Page 93 of The Perfect Spiral
I leaned over to press a kiss to his forehead, then turned back to face Knox and Wes. Their eyes pleaded with me, but all I could think about was the drama they’d stirred up in my life, especially Knox.
“Get out, both of you,” I said, my voice quiet but firm.
That’s when you know I’m really pissed. When I’m animated, you can calm me down after a while, but when I’m angry and calm on the outside, you’d better run—fast.
My emotions were a whirlwind. First shock, then guilt, then sadness, and now anger. I lay back down on my mattress, pulling Adam close. The others snuggled up to us.
That’s when I noticed Hannah was awake. She wrapped her arms around me from behind, scooting closer until we were spooning.
“I got you, girl,” she whispered in my ear. Another tear slipped down my cheek, and my mom walked over to me.
I hated being me in that moment. I just hated it.
She rested her hand on my head, her gaze soft as she looked down at me. After years of my father’s harsh words, she could read my emotions better than I could. She knew me like the back of her hand.
“I love you, Alex. I love you so much, sweetheart.” I needed to hear that. I needed to let it all out. But I didn’t want the little ones to see me cry like this.
I smiled up at her, pulling the duvet up to my chin and making sure the kids were comfortable. She kissed us all and left the room, ushering the others out.
I didn’t look at them. I didn’t want to. I was so done with their bullshit.
After we all fell back asleep and woke up to the sound of our stomachs growling, we decided to take the kids downstairs for some food.
Hannah and I were in the kitchen, preparing food for the kids while they watched TV in the living room. I offered to help, needing something to keep my mind occupied. Wes and Knox were sitting in the kitchen.
I could feel their eyes on me, their gazes burning into my skin. I didn’t look at them once. I didn’t want to talk to them.
“Woah! What happened to you two?” Kyle and Andy walked into the kitchen, both dressed in sweatpants and hoodies. “I’d love to see what the other guys look like!” Kyle said, patting them hard on the back.
“They did that to each other,” I finally spoke up.
“What? Why?” Kyle asked, looking between us.
“Ask Muhammad Ali and Mike Tyson over there,” I said, pointing to them but not looking up from the chopping board. I was interrupted by the buzzing of my phone on the counter. I glanced at the caller ID and Hannah gave me a questioning look.
“Is he still calling you?”
“Who?” Kyle asked, walking over as I swiped to answer. “Drew,” Hannah said, just as I said, “Hello?” I saw Kyle tense out of the corner of my eye and walked out of the kitchen, heading downstairs to the swimming pool and hot tub.
“Hey babe, it’s me,” Drew’s voice was soft and calm, almost soothing.
“I was wondering if I could talk to you?... I miss you, babe. I miss you a lot. I’m sorry about what I did to you. I know I hurt you, Alex. I hurt you real bad. I can’t stop thinking about you.”
“Drew, you chose to cheat on me. I’m sure it wasn’t the first time. You just miss me because you’re alone now. You’re lonely. You’ll find someone you won’t cheat on. I’m just not that girl.”
“I don’t want just anyone, Alex. I want you back. Please, take me back. I’m begging you, baby! I love you so much. You were it for me. I... I just freaked out a little... I freaked out because of how strong my feelings were for you. I’ve never felt this way about a girl before.”
“Drew, you should’ve just ended it with me. Your feelings weren’t strong enough if you went and fucked another girl in your bed—the bed we shared, the bed we... That hurt, Drew.”
“Alex, we didn’t have sex. I made love to you in my bed. There’s a big difference. I freaked out, that’s all. I won’t do it again, baby! I promise. Please, I love you too much to let you go.” I sighed, alone in the indoor swimming pool. I walked over to the edge and dipped my feet in the water.
“I... I thought I did love you, Drew. But—”
“Give me another chance, baby. I love you too much... I miss your smile. The way you laughed with those cute lines around your eyes. And those eyes, God, your beautiful crystal blue eyes that I still dream about and love to stare into... When you pushed your glasses up on your nose so you could see out of them...”
The way you’d bite your lip when you were deep in thought... I miss the way you’d look up at me when we embraced. The way you’d kiss me, the way you’d wrap your arms around me from behind.
When you cooked for me, you’d bite your tongue in concentration, measuring everything to perfection... Even in tears, you were the most beautiful girl in the world.
