Page 260 of The Perfect Spiral
Knox’s laugh is bitter, a stark contrast to Wes’s silence. I’m lost in their unspoken words.
“Zara had trouble walking the other night,” Knox says, a smirk playing on his lips. I don’t like the direction this conversation istaking.
“Why? What happened?” I press, torn between wanting to know and fearing the answer.
“Nothing—” Wes starts, but Knox cuts him off, his tone smug.
“He fucked her so hard she couldn’t walk. Isn’t that right, Wes?” My eyebrows shoot up in surprise, my jaw dropping. I look between the two of them, my gaze lost in the distance.
“That’s not true, Alex. I was drunk. I don’t remember anything,” Wes says, his voice strained. I feel like an intruder in this conversation, but I’m rooted to the spot, unable to escape.
“Great excuse,” Knox retorts, crossing his arms as if he’s heard it all before.
“And what’s your excuse for getting back with Lauren? Did she drug you? No, you willingly took her back as your girlfriend! At least I can honestly say I don’t remember the fucking night, Knox,” Wes retorts, his voice rising in frustration.
“Fuck off, Wes! It’s none of your damn business. She’s not my fucking girlfriend!” Knox’s voice matches Wes’s in intensity, their heated exchange making the hallway feel like a furnace.
“Is that what you keep telling yourself? Or is that what you tell her to keep her hanging on?” Wes points at me, dragging me into their argument. I don’t want any part of this.
“Shut up, Avery! I’m not stringing her along—” “You are,” I interrupt Knox. Silence descends upon us. I realize they’re both looking at me.
“Baby doll, I’m not stringing you along. I just... I just need some time. To figure things out,” he says, his voice soft as he takes my hand. Wes turns away in frustration, running his hands through his hair.
“Don’t bother. Don’t come near me. Either of you. You’ve caused enough trouble with your fighting. I hope these pathetic fights aren’t because of me, because I won’t be the reason your friendship falls apart. I’m staying away from both of you. Leave me alone.”
I retreat inside, where Hannah and Ben are at the bar. I order five shots of whiskey and down them all at once, then order a Long Island iced tea and take a generous sip.
“Easy there, sweet cheeks. I don’t want to have to carry you to bed,” Ben teases, but I’ve had enough of everyone treating me like I’m fragile.
“Fuck off,” I snap, storming off with my drink in hand. I make my way outside, seeking solitude, but it doesn’t last long. I hear footsteps behind me and try to hide, pressing my back against the cold, gray wall and closing my eyes.
“Alex! Alex! Al—” Ben’s voice grows closer. He’s found me. I try to run again, but he grabs my wrist and pulls me back.
“Alex, talk to me. What’s wrong? Stop running away. I’m faster and won’t hesitate to tackle you, even in that dress,” he says, his playful tone coaxing a smile from me despite the situation.
“There’s that smile I love! Now, talk to me, sweet cheeks,” he says, his voice soothing.
“I told Wes and Knox to leave me alone because they keep messing with my head. Both of them. Did you know Wes slept with Zara the other night? And Knox wants me to give him time... Ben, I’m so confused. I didn’t expect Wes to wait for me, but it still hurts. And what Knox did... going out with me, sleeping with me, then getting back with her... Ben, what did I do wrong? Why doesn’t anyone want to be with me? Is theresomething wrong with me?” I ask him, my voice filled with confusion and hurt.
Between Drew, Knox, and Wes, I just don’t know anymore. My mind is racing, and Ben, sensing my distress, pulls me into a comforting hug.
“Listen, Alex, I know they’re messing with your head. But they both really like you. I didn’t know about Wes and Zara, but it sounds like they don’t want people to know. Come on, let’s go up to the balcony and have a few drinks together.”
“Why can’t we do that inside?” I ask as he leads me up the back steps. “Because I want to tell you how perfect you are, sweet cheeks. In private.” We settle onto the outdoor sofas, sipping our drinks in the warm night air.
“I’m not perfect, Ben. If I was, I’d be able to keep a guy around. I’m not committing to anyone because I’m scared I’ll get cheated on again. I’m finding it hard to trust people.”
He leans forward, resting on his elbows, and nods. We sit in silence, watching the navy blue sky, the stars twinkling above us. The soft yellow glow of the surrounding lights allows me to soak in the quiet, the only sound being the distant chirping of crickets.
“When I was in college, I attended a football team party at one of the frat houses. The girl I’d been dating for a year vanished for a while.
“I searched for her, checking all the restrooms, the party rooms, even outside, but she was nowhere to be found. I called herrepeatedly as I continued my search, eventually finding myself upstairs.
“I heard moans coming from one of the rooms. I recognized them. They were hers.
“I opened the door to find her naked in bed with another guy...” He takes a long swig of his beer, as if trying to wash away the bitter memory.
“God, Ben, I’m so sorry...” I cover my mouth, looking at him with empathetic eyes. I know what it feels like to witness such betrayal. To be wounded by it.
