Page 161 of Steeling Her
“I’m sorry.” I kiss her forehead, apologizing that she can’t see her when I’m around. Maybe in the future when Haley is around? If she stays friends with her. Maybe I can talk to her in the future, because I know I will try and contact her as much as I can when I’ve reached my point of no longer being able to take the silent treatment from her. Or maybe I’ll surprise myself and let her be happy, even if it is with someone else. She deserves to be happy.
“It’s okay.” She smiles weakly, and I kiss her head once more.
“I’ve got to go, alright? Be good for me, won’t you?” I tease her. I watch her blonde head bob up and down. She’s always been good for my parents. “I want you to go upstairs and play a movie until Mommy comes up, okay?” She sends me a thumbs-up, letting me know that she’ll be alright. “I’ll be right back, I promise.” I watch her bow her head as she looks to the floor for some guidance. “I love you.” I squeeze her in a hug, and she does the same back.
“I love you too,” she whispers as she lets me go.
As I make my way towards the car, I look back to see her in her room waving out the window at me. I send her one back, and at that moment, I never thought it would be the last time I set foot in my house for the next few years.
Five years to be exact.
Chapter Thirty-Four
I Can’t Set Her Free
Five Years Later
Carter
A lot has changed. A lot.
It’s strange to think that I’m not in college anymore. That I’m out on my own, living and fending for myself in this big bad world. I’ve moved away from home and Mississippi. LA is where I call home, and I couldn’t be happier. I’m surrounded by palm trees, shirtless guys, and stick-thin models looking for their big break. And don’t get me started on the aspiring actors and actresses in this town.
There’re flocks of them.
This atmosphere is so beautiful. The humid air every morning, the slight breeze touching your skin; skateboards, beaches, boardwalks, carnivals, and music all decorate this place. It really is beautiful at times.
I’m trying to make it into this business on my own without my last name as an aid. It’s something that I’ve always wanted, but I now realize just how hard I must work to get it and maintain it.
But I’m a new person. One who has grown to be more comfortable in my own skin. I’m still shy, but not as much as I used to be. This growth in finding myself has helped me a lot.
My friends and family have a lot to do with that. It was a laborious process and continues to be one, one I know I will make for a lifetime. I still suffer horrendously from anxiety and panic attacks but that’s something I can never get rid of. I just have to learn to control it.
As I make my way through the queues of palm trees in my car that has broken down too many times to count. I had to get rid of my Mercedes to pay for the rent in my small house. My dad wanted to pay for me, but I outrightly refused but thanked him for his help. I told him that I could do it on my own. I know I can do it. It’s hard, but not impossible.
“Do you have any idea why Haley wants us to go to dinner tomorrow night? I will literally have to run out from my work to make it on time. You know what she’s like when you’re late,” I ask to recipient in my phone while I roll my eyes and prepare myself for my Monday morning shift for work.
I live thirty minutes away from the physical therapist’s office that I got the job from after I graduated from college. I went job hunting for months until I came across this place, and I’ve been working here ever since then. I’ve always wanted to work in California, so I work in downtown LA, where it’s a nightmare to get parking in the morning. I try to leave extra early so I can get there on time and get a free space.
“Girl, if I had any idea I would tell you.” Danielle chuckles back to me.
“NO!” I could hear my niece shriek at her mom down the line. “NO! Mommy, NO!” she yells again. I flinch a little at the high-pitched scream that tailed her words.She would put the banshee to shame.I could tell that she really isn’t up for going to school today. She’s only a four-ear-old and she can probably get away with murder in the family.She’s the diva.
You’re probably curious how I got a niece. Well, let me backtrack a little. Remember when I said that Danielle acted shady when it came to her phone when she was messaging someone? Turns out, that someone was my older brother, Chris, who got her knocked up the next year after secretly dating her for a year and a half.
Yeah, Danielle got pregnant with Taylor in our second year of college. When she did, she postponed her degree to have the baby and then moved out to be with Chris. She toured with him around the country as he continued his NFL career. He got transferred the Titans, then to the Giants to work with my dad and my oldest brother, who is still there, but now, he’s landed himself back in LA, playing for the team he really loves. They really do like each other, so neither of them were too worried about moving around or about raising a child. So, Danielle went back to college. Well, night college. She just completed her degree recently.
She got a lot of backlash from the media about it, calling her a gold-digger and mentioned how she had trapped my brother. All those accusations mainly came from his ex-flings who wanted what she had with him.Jealousy is such an ugly trait,I think to myself as I remember all this. My parents weren’t the happiest either, but they came around as soon as she was born. Chris also dotes over their first child a lot.
The first grandchild is spoiled rotten by my dad too. When Chris has an away game and Danielle wants to go but doesn’t want Taylor to miss school, I take her for the few nights and let her watch her dad on the TV when she stays at my place. She can be the moodiest four-year-old and the sweetest four-year-old you’ll ever meet, it depends on how she feels in the morning or about the person she’s with.
“Taylor! You’re going and that’s it. Don’t try to get out of it today! Taylor! Give me that, now! CHRIS!” she yells at her mini-Danielle, threatening her to stop whining about going to school like every other kid in the country. You make a mixture out of Chris and Danielle and you get Taylor, a smart-mouthed four-year-old that relishes in driving her parents demented. A perfect concoction of her two parents. “CHRIS!” she calls again for my brother. “Here, get her to eat her breakfast, I need to talk to Carter.” I can hear a faint “Hi” from him down the line, to which I retort back the same way, and a yell from my niece who then decides to clap her hands rapidly.
“Aunt Carter!! Hiii . . .” her cute voice makes me giggle. I greet her back as I decelerate at a stop sign. She’s a very bubbly girl this morning, but she knows how to push her mom’s buttons when she’s not getting her own way. She’s a complete daddy’s girl and Danielle knows it.
Danielle has been working hard to retain the title of being the central woman in Chris’ life since giving birth bytryingto get a ring on her finger, but my brother’s attention is always taken by his daughter. They aren’t married—or even engaged—yet, and I honestly don’t understand why it’s taking my brother so long. It’s not like he’s going to be with anyone else; nobody other than Danielle can put up with him. They are perfect for each other—too perfect, if you ask me.
“Are the terrible fours a thing? Or is it the fearful fours? Because in my house, it currently is,” Danielle mumbles sarcastically to me. She is exactly like Danielle, it’s too funny. Bold and loud, neither of them has a filter, but that’s just how my brother likes it.
