Page 213 of The Perfect Spiral
please don’t shut me out, you weren’t meant to see that.
Knox
I hate when you’re upset with me Alex. Please talk to me.
Knox
I feel like an asshole, please come back, hit me, punch me, slap me, scream at me whatever just please come back and do something.
Knox
tell me where you are! Alex please answer me. You’re driving me crazy with the silent treatment.
Knox
you won’t understand I’m doing this to protect you.
There are plenty more messages where he’s begging me to forgive him. But not in a million years will I forgive him.
My head is pounding from all the crying I’ve done, and I feel dehydrated. Thank God I have a water bottle beside my bed. I twist the cap off and chug it down, hoping to soothe my throat and ease my headache.
I sit up, resting my head against the headboard, and my heart jumps when I hear a soft tap on my door. It’s a light thump, like someone’s head hitting the door.
I ignore it and slide down into my sheets. But the knocking continues until I hear Sam’s voice outside.
“You’re a fucking asshole, Knox! I can’t believe you did that to her. To do that to my sister and then get back with that bitch!” she hisses, thinking I’m asleep.
But I’m awake, listening to them through the thin piece of wood separating us.
“I know, Sam! Do you think I don’t know that? Fuck! Can you get her to talk to me?”
“What? No! You fucked this up for yourself. You don’t even deserve her attention—”
“Sam, please, I’m begging you!”
“No, Knox! Do her a favor and leave her alone!”
“Please.” I hear her footsteps recede down the hall. I silently thank her for standing up for me and send her a text.
Sam
anytime, I love you xx
I roll over to plug my phone into the charger and hear it buzz on my dresser. Rolling back into a comfortable position, I hear it buzz again, thinking it’s Sam. But it’s not. It’s him.
He sent me a heart. He might have a whole heart, but mine is crushed into dust and swept up by the wind. I shouldn’t feel like this. It’s not like we were serious or in a relationship.
But I can’t help but feel like trash after seeing them together. Watching him thrust into her bare body over and over again until he noticed us standing there.
He got caught. That’s why he’s outside my door. If I hadn’t opened that door or come home at that time, would he be feeling as guilty or as sorry as he is now?
No. No, he wouldn’t give a shit. He wouldn’t have told me.
He would’ve kept doing it until I eventually found out, or Lauren would’ve gloated that they were back together. At least I was prepared to be crushed when she opened her mouth in the kitchen.
For once, that mouth wasn’t on his dick.
I feel like a hole has been ripped through my body where my heart once existed. First Drew, and now this.
