Page 200 of Steeling Her
“Carter,” he calls after me. “Carter, come on,” he moans but I pace towards the table that people are awkwardly gathered around. Everyone has their eyes on me as I direct myself towards the food. I stock my plate up with everything I can see and set myself down in the corner next to my oldest brother.
I eat in silence for a while, not knowing if Ted has left or not. My guess is that he has because he hasn’t approached me.
“Still got a good arm, C-dog!” Austin jokes, attempting to lighten my sour mood. It did make me smile down at my vegetables, nonetheless. I understand that he’s trying to make me feel better about the situation and my outburst. I appreciate it, but until Ted gives me the time and effort, I won’t be happy. I’m glad I finally said what has been niggling at me for the past while.
***
“Bye, my little munchkin!” I squeeze my niece goodbye at the door in her pajamas.
“Bye bye, Aunt Carter!” She squeezes me back with what little energy she has left until the sugar crash.
“Now, you be good for you mom and dad, alright? I hope you had a good birthday, sweetheart.” I kiss her head as she nods, promising me she won’t be much of a hassle to the two but we all know she will be. She’s full of sugar and adrenaline right now; you have to let her crash.
I know Danielle will be preparing a bath for her as soon as everyone leaves. It’s what brings her down and is the only thing that helps her go to sleep.
“Best birthday EVER!” Yeah, she’s still hyper. “Can you swim with me tomorrow?” she asks because I never got into the pool although others did. I just couldn’t get over my fear for her.
“Maybe another time.” I dodge the question like I always do. She takes the bait and lets it drop.
“Okay.” She grins widely. I kiss her once more before handing her back to her grandfather.
“Bye, guys!” I wave at everyone before backing out of the door. TJ is going to drive me home instead of calling for a cab, which I don’t mind doing. There is enough room in his large car for me and the other three but I just didn’t want to take up his time. I’m grateful that he is willing to drive me back; it’s only a half hour away from here, too, so it’s not all that bad.
As soon as we walk out towards the car, I see somebody sitting on the hood of a car that looks very similar to Ted’s. Once I see the person stand up and come into a little bit more light, I recognize that the person really is Ted. His lean frame, dressed in all black, is slouched with both hands in his jacket pockets. He licks his lips and stares back at me.
My feet stop in their tracks as I take him in. I thought he was at the office and that he’d be there all night seeing as the call might have been more important than me and my family.
“Hey,” he greets me softly and awkwardly. He’s unsure about how I feel.
“We’ll wait for you in the car.” TJ nods to his own car as everyone watches Ted and I interact.
“Thanks, TJ.” I smile thankfully at him for taking the hint. I turn my face back to my boyfriend and cross my arms as a defense mechanism. I wait for him to start talking. We stay silent and stare at one another until everyone gets in the car.
He steps closer to me, knowing that I wasn’t going to close the distance. “I’m sorry,” he says delicately. “I’m not sorry for leaving. This was a high priority situation and I couldn’t ignore it, but I am sorry for not being present for the day; for you and your family. I was wrong, and I shouldn’t have done that to you or Taylor. I promise it won’t happen again,” he says, unwinding my arms from the barrier I’m creating between us.
When I don’t say anything, he sighs and drops his head down. “I deserve the silent treatment; I know I do. I just wanted to do my best at my job, and you suffered because of that. I’m sorry about that, I feel like an asshole, but I told you from the start—”
“Actually, you didn’t, but that’s not the point,” I cut him off from telling me a lie right to my face. He never told me what he worked as when we started dating and he never asked me either. It was like an unspoken rule to not talk about work at first, and now, that rule has been shattered into tiny fragments. He put effort into the relationship at the beginning, then as it went on the effort disintegrated. It’s something I’ve noticed for a while now. Something I don’t like but have come to accept. I’ll always be second to his career.
Like every guy I’ve been with.
I sigh and subconsciously look towards Nick in the passenger seat of TJ’s car with a stone cold expression. He has a frown on his face as his finger rests across his lips, reading the situation.
I pull myself back for a moment.
“Talk to me,” he says to coax me into opening up. Once it’s open, it’s open, and there is no going back.
“I understand that your career is your top priority—”
“It isn’t—”
“Stop, it is and that’s fine,” I lie to him. I take a deep breath, knowing that I can’t compete with it and understand that this man has worked so hard to be where he is today. I can’t fault him for that, I can’t. I just wish he was able to balance things better. “I just wish that you could be present for a little while—just a little while. That’s all I ask for,” I request from him. I almost cringe at my tone and how desperate I sound. I’m frustrated that he can’t see that—that I’m working to keep this relationship afloat while he is working on his career and putting me in a corner.
I’m working on mine, too, but it just seems so one-sided.
“Okay. I will be present from now on. I’ll give you my word, babe. I promise.” He nods promisingly. I take a deep breath in and take in what he just said. He could say anything he likes to me, but I need to see it in action to trust him.
“I’m not sorry for throwing your phone in the neighbor’s pool,” I say after some moments of silence. He snorts and laughs at my honest confession.
