Page 194 of Steeling Her
“Yeah, you say that now.” A dark, looming voice comes from behind me. I know it’s Roger Steel coming for me, even if it’s been five years after breaking up with his daughter. I can tell it’s still a visceral topic for everyone. Last I heard was that he flew to see her and had to comfort her for a few weeks. I know he was there to pick her up emotionally due to my inconsiderate actions. I was selfish and naive, and now that I see that, I regret everything I chose that day. I should have stuck with her.
“I was naive and pressured into a decision that I regret now,” I confess the thoughts that are running through my mind. I never really wanted to tell them this. I wanted to tell Carter all of this first, but I can’t get a minute alone with her. It’s hard, it’s like they all want me to tell them first before I can get to her. So, that’s what I’m doing.
I’m going to tell them what happened even if they kill me for it—even if she kills me for it.
“And what decision would that be?” Austin leans on the table beside him as he peers at me, waiting for my answer with a deep crease knitted into his brow.
“My dad didn’t want me dating anyone when I was in college. He wanted me to stop it with Maya, which I did do when I met Carter.” I straighten myself as I explain further, “When I started dating your daughter and sister, she was all I could think about. I didn’t need anything else other than her. He found out that I was dating her and noticed my game slipping. It was, but that wasn’t on her, that was on me. I was so caught up being with her that all I ever wanted to do was be around her all of the time.
“My game and focus slipped because of me, not her. But my dad was looking for someone to blame at the time, and she was his best option. I didn’t want her in his line of fire, so I took the initiative. He still blames her, but I blame myself.” I feel so disgusted with myself as I start to replay those two days that were hands down the worst days of my life to date. I tore her heart to shreds, and that was my choice—a choice that haunts me to this very day. “He didn’t want to hear it from me about how wrong he was and threatened me to end it with her. I didn’t want to, but I had to do it or else he’d have done it himself.”
I wring my hands together. “I didn’t want him telling her it was her fault; that she was a distraction, that she wanted to be with me for fame and money and that she isn’t good enough for me. If anything, it’s the other way around. It wasn’t like that at all. None of it is her fault, and I stand by that.” I look bravely into each of the Steel’s eyes for added reassurance that this is how I fell. I could never let go of my feelings for her. “I set her free because I didn’t want her to hear it from him. I didn’t want her to hear it from me either, but I knew it was better if it came from me,” I finally get to explain my side of the story. I finally get to tell them why I did what I did, even with her new boyfriend just ten feet away from us.
Ever since I arrived at the house, he’s been on that stupid phone more times than he hasn’t. It seems like he’s avoiding the family altogether, which isn’t a sign of a well-mannered man. My mother raised me on southern manners and hospitality, meaning you treat your elders with respect, no matter what. It looks like he doesn’t even want to be here. I know that it upsets her, because I can see her looking over to him for some support and he doesn’t even give her the time of day.
Rookie mistake. Youmaketime for her,I criticize him in my head.
“You still made the choice.” Rodger elevates himself threateningly. I know he’s protecting her. He has done this from the very first day she was born. “You chose to walk away from her, and now you regret it, knowing she’s moved on from you. You don’t like the fact that she’s with another . . . guy, and you want to be selfish and take her from him. I won’t let that happen.”
He’s not wrong. He read me like an open book; Including my intentions and my motives. I need her back. I need to win that heart again, because I know without her, I’m nothing.
I need her in my life.
She’s a need, not a want.
“I—” I begin but her dad is having none of it. In fact, he moves closer to me and pushes his index finger on my chest to make a point.
“Listen here, son, you walked away; not her. She bore her heart and soul into your relationship, and you fucked it up; not her. She doesn’t need that type of boy in her life, she needs a man. She doesn’t need that kind of negativity, and she most certainly doesn’t need someone who will let her down and break her. She needs someone who will be there for her and adore her the way she deserves to be. Her heart has been shattered, and it’s taken me years to glue those pieces back together. You broke her last time, so I won’t let you do it again. I suggest you take a step back,” he advises me, but I match him with his spiteful eye contact and stand tall.
I assure him I’m not going to back down from this without a fight. He used to scare the shit out of me, but I’ve grown up and dealt with men ten times scarier than Roger Steel. He’s just a blip on my radar now.
“Carter is all I’ve ever thought about for the past five years. Yes, it was my mistake to walk away from such a strong, caring, and beautiful woman. I accept that mistake, but I’m not giving up on her, not without a fight. I’m here to correct the petty and juvenile mistake that I made five years ago. I won’t take a step back, in fact, it only makes me want to get her back her even more. I won’t stop until I get my chance, Mr. Steel. She’s old enough to make her own decisions, and if she doesn’t want me, then I’ll accept that. But I want to hear it from her, not you or anyone else.” My words clearly sting him as his beady eyes have a fire inside of them, a fire that is lighting and ready to burn anyone who gets in his way.
I want him to know that I’m standing on my own two feet with this. I will win her back. I’m ruthless when I want to be.
“She’s taken, so step down,” he warns me but I shake my head. I refuse to accept that. I won’t step down, I won’t do that again. That was my first error.
“And I respect that. But she might not be for long.” I’ve learned how to project my opinions on to a person in a threatening and a non-threatening way. Today, it’s a mixture of both. These guys need to know that I’m not over her. I never got over her. Her father looks taken back by the words I used. I slightly contradicted myself. I will know when to step back if that’s what she wants. “I never got over her, and I don’t think I ever will,” I finish our conversation with that. Nothing more is said for a few more moments in the small circle which we created around the food table.
“Excuse me,” Roger excuses himself to go over to the girls sitting at the outdoor table. Chris and Austin follow their father and sit with the girls while I stand with Jason, who looks awakened standing next to me. His eyes are comically larger than before, now understanding the dynamic between the Steels and me.
“Jesus, seeing Steel at that level of pissed made me want to leave. If I were you, I wouldn’t go there with Carter. It seems as though it’s still a tough topic with him. I don’t know how you stood up to him like that though. Fuck, he wasn’t even speaking to me and I shit myself.” Jason stares off at the Giants coach tending to the food on the grill with his back muscles moving to keep him busy. I know he’s thinking about what I just said.
“I respect him as a man, but he needs to know that I still care for Carter. I was terrified of him at first, now I don’t see him like that. He’s protecting her, and I respect that, but I don’t think he’s protecting her from the right person,” I say what I believe as I drift my eyes towards Ted pacing back and forth in an exclusive area near the trees in the backyard. He’s making no effort right now, and it makes me sour to think that that’s the type of man she’s with.
Sure, her dad’s a scary man to many people, but to me, I don’t see him as anything else than a father who is looking out for his broken-hearted daughter. “I ruined her when we broke up. I get it, he’s scared I might do it again. I appreciate that side him. He’d take a bullet for her and the rest of his family. I fractured her heart years ago as well as my own. Maybe it’s still in that condition, and maybe I don’t deserve her, but I want to hear it from her. I want her to tell me that she’s over me and the relationship we once had.” I nod at Roger as his eyes train on me while I shift in my stance. A distant smile creeps its way on to his lips. He nods once and averts his attention back to the smoke gathering over the food he’s cooking.
“You’re a brave man, Nick.” Jason pats my shoulder once more and leaves me alone while the rest of them look like they’ve been banished from sitting at the table. Moving away from the ladies, I see my opportunity.
“Please, just give us some girl time,” Elaine begs for the three men to leave the table. They finally leave them to it but I know I should say hi to her mom. I’ve always liked Elaine, she was nice to me even when her dad had his doubts about me. I know he still does.
“Hey, so, I know you kicked the guys out, but I just wanted to come over and say a quick hello to you, Elaine.” I wander over to the girls, knowing that they probably don’t want any guys in the vicinity. It’s good to know that Chris prefers me compared to her current asshole of a boyfriend that hasn’t stopped talking on his phone ever since I got here. Actually, it’s made my day.
The awkward yet tense encounter was almost laughable between the two of us. He’s not right for her, and talking to the idiot only confirmed how much I really don’t like him and what a scared little dick he is.
Elaine meets me halfway and embraces me with one of her hugs. She gives me a quick kiss on the cheek. It was the last thing that I expected. Not that she would snub me; she’s not that kind of woman unless you really piss her off. I remember Roger’s exact words, “Piss off my wife and you’ll know all about it.” With such a kind gesture, it threw me off balance a little bit and it didn’t go unnoticed by her husband.
“Hi there, it’s been so long. How are you settling in LA?” She grins from ear to ear and converses with me. I can see that she’s not faking her delight in seeing me today. That’s more than I could say for her husband earlier on when I entered the mansion.
