Page 229 of Steeling Her
We stop and stare at the sun that is slowly, but surely, about to dip behind the horizon and disappear until the morning. We sit in the sand and watch it all for the moment, taking in the natural scenery like when we used to watch the stars. This moment is our moment. We always shared these type of moments with one another; we always made time for this no matter where we were in the world. Seeing as we’re so close to one another and Austin is leaving tonight, I couldn’t think of a better moment to have with them both.
It was something that I knew that they knew that I needed.
As we sit and watch the sun move to another place—another home. I’m still trying to find out where my heart’s home is.
Is it with Ted? Or is it with Nick?
In short, should I follow my head or should I follow my heart?
I was driven out of my thoughts by a loud scream. I notice that night had already fallen and Taylor got scared because she couldn’t find us, so she cried.
“I got her!” Chris pushes himself up from the sand and rushes over dotingly to his daughter who panicked for a moment. When she hears her dad’s voice, she calms down a little and rushes to him while wiping her cheeks.
The sound of the water lapping at the shoreline sends shivers down my spine. I turn my attention back to the stars greeting us through the dark cloak that is wrapped around this part of the world. It’s amazing how quickly the world loses light for some time as another source light appears when you think you’re in darkness.
I could feel the wetness sting my eyes as I stare at the stars that were twinkling above me.
“Did you know that every star we see is bigger and brighter than the sun?” I begin to have flashbacks of a moment I could never forget. “And when a star ‘twinkles’ it’s actually not due to the star at all, it’s due to the Earth’s turbulent atmosphere.” I remember that night like it was just yesterday, I could never forget that moment. It was our moment. A perfect moment that we shared together on the roof of that house back in college.
“I didn’t know that . . . that’s kinda cool.” I still, to this day, am not sure if he even cared about what I said. He was still nice enough to stay with me and keep me company. “Why do you know a lot about space?” He smiles that perfect smile I rarely see these days. Now, he looks stone cold with that pout he wears constantly.
“I always liked learning about space. I have a telescope at home; depending on the night, I look out of it at midnight just to look at the galaxy. It’s so beautiful.” I packed up that telescope away after I returned home from college. It reminded me too much of that moment. It was childish of me to remove everything that reminded me of him, but since doing that, I was able to cope.
And when he kissed me, I felt my entire body give into him and the perfect shape of his lips.
“Carter?” Austin’s nudges me out of my thoughts.
“Sorry.” I bow my head ashamed and wipe my eyes.
“It’s okay to feel upset. I can come back any time I want to.” I could hear the teasing tone in his voice, so I look up at my older brother to see the glint in his eyes as I clear my own head. He sighs and wraps an arm around me, pulling me closer to his chest as we both stare out at the sea and watch the ripples of the waves, the white line of the foam teasing us as they come closer and then disappear. “You’ll be alright.” He kisses my head tenderly like he always did while I was growing up. I never really fought with Austin back then. I used to with Chris more times than I did with my older brother. He was my protector, like my dad, so he was always there for me. Chris was, too, but Austin always looked out for me in a different way from Chris.
I used to fight with Chris more than anyone. He would say the stupidest things to me and I would to flip out. Now that we’ve grown up, I’ve become accustomed to his stupidity; he’s still my brother.
“You always were alright, even when it got hard for you, Carter. You are a lot stronger than you think you are. I’ve watched you grow into a strong and beautiful woman,” he says to me, and it makes me smile.
“Thank you,” I whisper back to him and hug him closer.
“You know I’m just a phone call away, right?” I nod back, knowing he’s always going to be there for me. He’s family.
“I know you are, but you call me most of the time. You need to find yourself a girlfriend, and soon. Mom is getting worried,” I joke and he pulls back to nudge me with his shoulder.
“Who knows? Maybe I already have one?” He stares out at the ocean. I pull back away from him to look at my brother, clearly in shock.
“Wait, what?” I laugh in disbelief. “You have a girl?” I ask in shock. He rarely talks about girls with us, so the fact that he has tells me he really likes this girl.
“Not exactly . . .” He shakes his head from side to side.
“What do you mean ‘not exactly’? You either do or you don’t, Austin, which is it?” I ask him to expound on his cryptic words. All he does is laugh a type of laugh that I’ve never heard before, and it makes me smile. “What was that? Hold on! What was that noise that just left your mouth?” I try not to laugh at the sound that just left his own mouth.
“What noise? That’s just how I laugh,” he denies that his laugh is any different, but I know my brother. Thatwasa different laugh.
“No, that is not the noise you make when you laugh. You sounded like Taylor for a moment,” I joke.
“Pfttt, I did not sound like Taylor!” He laughs that different laugh again.
“There! That laugh, what was that?” I chuckle as he starts to make me feel better. I could always count on my family to make me feel better.
“Carter, that is how I normally—”
