Page 171 of The Perfect Spiral
We’re both laughing so hard that my cheeks start to hurt from smiling so much.
“Get back here! I’m going to bury you in the sand!” Kyle threatens, causing Andy to double over with laughter.
I run past them, managing to stay ahead of Kyle. All that running is paying off—I’m actually faster than he is right now.
I glance back to see him slowing down, standing next to Andy, who’s trying to hold herself up. Both boys are grinning widely at us.
“That all you got, fatty?” I taunt him.
“Ugh... shit.... shut up! And... who you callin’... fatty?” He pants, hands resting on his knees as he tries to catch his breath.
“I outran you, how does that make you feel?” I continue to tease him.
He smiles up at me, then at Andy. Taking her hand, he pulls her to his chest, resting his chin on her shoulder and wrapping his long arms around her waist.
“Yeah, but I win either way,” he says, kissing her neck andsmirking at me.
I pretend to vomit and walk back to the towels, waving my hand dismissively. “Whatever, you still couldn’t catch me, little bitch,” I retort, flipping him off as I walk away.
Hours later, I find myself on my surfboard in the sea, watching the sunset on the horizon. The shades of pink, burnt orange, and hazy yellow all blend into each other, reflecting off the waves.
I used to sit out in the sand with my granddad, watching the sunset and the sunrise in the early mornings. It’s my absolute favorite.
The beach is nearly deserted now, and I’m pretty sure all my family and friends have left to go into the house. It leaves me out here on the water, alone with my thoughts.
“Hey, Pop... So, I have to do this talk on Thursday morning in New York for girls in STEM. I’m terrified. What if nobody shows up? What if I say something I shouldn’t? What if they ask me something personal? What if I sound stupid?” I ask the air, hoping my granddad will somehow answer me.
Not hearing anything back, as expected, I continue to talk to him.
“Everything’s a mess now, Pop. I miss you. I miss you every day. I wish you were here watching this with me. I miss seeing your face and hearing you laugh...
Wes asked me on a date. He and Knox are supposedly fighting over a girl. And yet he asked me on a date. They won’t say who she is...
My friend Ben is here with me too, and Andy. You would’ve loved them. Ben reminds me of you. Andy is in love with Kyle, and he’s in love with her. I know! Who’d have thought Kyle could find a girl he really likes...
I broke up with Drew... I caught him cheating on me...
Ugh... I feel like crap every day, Pop. My head is not in a good place. All this media stuff is freaking me out. I feel like I’m struggling... What would you do if you were me? How would you handle all of this?...
Adam, Noah, and Eden are all grown up, big, and bold. They’re such good kids. You’d be proud of them,” I say, swallowing hard to keep the tears at bay.
I glance down the beach, seeing a group of teenagers lounging around a lifeguard chair.
“This world is different without you, Pop. I don’t have you here with me, but I hope you’re my guardian angel, even though I never believed in that stuff...
You’d be proud of Sam, she got engaged and she’s getting married in just over a month to a football player. Haha! Yeah, no shock there.
You’d like him, he’s a great guy. Absolutely adores her, you can see it in his eyes, just like when you looked at Lovey and Eric looks at Mom.
I wish I had someone to look at me like that. But I guess you can’t have everything, right?... Cain will be out of prison this month, I’m not exactly sure when. But I remember the month and year, but the release date was TBC...
Looks like I might be joining you up there sooner than you think,” I say, laughing bitterly to myself. The first tear drops onto my board when I bow my head down. It’s caught by the surrounding water and disappears.
“I have nightmares about that night every so often. Mom says I should go and see someone about it, to just talk it out and offload. But... you know how bad I am at explaining my feelings.
It makes sense up here,” I say, pointing to my head and slapping my hand back down into the water. Sniffling to stop myself from crying more, I take a long-overdue deep breath and release it.
I find myself enveloped in darkness.
