Page 246 of Steeling Her
“I just didn’t feel that we were working out.” I shrug and take a bite from my own breakfast. “We were both getting irritated with one another, and I can see it putting a strain on our relationship.” I shrug.
“That happens. You keep giving your relationships plenty of chances to let it fix itself, but it never happens. It’s just how things go. If it’s not meant to be, then it’s not. There’s no point in forcing it,” she offers me advice that I wish I listened to previously when people had their doubts about us. “So, who ended it?”
“I did, I went around to speak to him and told him it’s for the best that we need to go our separate ways. Well, not in so many words, but you get the picture,” I tell her to keep an open mind with what I’m saying.
“And how are you?” she continues with her line of questioning.
“I’m good. I actually feel fine. The day after I broke up with him was hard, but after that, I feel like I got it all out. Now, I don’t feel anything for him or the relationship. I feel lighter. It’s hard to explain, but I feel relieved,” I tell her, taking a deep breath.
“That’s what a toxic relationship does to you.” she says cuttingly. My eyebrows shoot up in shock that she saw it too. “Yeah, I noticed. Girl, I noticed everything, and don’t you forget it. I also noticed you and that gorgeous, new Chargers quarterback know each other very well.” She smirks and then points to the TV behind me.
I see Nick holding a blurred out face of a little girl’s hand as they walk out from the hotel lobby to the car. I know it’s Taylor he’s holding hands with. Looks like that image is giving him a lot more popularity than ever. Girls are swooning over the sight of him holding on to my niece and protecting her like she is his own flesh and blood.
Even the woman sitting across from me is borderline about to throw her panties at the screen. “I mean look at him. He’s carved from the gods themselves. My goodness, I wish they looked like that in my day. I would have hopped on that train in no time.” She sighs as she stares at Nick, but it makes me laugh.
“Seems to me like he’s been making an effort to look nice since he walked into this office. Care to shed some light on that fine topic? Hmmm?” She raises her brows up and down with a look of delight on her face that she’s finally cornered me with the question that looks like she’s been dying to ask since he first walked into the office. “Mr. ‘I only trust your hands.’ ” she smirks making me kick her under the table.
“We dated,” I simply say.
“Pffft, I could have told you that.” She waves me off with a large grin on her face.
“It’s complicated,” I say, not knowing where to start but also knowing there isn’t enough time between now and when people start arriving to work to tell her the story. “It’s a long and complicated story.” I sigh while looking at him on the screen once again, holding my niece while Chris and Danielle pack the trunk with the driver. I watch him smile at her. There’s a lot of hype around these pictures at the moment.
It is a precious moment to see. I just wish I was there.
But I willingly denied myself that. I needed some space to get my head around things and to breathe. I haven’t told anyone about the breakup except for Candice. I know she won’t say a word, but I also want to ease myself into it with my family and friends because they will have a lot of questions. I also know they will be celebrating, and I’m not sure I’m ready to celebrate the death of another relationship. I’m not quite ready for that just yet.
“Have you heard anything from the Chargers’ recruitment agents yet?” she asks, steering the topic away from Nick slightly.
“Nope, not yet. I don’t have my hopes high for that. If it comes back positive, then so be it, but if it comes back negative, I won’t beat myself up over it either. I did my best, but I don’t have the experience behind me. I haven’t been in the industry long enough, so I’ll be surprised if I do get it. I understand that I most likely won’t. As much as I would love to, but I think there will be other opportunities down the line. Plus, I interviewed for one, so they will keep me in mind for any further jobs they may have.” I nod just as I start to hear the door bell jingle, telling the both of us that someone has arrived in the office. So, it’ll just be normal chit-chat from now on.
“Keep your head up. No news is good news, right?” She smiles warmly at me.
“Yeah.” I sigh. Usually, when people don’t call you back instantly, it means they didn’t love you. And I know my brother’s interruption didn’t help the matter.
I pack everything away and make my way to my desk to have a look at my schedule today. I turn on my screen and go straight to my calendar. We look to be pretty booked for Monday, which only means one thing; today will fly by.
And that’s exactly what happened.
Before I even had time to sit and think, I found myself listening to the radio on my drive home, stuck in the usual traffic. I’m humming away to Hotel California. My dad used to play this all the time when we were younger, so we all know how the song went. It brings a memory back to me when he’d put the three of us in the back seat of the rented car he got when he’d go back to Mississippi for the summer to visit my grandparents. We used to head to their home and go on the freeway down. My dad used to have all the windows open when this song would come on as our hair flies around. It always made me and my brothers laugh hysterically.
The thought of it still makes me laugh today.
It isn’t long until we start moving again. A long half an hour of driving later, I finally reach my place.
I hop out as soon as I park the car and make my way inside my home. With the clanging of the the keys echoing around me, I make my way towards the kitchen to begin cooking dinner.
I pull out some of the leftovers that I made last week and shove it into the microwave and stand there against the countertop and stare at my feet in thought. Running thoughts are now plaguing my mind, jumping from one thing to another. It’s overwhelming.
The beep from the microwave pulls me back to reality. A gentle reminder to just breathe. I pull the food out to silence the device and place it on a plate for myself.
I bring it over to dining table with a glass of water and sit myself down to have my dinner.
Alone.
Again.
I switch on the TV to fill the silence, like always.
