Page 1 of All I Want Is Love
one
*LEO*
The door creaks slightly. It’s an old door, sturdy, with intricate carvings. It has Aspen’s handwriting all over it. I wonder if he made it himself or had it designed. He always had a talent for wood carving and handiwork in general.
I follow Aspen through the door, one glance at the apartment showing me how cozy the place truly is. Despite being a two-storied apartment, there is not a ton of space, not like the apartment I had in the city, not as spacious and fancy; instead, it’s warm with a personal touch that screams Aspen. It’s tasteful and comforting.
“It’s all yours,” he says, smiling at me. “I checked everything before you arrived. The last guy who rented it was barely at home and constantly travelled for work. So, it’s in mint condition. I replaced some of the furniture with more personalpieces.” He looks proud as he says it, underlining the fact that he probably did a lot of the furnishing himself.
“Aspen,” I say, my voice hoarse to my own ears. I haven’t talked a lot the last couple of months. “I… I can pay rent. I can contribute something. My bank account isn’t frozen anymore since I was cleared from…” My voice trails off, and just like that, it seems my throat is constricting, making it impossible for me to talk any longer.
“No such thing,” he intervenes. “I didn’t want to rent out this place anyway. Too much of a hassle, and I hate being a landlord. This apartment is my backup plan for when I am old, so you are doing me a favor by staying here and keeping it clean.”
“But—"
“Leo,” he says sternly. “I am not taking money from my little brother.”
I feel the old lump in my throat again, the one that makes it difficult to breathe, my eyes burning. I have spent months feeling numb, ever since one disaster after another came raining down on me, my whole life crumbling in front of me. I was falling, and no one was there to catch me, except for Aspen.
We didn’t even have a lot of contact recently. I was too busy with work and with life in the big city, and he felt like a second thought to me. I didn’t reach out for help at first for that reason, but he came by himself.
Aspen reaches out a hand, cupping the back of my head and pulling me against his chest. “Stop it. You are my lil bro, and I am just happy to have you here.”
“I can at least help out in the coffee shop.”
“What did your doctor say?”
I swallow thickly, noticing how easy it is to look through me, or maybe he is just really good at it. My hands are shaking when I am even under the slightest stress. And even thinking about going back to graphic design makes me spiral into a panicattack. I used to love to draw; now, I can’t even hold a pencil in my hands without an anxiety attack. “He said to take it slow,” I admit.
“And that’s what we are going to do. You focus on getting better first,” he says. “And then we can slowly figure out what you want to do going forward.” He gazes around, his eyes falling on my suitcase and bag. “Is this all you brought?”
“It’s all I wanted to bring,” I admit.
“What did you do with your other stuff?”
“Donated it or got rid of it.”
“I understand,” he says softly. “Do you need help with unpacking?”
“I am sure you have work to do.”
“Perks of being the boss,” he grins. “The coffee shop is well tended to without me. I have stopped serving behind the counter anyway. Too much paperwork now that business is running.”
He looks happy when he talks about his coffee shop. It’s a beautiful place, combining coffee, sweets and books, his three favorite things as he calls them. It’s a joint coffee shop and library; he owns this place with his best friend.
Aspen always claimed he didn’t like the big city, the traffic, and too many people. He quit college and moved to this town, West Sunhaven. Mom and Dad both threw a fit, upset that he was throwing his degree away for a stupid dream. They have barely talked to him for years, and instead, focused on me, putting all their hope on me.
I wanted to deliver, I wanted to make them proud. I really did.
But I failed miserably.
“I am not sure what you are thinking about,” Aspen says, startling me. I developed a habit of spacing out – something I really need to work on if I want to get better. “Wherever you are in your thoughts, don’t go there.” He gestures towards my bags. “So, baby bro, want me to help?”
“Do you mind if I unpack alone?” I ask quietly.
“Not at all,” he reassures me. “Settle in. How about we meet in two hours in the coffee shop? I will show you around then.”
I nod. Before Aspen can turn to leave me alone, I clear my throat. “Aspen?”
