Page 41 of All I Want Is Love
“And on Saturday we are going on the hike,” I add.
“Yeah, sure,” Aspen says. “You two just continue with your plans and pretend I am not here right now.” He sounds like he is complaining, but through the rear window, I can see his amusement. I make sure to hug him from behind.
“I will be all yours tomorrow afternoon,” I promise. “I can help in the coffee shop. I have a few ideas.”
“You have?” Aspen asks, surprised.
“Have you ever thought about rearranging some of the furniture?” I ask. “And repaint the walls?”
“No, I haven’t, but now that you mention it, I just might,” he says.
“You don’t need to do anything,” I hurry to reassure him. I don’t want to overstep and insult him by inserting myself too much. “It’s probably stupid.”
“It’s not,” Aspen says with insistence. “Bring your drafts along, in case you made some. I am curious to see what you have thought about.”
I perk up at his words, feeling more confident than I have felt in a long while. Unfortunately, we have arrived at my place, and I need to leave Soren’s embrace. I make sure to kiss him goodnight and give Aspen a hug before hopping out of the car into the coldness of the night, and then hurry into my apartment.
fifteen
*LEO*
Barkley chews on the gigantic bone Soren bought for him before we picked him up from Mrs. Bell. Then the three of us went to have breakfast, before Soren drove off for work. It seems like Mrs. Bell and Barkley got along well, and she made sure to tell me she is eager to dogsit him again whenever I am staying out the night.
“You were quite popular, huh?” I ask.
Barkley grunts.
“Yeah, I get why. You are the sweetest. I bet Mrs. Bell’s grandkids were giving you cuddles for hours.”
Barkley stretches.
“Hm, Soren? Well, Soren can’t visit us this evening, and he won’t be home tomorrow morning either.” I sigh. “I miss him too. I know it’s silly.”
Barkley yawns.
“It’s not? Thank you for validating my feelings.”
With the bone in his mouth, Barkley turns onto his back, stretching his legs away. He looks cute and silly at the same time. I could cuddle him all day, and I wouldn’t get tired of him.
“Well, time to get some stuff ready for Aspen,” I say. “I have hand-drawn most of what I envisioned for his shop.” I look at Barkley. “Yeah, I know, it would be so much easier and faster to do it with my tablet and the apps I have there, but…” My voice trails off. “Maybe I should…?”
Barkley grunts and turns his head slightly to look at me.
Maybe I should give it a try. I am feeling better now, much better than a month ago, much better than two weeks ago, and even much better than just two days ago.
Maybe I am ready.
I get up, walking towards the wardrobe where I stored my bag. My notebook and tablet are still in it. Even looking at the bag now makes my heart race and cold sweat break out. But I could draw a logo with my tablet, so easily. Aspen needs a logo; it would be great for his business, and it’s something I am good at. I did it a hundred times.
No biggie.
Time to tackle it. Without further ado, I take my tablet and toss the bag with the notebook back into the corner. Taking one item alone has already taken a lot of willpower; I am not going to deal with all of it at once.
But I am fine.
I am okay.
The tablet weighs heavily in my hands as if it’s a rock, while I repeat over and over again that I am okay, that I can do this. I can barely hear or see anything else while I target the small table in the living room, almost stumbling over Barkley while doing so.
