Page 262 of Steeling Her
What started off as a good day turned into a sour one very quickly.
“It’s only going to be a shit day if you allow it to be. You’re in control of your reactions, so if you want to be hot headed and start swinging with your fists, Nick, you’re only disappointing yourself.” Chris pats my shoulder for comfort after practice. The entire time, I’ve been holding back from reacting to Perez’s taunts.
To take my mind off it, I let Chris and TJ see the photos of the house I’ve finally agreed to buy. They were pleased for me and impressed with the place. They talked me through the process, so I would know what to expect. This is my first home, and I know no matter where I am in the world, I will always come back to it. I have been renting since coming out of college knowing that once I make it out here, I will settle. It’s where I’ve always wanted to be.
Ever since I was a kid and saw the movies and TV shows that were set in LA, I knew I always belonged here. The two things I don’t like about living here is the paparazzi and the social climbers.
The paparazzi are following your every move and say things to get you to react so they get the million dollar shot of you. The social climbers are leeches, and once they latch on to you, there is no way of getting away from them. They will follow you around until they get what they want.
I’ve only been out here for a few months, but I’ve already seen the two things I hate most in action.
Some of the football players think they’re gods and think they can do whatever or whoever they want. Girls fall for the power trip they’re on. I can’t even deny that it wasn’t my style. It was, but I’ve changed for the better. I get no happiness from it, and it only made me go deeper into the black hole I’m in.
Now, I’m struggling to get out and keep my head above water.
The media’s perception of me hasn’t helped. I’m the broody, stone-cold, dark football player of the NFL. Heartless, some might say, but I swear I’m not that bad. I just like to keep to myself. I don’t thrive in the limelight. I’m here to do the one thing I’ve been hired and trained to do; that’s to win games and play football.
“So, when’s the party?” TJ teases once we reach the showers. I smirk to myself and lay my towel on the free bench outside the cubicle to the shower.
“Who said you’re invited?” I joke back, making him chuckle before pulling his drenched shirt off over his head.
“Pfft. You know Iamthe party, Nick.” He strips further and opens the door to clean himself. I follow suit to the door next to him; same goes for Jason and Chris, who go to the showers on either side of us.
“You must show me the new place, Jackson. I heard it’s got a good view of the LA skyline.” Jason begins to wash his chest. I turn the knob for some running hot water.
“Once the deal is hopefully sealed, I will take you guys up there for a look around. It’s a pretty sweet view. I’m glad I took the time to see it this morning. I was going to change my mind because I was so frustrated with finding the right place.” I shrug as we begin our shower talk.
“Bachelor pad?” Jason jokes but I don’t take it very lightly. He knows it so he quickly apologizes for it after realizing my sudden silence. “Bad joke.” He weakly smiles at me. I accept it and we move on from it.
I knew he didn’t mean anything by it, he’s not that type of guy to bring a person down like that. It’s the prying ears around us. I would have a problem with repeating it to everyone and their mother. I have a bad enough stigma about me out there, I don’t need other things to add to the list. It’s all my own stupid fault for it, too, but I’m trying to step back and look after myself. Out here, it’s very cutthroat; one minute, you’re the next big thing and then that could all change in an instant.
The broody, bad boy bachelor pad. I can see it now.
I groan to myself at the thought of it.Maybe I’m over thinking it?
“Stop being so uptight about things.” TJ rolls his eyes heavenward at me. I sigh, knowing that he’s right, I’ve been nothing but an uptight asshole since I graduated from college. It’s unfortunately the sour route I took after the breakup.
I broke down and killed the man I was before, and I can’t shake this side of me off. I hate this version of me, but I don’t do much to change it. I find it hard. If I don’t have any expectations for myself, I won’t be disappointed. The only thing I allowed myself to look forward to was signing with the Chargers and moving out here. I knew I could push myself to do it and become the quarterback for the team. It’s the only thing that’s hasn’t disappointed me.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you Jason,” I apologize as well for being an ass. He presses his lips together and nods in appreciation for the apology. He’s a good guy; ever since I first met him, I knew we’d get along.
He’s carefree and goes with the flow. Not your average football player, he’s a little nerdy and reads a lot. You can tell he’s a well educated guy and took his college experience seriously. He’s a psychology major graduate and is pretty smart.
After we’re finished in the showers, we get dressed and leave the compound. Chris and Jason leave together because they live near each other. Normally, I would catch a ride with TJ because we live together, but I have my car since I drove here from the house I saw this morning.
Only a few weeks left and I can finally move into my own place, have my own time, and do what I want in my own company. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for TJ and Haley for letting me crash with them, but it’s time I moved out and into my own space.
And this new house has “Nick’s space” written all over it.
For now.
