She swipes her phone and answers the call, “Yes, TJ?” She smirks in a bored tone just to tease him. Danielle and I chuckle back just as the waitress comes over. “I know, babe. Look, you need your guy time, and I need my girl time. I haven’t seen them in a few weeks,” she whines as she plays with her straw.
Uh, Haley, we live with you?
“Are you guys ready to order?” The small brunette girl walks over to us with a pen and paper in hand. Clicking the back of the pen against the sheets, she prepare herself for what we’re about to order. I nod and so do the girls.
