Page 31 of All I Want Is Love
“And you?” Robin asks.
“I never came out,” I admit. “I was outed.”
“No way!” Robin frowns. “What the fuck!”
“Yeah,” I mutter. “It was a mess.”
“No one should ever out anyone else,” he spits. “Who was it? Who do I need to kill!?”
I smile at his reaction. Something about it is so cathartic. When I was outed a while ago, I was already so numb I couldn’t feel anything aside from deep desperation. It was the last step of my downfall, and at that point, it didn’t matter anymore. Itwas the last safety net that got removed; the others were already ripped away. “A co-worker,” I say quietly.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Robin asks carefully.
“I don’t think I am ready to do it,” I admit. “And if… I should tell…”Soren first, I want to say, but stop myself before I can do it.
Robin nods his understanding. He probably believes I am talking about Aspen, which is also true. I should tell him everything in detail, though he already knows almost everything. But I guess it’s different when I tell him in person.
Barkley must have sensed my distress, because he licks over my hand.
I grab his head and snuggle my nose into his fur. “I am okay.”
I realize in a way that’s true. I felt the usual signs of stress, and my mind was about to go to a dark place again, but it didn’t trigger a panic attack.
“You are,” Robin says. “And if there are times when you aren’t, we will be here for you.”
“Thank you. I don’t know how you can be so accepting of me. I know I am Aspen’s brother, but still… It means a lot to me.”
Robin shrugs. “I like Aspen, and I like you. I feel like I click differently with you than with Soren and Aspen. I love them; they are my besties, but some things are easier to talk to you about. Weird, huh?”
“Not at all,” I say. “It’s the first time I actually have a friend. A real one, you know?”
He nods. “We are all happy to have you around,” he says. “Seriously. Aspen, obviously, so. As for me, I am glad to be able to click with somebody on a different level. And Soren clearly likes you a lot.” He makes a pause here, making my heart beat faster. Did he notice anything? Soren and I decided only yesterday we’d like to date, but we didn’t talk about Aspen and Robin and if we should tell them.
I completely forgot to talk with him about it.
Damn it, do I have time to message him?
No, Soren even skipped today’s morning walk because he had an emergency surgery on a cat. He and his assistant had to travel to another town for it, to the vet clinic there.
It means I’ll have to wing it when we meet each other later today, because Robin decided he wants to lure us all out to a party, and I am not sure if I will be able to talk to Soren beforehand.
Thinking about the party brings me to another problem. “Say, what am I supposed to wear tonight?”
“Whatever you want,” Robin answers promptly.
“I doubt that’s true,” I mutter.
“What do you usually wear for parties?”
“Well, before coming here, I usually went to business parties or fancy cocktail bars. Dress code was mostly a suit.”
“Okay, I see the problem now,” Robin tilts his head. “Do you have a pair of ripped jeans?”
“Yes, a black one, from college. I bought it in a spout of rebellion, but never wore it.”
“Awesome,” Robin grins. “Time to wear it now. Do you have a mesh top?”
I blink. “No.”
