Page 270 of Steeling Her
This thing that we have is still alive, and it feels like five years never passed between us. I still feel like the college girl he reached across and kissed on the rooftop of the sorority house while we looked at the stars together rather than being drunk at a party. I still feel like the college girl he rescued from the pool.
I still feel like the college girl from everything we did; when he made love to me, when he took me out on dates, when he appreciated me even over the little things, when he held my hand as we walked to classes together, when he defended me with his sister’s dismissals, and when he fought hard for me against Ryan and Maya. All of those actions still stand true to today. He wanted this, and I know he still does, as do I.
Will things be the same? Who knows? Maybe they will, or maybe they won’t? It’s all about trial and error with relationships.
This kiss is everything that I needed. He is what I need in my life. I’m not depending on him to be happy, but my happiness required letting go of the past and starting anew. That’s what I’m going to do from now on with this.
I couldn’t help but laugh, and neither could Nick. We look around to see people cheering us on. I feel the blush creep up my neck from the embarrassment of the attention we’re receiving as Nick smiles awkwardly at the onlookers.
It’s still alive; the connection between us from the very first day we met. The power of it is unmatchable. I have a tingling sensation throughout my entire body. A fire has been relit since the first kiss of today; a dormant fire that has been itching to shine bright for five years. A familiar feeling, one I missed and very much welcome with open arms.
I’ve missed his touch and the way he holds me. I miss his smell. I miss those eyes staring into mine. I miss that drop-dead gorgeous smile of his, and I miss the cheekiness. I miss the sound of his laugh or the way he says my name. I miss everything about him.
Will my heart get crushed again?
Or
Will he make me feel whole again?
Will it be the same?
Will it be worth the fight?
I won’t know unless I try, right? And I’m willing to put in the effort, just as long as he does the same, to start again. I just hope it’s better the second time around.
He turns back to face me again, and I peer into those loveable green eyes of his and push back the long hair he has grown off his forehead so I can see him clearly. It doesn’t even matter that he’s dripping with sweat, I just want him to hold me like before.
“Just how I remembered it,” he whispers between us as we have our one and only moment. “It feels just like home,” he finishes. I lean in to kiss him once more while the stadium erupts with delight.
The surge of cheers are drowned out so we could have our moment. I’m totally lost in this kiss.
Life has taught me invaluable lessons, but there is one thing that I know for sure, no matter how hard things get in the past or in the future; it’s that he will always be my Nick Jackson, and I will always be his “little one.”
Epilogue One
Carter
I’ve been working myself up the entire day for this moment. I’m sweating, my heart is racing, and I’m almost on the verge of tears. I have been over thinking this entire moment since Nick brought it up, and I hate it—I hate that this inanimate object has such a hold over me, I hate the feeling I get when I hear that word, and I hate that I can’t run from it now.
“Come on, it won’t be that bad.” He cups his hands around his mouth and shouts up to me as I stand on the balcony to the master bedroom in his Bel Air home. I look down at him as the dim lights in the pool light up the area around us. He places both towels on the side of the pool where the lounge beds are overlooking the view of downtown Los Angeles.
I can never get used to being here; the sights, the smells, the air, and the noise. It’s all something that took me forever to get used to when I first moved here. Yet, when I’m away from it, I miss it.Weird, right?
“Don’t make me come up there and drag you down, Steel, you know I will,” he threatens me, a dimple appearing on his cheek as he runs his foot through the water to check the temperature and makes a small wave. “The temperature is perfect,” he mutters down to the ripples and shakes his foot off, getting rid of the excess water droplets.
I huff out a deep breath and grip on to the metal bar on the balcony holding up the glass panes.
“Just come down, please. I have pizza,” he coaxes me one last time. I glare at him, which makes him laugh, as I walk back into the bedroom. I can feel my nerves kicking in.
“Fine, but if I drown, I’m coming back to haunt you. Not this place, but you! Got it?” I say as I point back at him and listen to that chuckle that I love hearing.
“Yeah, yeah. just get down here.” His voice fades when I walk deeper into the bedroom and see the blue bikini that’s laying on the bed. Haley took the initiative to buy me some earlier this week without me knowing and delivered them to Nick’s place for our swimming lesson that I didn’t know we were having until I arrived tonight.
Talk about an ambush.
As I put the swimsuit on, I grab one of his t-shirts and throw it over my body as a makeshift cover. The sound of my feet hitting the luxurious tiles that cost far too much for me to count reaches my ears as I descend down one side of the grandiose staircase. I skip down to the kitchen to grab the boxes of pizza that were delivered only a few minutes ago. I reach across the island to take some paper towels with me as well.
Just one look at the water has me seriously doubting whether I’ll able to do this. I have been so scared of water, and college only made it worse; Nick knows that.
