Page 201 of Steeling Her
“I got a new one anyway. That one wasn’t repairable or accessible.” He kisses my lips. I’m taken aback by the bold move and lean back to look up at him. “Enough about my phone, I’ll drop you home instead of TJ. I’m sure he has enough people in his car.” Ted nods at the car with the audience looking at us and him wrapped around me. I feel awkward even though we’ve done this plenty of times before. So, I pull myself back a little.
“I’ll just tell him I’m going with you,” I explain after he questions the distance I put between us.
“Alright, I’ll be in the car waiting.” He nods down at the black Mercedes.
When I reach the car, I knock on Nick’s side and he rolls down the window. With an unimpressed look on his face, he stares at me, his green eyes judging me intently. I can almost feel the irritation radiate from him.
“Hey, TJ, thanks for the offer for the ride, but I’m going to go home with Ted. You don’t need to drop me off.” I smile to him, letting him know that everything is fine.
Even though it isn’t.
“You sure? It’s no problem,” he asks me.
“I’m sure. I’ll see you guys sometime next week?” I wave goodbye to Haley and Jason in the back all while Nick stays silent and focuses ahead, glaring at Ted turning the car around so we can head off straight away. “Bye.” I pat the side of the car.
Just as I was about to leave, I hear him say, “Goodnight, little one.” It made me stop and shut my eyes so I could feel his words—to feel the weight of his words. I’ve missed him calling me that. It was our thing, his nickname for me.
I loved it, and I still do.
I don’t even hate myself for that fact.
It was so smooth, like milk chocolate melting in your mouth.
But I inhale deeply and continue to walk towards the car. Ted leans across and pushes the door open for me to climb in. As I do, I chance a quick glance back at TJ’s car and catch Nicks’ eyes. I can see the resentment clouding his eyes; they’re flaming red and directed at Ted. I watch his jaw twitch then turn to face my boyfriend.
I see him smiling, but it’s not at me.
“You ready?” he asks, slowly taking his eyes away from TJ’s car.
“Yeah,” I reply breathlessly and strap myself in as he waits for the click of my seatbelt. As he drives forward, I resist the urge to look back at my friends. I look straight ahead and watch the tree and hedgerows pass us by.
The car is silent for a while. I don’t know what to make of it. It wasn’t awkward, but it wasn’t not awkward either, if that makes any sense. It was somewhere in between.
I am also too tired to make the effort to end this midway awkward feeling. As the journey back to my home is full of winding streets, I slide slightly side to side in the passenger seat, edging closer and closer until we get to the small driveway with my car parked in it. Ted rolls to a stop outside by the curb. I unbuckle myself and swing open the door. Stepping out, I shut the door behind me and Ted does the same. We walk towards the door and I place my key in the hole.
“I thought you weren’t mad at me anymore?” Ted asks, huffing behind me.
“I’m not, I’m just exhausted after taking care of all those kids,” I confess. I push the door open when the locks turn. I keep it open to allow him in and keep walking towards the living room.
“Carter,” Ted calls me, and I feel the dreaded conversation coming back, “why does it feel like you’re avoiding me?” Maybe because I am.
No. Don’t do this now.
I scold my subconscious for being so brutal.
“I’m not, I’m honestly just really tired.” I turn on my heel and face him. “I’m sorry. I just spent the entire day looking after a bunch of crazy kids who wanted nothing more than to throw me in the pool.” I smile, trying to lighten the situation and it does. He smiles down at me and stops right in front of me.
“Okay, thank God I missed that.” He laughs and I slap him on the chest to hush him from what he said. “What? You know what I’m like with kids, Carter.” He chuckles as he places each of his palms on either side of my face.
“That could change.” I smirk and watch the color drain from his face. My smile drops off my own face, wondering what I just said to make him as white as a ghost.
“Are you—Are you pregnant?” he stutters what sounded like a forbidden word to him.
“What? No! No, I’m not pregnant!” This moment takes me back to the time when TJ asked me if I was pregnant in college and Nick told me that I wasn’t that type of girl. That time, I read the comment completely wrong. It was meant as a compliment but I took it as an insult.
“Okay, thank God.” He breathes harshly, but at least I know where I stand with him.
“Maybe one day.” I smile feebly, trying to show that it was a little insulting for him to say that.Am I not mother material?
