Page 167 of Steeling Her
“You look stunning!” she compliments me on my outfit. She’s sporting a purple skirt and an orange spaghetti-strap top with orange heels to match her outfit. She looks like a million dollars right now with her beautifully tanned legs.
“So do you! Oh my God, you look so tanned. You have to tell us all about your vacation!” I gush, letting her sit down and hug both my brother and Danielle hello as well.
As I sit in my seat, she responds, “I have to wait for TJ to get here first, then we’ll tell you guys all about it.” She winks at me. I’m dying to know what the Bahamas are like because I’ve never been before. I’ve always dreamed to see the crystal clear blue waters and the white sand on the beaches. It looks beautiful but a girl can only dream. “He should be here soon. He texted me that was two minutes away when you arrived at the door.” She scans her phone once more to check if there are any more messages from him. “He’s been training all afternoon, so he’s a little late,” she tells us.
“Getting a head start?” Chris teases her as he sips on his water.
“Yeah.” She giggles at him. I haven’t seen or heard of the new players. I’ve been so busy these days. I’m swamped with work and Ted. I haven’t had much time to follow ESPN. Ted hates any kind of sport, but he hates football the most because he was that kid that got picked on in high school by the football team. He was the creative kid, that’s why he did marketing. He has an eye for the business. Now he has a great job. He could definitely pass as a football player with his physique though. He hits the gym early in the morning every other day to maintain his health. If he doesn’t go to the gym, he runs along the beach.
“Is Ted coming?” Chris asks me, and I shake my head. He furrows his brows as a response. “Then who’s the seat for? You have a side piece we don’t know about, Cooks?” he jokes but covertly wonders who the spare seat is for, as do I. We both look at Haley for an explanation, but her eyes are looking behind us.
She’s waving to somebody moving towards her with a beaming smile taking over her face. I know TJ has arrived. I hear a gasp from Danielle as her eyes widen in shock.
I snap my head around to see the one guy who broke my heart in half five years ago. My body seizes, and all the fluid has effectively drained from me. I’m completely numb and cold at the sight of him, leaving nothing in its wake for me to lean on.
He’s walking behind TJ and talking to the hostess as she directs them to our table. When he laughs with TJ, I nearly shiver. His eyes are directed towards the floor until he flicks them up. He quickly halts his steps, and my breathing ceases completely. My mouth runs dry because it’s wide open in shock. His lips part and he takes a sharp breath. TJ continues to walk but eventually stops when he notices Nick has stopped following behind him.
Nick Jackson?
He flicks his head to the table, spotting me as he smiles, and I mentally curse at the spare seat that’s situated next to me.
I can’t take my eyes off him. He slowly, coolly saunters towards the table again. He doesn’t break eye contact with me until he reaches the empty seat next to mine. He pulls it out for himself. I swivel my stare away from him and face Haley once again, but my eyes are on the table itself, afraid to look at anyone.
He still smells the same and he still looks the same, just older and more gorgeous than ever. The pictures in the magazines don’t do him any justice. He’s still blonde, and he still manages to take my breath away.
He sits down in silence and says hi to my brother and Danielle.
I always knew that we’d see each other again one day, I’m still best friends with his sister after all, but I wasn’t l prepared for it to be this early. I don’t think I could ever be prepared, if I’m honest.
“Hi,” he whispers in a delicate voice. I know he’s talking to me. So, I bravely lift my head to meet his eyes. They’re searching in mine as we stare at one another in total disbelief.
Five years later and he still makes me weak.
This cannot be happening right now. I feel like I’m dreaming. I’m at a loss for words, so I revert to smiling feebly at him. It’s taking everything in me to not walk away from the table, to not jump on him and ask those questions I so badly wanted answers to, and to not kiss the living crap out of him. My emotions are so conflicted right now. I stop and reprimand myself,I’m with someone else. I shouldn’t be having those thoughts. I can’t be having those thoughts.
“When did you come into town?” Chris asks with a sour tone laced on his tongue. Danielle obviously said something to him to not cause a scene, the elbow to the ribs was a dead giveaway. My brothers will stick by me until the day I die. I know he’s on my side, and he knows how much Nick hurt me; hence the tone.
“Uh, yesterday morning. I’m staying with them for a while until I find my own home out here.” Just hearing his voice makes me gasp for air. I missed his voice so much and I didn’t even realize by how much. The soft, deep gruff of his sexy voice has me panting.
“Four year contract?” Chris tries to converse with him, trying to kill the awkwardness at the table, but I can feel the mood become shoddier and shoddier.
“Yeah, so happy. I wasn’t expecting that offer but I’m happy.” I can hear the exhilaration in his voice. I know he’s wanted to play for the Chargers since college, and I know he has worked hard for it . . . even with a few sacrifices.
“It’s a sick contract, you worked hard, man. You deserve it. I finally get to play with you again!” TJ interjects, matching Nick’s tone. Just from thinking of his name once more, I could feel my heart start to break inside my chest all over again. Everything is reminding me of the day he ended it with me. I was so embarrassed and wouldn’t leave my room for days and weeks at a time.
“Okay, enough about football!” Haley waves off the boys and their nonsense. She begins to babble on about her vacation, about the typical picturesque beaches, the Atlantis hotel that they stayed at on Paradise Island, the water park inside, the aquarium they walked through, and the excursions to the other island where they fed the pigs and iguanas.
All the while, I’m trying to calm my beating heart down. I can hear it beating in my ears and I can feel my veins pulsate in my wrists. The fractured heart that it once was still has its wound, but now it’s breaking all over again.
I’m finding it hard to focus on what Haley is saying and describing with her brother and my ex-boyfriend for a whole two minutes, who is sitting right next to me. Her very brother that crushed my heart in the palm of his hand by breaking up with me to make his career happen, disappointing me.
I suppose it was the right choice. He’s now the most talked about player right now; he’s trending on all the social medias. He’s got what he wanted. He has a mountain of endorsement deals at his beck and call. It’s hard to escape him when his face is painted everywhere in this city and beyond. But I didn’t know he was the new quarterback for the Chargers. There was a lot of talk about Jason Sterling for the past few months but work has clouded me, so I haven’t been watching much this week and missed all the trades.
“You look beautiful,” Nick whispers, and I can feel my legs quiver. My hand’s fist up, I can sense the sting of my nails digging into the skin on my palms, almost bleeding and telling my body to react against him, but it has a mind of its own. I’m thankful I’m sitting down because if I was standing, I would be on the floor. Due to the unexpected compliment, I flick my eyes back to meet his and send him a shaky smile in return. This is harder than I thought it would be.
“Thanks,” I reply finally. I watched him gulp down before we both turn back to the couple telling us why we’re all here today.
As much as I would like to deny that the connection isn’t there anymore—that the spark is no longer there, that the flame has been blown out—it hasn’t. None of that is the truth. I’d be lying if I told you and myself otherwise.
