Page 172 of Steeling Her
I see that my sister is free from Danielle’s hold and grab her before someone else does. I’ve got to congratulate the bride to be.Damn, she’s so grown-up now.She smiles knowingly at me while I open my arms for her to come to me. I give her a nice sibling hug. I kiss the top of her head as congratulations.
“Thanks, guys. I’m so excited, like, I kind of want to just book a church tomorrow and marry her. I don’t want to wait, but I know she already has started planning.” TJ rolls his eyes, playfully talking down to the brown-haired beauty who is still holding onto his arms and his jaw locks open. Every single one of us is in utter shock right now.
“I’m so proud of you, Haley. You have become this incredibly strong woman. I’m so happy for you. This beautiful, grown-up, and tough woman who has put up with his shit for too long. God, kid, stop growing up so fucking fast!” We laugh at the final part. I’m not good at these things. I have no idea what to say. “Are you sure you want to do this? It’s not too late to back out, you know?” I get a slap for that one but she knows I’m only pulling her leg for the fun of it. “I can’t believe this. You beat me down the aisle,” I lament the last part quietly as we hold each other tight like we used to do when we would fight and make up when we were kids. She squeezes me harder than ever and I know she heard me, even if I mumbled it.
“There’s still time.” She insists for only my ears. I’m not able to ask her what she means by that as everyone has been reseated again. So, we decide to halt the special moment and join the party, listening to the energetic chatter around us and talking about what has conspired in the last few minutes. I’ll ask her later when there are no other ears. I don’t want to draw attention to it.
As I sit back in the seat next to Carter, I breathe a sigh of relief for some reason. She toys with her dress once more, showing me that she’s nervous to be around me, which I get. I was just as shocked as she was when I walked in. I didn’t expect to see her today. I knew I would eventually, but I thought it was just going to be the three of us.
When the waiter returns to the table, I assumed we were going to place our orders, but instead he sets down a very large drink right in front of Carter.
Saying her name, even if it’s in my head, is strange. Seeing her drinking right now is abnormal. She was never really into drinking back in college, so I wonder if she drinks a lot now. Did she acquire a taste for it now? Or is she having problems? Relationship problems?
Which brings me back to my line of questioning.
Is she happy with him?
Does he make her happy? Laugh? Smile?
Does he appreciate her beauty and shyness?
Does he appreciate the little things she probably does for him? Or is he the oblivious jerk that I hope he is so I can hate him even more?
As we let the happy couple tell us their proposal story, I can feel the knot of regret tighten in my stomach as I watch them gaze lovingly into one another as they recount their love story. You can see it in their eyes, they truly love each other, and I couldn’t be happier for my sister because I know, deep down, he will care for her and take care of her needs. That’s all I could hope for as her brother.
They’re still the exact same couple as when we were in college, nothing has changed other than a few fights here and there, but they always came out on top when outside influences wish they wouldn’t. Some people can be brutal like that. But they handled it like pros and walked out hand in hand with their heads held high.
They’ve been through thick and thin together and it’s only made them stronger. Many years of watching them has secured that thought in my mind. I know they’ll be durable.
Seeing them like this has me glad that they found each other—that they fell for each other.
Because they have shown that love is simply one soul inhabiting two bodies. The definition of finding your other half whose heart beats in sync with yours. That’s what’s it’s all about.
Love.
Searching for it, finding it, keeping it, and relishing it.
It’s times like these where I would give anything to go back in time and change the past.
Anything.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Don’t Get Too Distracted
Nick
I sat there frozen for basically the entire meal, trying to rack my brain about what I can say to her; what I wanted to know; what she’s been up to, but I couldn’t think of a single fucking word.
Not one.
And that’s what frightens me. She still has that mind-numbing effect on me. That fog sweeping over my thoughts. My heart is pounding a million miles an hour, I can feel my veins thumping in my wrists and arms. The room starts feeling clammy, and my lungs feels like they’re being compressed and restricted by an unknown source.
Everything in my body longs for her but I know it’s not appropriate. As much as I’d like to lean over and take her in my arms; to embrace her; to whisper how much I’ve missed her and how much I love her; to kiss her sweet lips; to take her home with me and to devote the rest of the night to her; but I have to respect that she probably wants nothing to do with me. That she perhaps was hoping to never see me again. But that doesn’t mean I won’t try. I won’t leave her again. I feel that’s there’s something still there between us. The same thing that was lingering above us in college. The same thing that I feel when I would see pictures of her or videos of her. Hearing her voice in person after so long is such a relief to me too.
I don’t know how to vindicate it. It’s like there’s something palpable in the air. Something electric and dangerous. But it’s there. I can feel the sentiments building between us as time goes on. This electric spark connecting the two of us, and damn did I miss it.
TJ payed the bill for the night, and I haven’t stopped getting glares from Chris the entire time that I’ve sat here. I don’t even need to look at him to know that; I can sense his eyes on me, watching every move I make and probably judging me for it too. I have to step back and understand where he’s coming from with it. I hurt his little sister and she may or may not be still hurting. Hence, the silence between us.
