Page 211 of The Perfect Spiral
I sit on his grave to be closer to him and place my back to the cold marbled stone that is engraved with a message I can’t make out.
I take a moment to appreciate the floral tributes people have left for him. But I can’t make out the words on any of the cards because my tears blur my vision.
I remember the shock on his face when the three of us inadvertently walked in on a live porn scene. I didn’t need to see that. My heart leapt into my throat and I felt my strength drain away.
I thought I was going to faint. But my legs, seemingly with a mind of their own, propelled me towards the car. The look on his face when he saw mine. His eyes were wide, a deep shade of blue.
My heart felt like it was being ripped from my chest when I saw that look. It shouldn’t be a surprise, Alex. Every guy who likes you eventually gets bored and moves on to some other girl who’s willing to spread her legs for them.
I should’ve seen it coming. I knew it was too good to be true.
I sit on my grandfather’s grave in silence, letting the darknessenvelop me as my mind races. What’s wrong with me? Why do they stop liking me? What did I do?
I sit there, my sobs growing louder over time, pulling my knees up to my chin and rocking myself back and forth. My phone keeps buzzing in my hand, but I can’t bring myself to look at it.
Hours later, it’s pitch black and I realize I’ve been locked in. Checking my phone, I see the numerous missed calls and messages from everyone. The time reads 3:26 a.m.
I’ve been here for over eight hours.
I didn’t even notice the sun setting. I’ve been crying for that long. It stopped ten minutes ago and now all I feel is numbness. Technically, it’s not a feeling at all. But I feel nothing.
I’ve been rocking myself back and forth, my back hitting the headstone. Why am I crying over him? Why does everything that involves him go from zero to one hundred? Get it together. He didn’t like you, he just used you. Get over it. Move on. Focus on yourself.
He’s been nothing but a piece of shit to me my whole life. The act was very convincing in New York. Bravo, Knox and Lauren, you both deserve each other. You had me fooled for a second.
Maybe you should go back to Cali and see Ben?
But now, I don’t want to see their smug faces. I swear, if Lauren makes a comment towards me, I’ll punch her face through the wall.
I stand up, brushing the grass off my jeans, and start looking for a way out of the cemetery. This place is starting to creep me out.
I find a gap in the bars surrounding the cemetery and manage to slip through, sucking in my stomach. I pat my pocket to check for my phone and keys.
Feeling both items, I hop into my car and drive back to the house. Glancing at my reflection in the mirror, I see my swollencheeks and puffy eyes.
My hair is a mess and my nose is red from rubbing it. I can faintly make out the love bite he gave me that night, which I had successfully covered.
I regret it. All of it.
Chapter 73
Half an hour later, I’m about to turn into the driveway when I see all the parking spaces taken up by cars. I’ll have to park on the curb.
I sit in the car for another ten minutes, noting that it’s nearing four in the morning. Hopefully, they’ll all be asleep. I just want to shower and go to sleep. It’s been a long day—or rather, night.
I push open the car door and make my way up the pathway to the front door. I rest my head against it, taking a deep breath as I feel the dread coursing through my veins.
Seeing his face again. The only thing I don’t want to see, his eyes. My weakness.
The very ones I’ve come to hate.
“Come on, you can do this. He used you, don’t give him the satisfaction of seeing you like this. Come on,” I give myself a quick pep talk before I enter the hallway and see Boomer running towards me.
His paws lightly scrape the floors and I pick him up into my arms. His face nestles into my shoulder and I rest my head on his. He knows when I’m upset. He’s always known.
I walk down the hallway and push the kitchen door open. I see everyone dozing off around the kitchen. Seeing Kyle to the left boiling the kettle, he rushes over and lifts me into his arms.
Max joins in and hugs both of us, “Don’t run away like that ever again, Alex, or I’ll have to put a tracker on your phone,” Max jokes, but I don’t laugh.
