Page 78 of All I Want Is Love
“Yes, I… I might have told him that I am not going to hold him back,” I admit. “Looking back at it now, it may have sounded like I was about to break up with him, maybe.”
It’s quiet for a while, then Robin clears his throat. “You were all over in your head. No surprise he is mad.”
“You also think he is mad?” I ask, my heart sinking. Not that I didn’t notice myself.
“He barely talked to you for the evening. He went with Aspen and then to his own place, instead of staying with you and probably didn’t answer your messages,” he says. “Of course he is mad. You had a whole fucking conversation in your mind about how he is about to leave and leave you, and find a better guy, instead of actually talking to him.”
“I kinda did, huh?” I sigh, sitting down again with Cracker on my lap.
“Listen, I get it, that handsome dude comes out of nowhere, drags Leo away to have a private conversation, and all we know is that he offered him his job back. Plus, your stupid ex fucked you over. I get why you would panic, but you are too old for that type of teenager drama. You didn’t even ask Leo what trulyhappened, just jumped to conclusions. If you want to know what he is planning on doing, you have to ask him. If you want to know what Michael truly told him, you have to ask him. If you don’t want him to think you are breaking up with him, you have to tell him.”
“You are right,” I say, sitting up a bit straighter. “You are right. I was lowkey being pathetic.”
“Scratch the lowkey,” Robin giggles. “Jeez, good to know that you are not perfect, Soren.”
“Thank you,” I say. “You are the best friend a person could have, Robin.”
Robin is quiet for a moment. “Thank you,” he says, his voice quivering slightly. “It means a lot to me that you just said that. So, what are you going to do?”
I put Cracker back with his siblings before grabbing my jacket. “I am going to visit Leo.”
“Now?” Robin asks, before sighing. “Well, he did send me a couple of messages an hour ago, when I was still asleep. It’s all silly GIFs.” He pauses. “Oh, and a cute pic of Barkley.”
“So, he is awake,” I conclude. “Wish me luck, and good night, Robin.”
“Good luck,” he yawns. “And you better invite me to coffee or cake, or rather both, soon.”
“Deal,” I say, before hanging up.
I don’t waste any more time and hurry to my boyfriend’s place. I go on foot, as it‘s not that far, anyway. With how fast I am running, it’s not going to take me more than fifteen minutes.
twenty-eight
*LEO*
Barkley is deep asleep, grunting and snoring a little. That traitor! How can he be so calm, collected and relaxed when his dad is literally going insane?
I am so annoyed.
Which is rare. Usually, I am sad after any type of conflict, and mostly, blame myself for it. Actually, I have come to the realization that I blame myself for literally everything. Anyone looks at me the wrong way? It makes me wonder what I did. Back in the office, when a co-worker didn’t greet me enthusiastically… I thought I had done something to them.
Man, I really walked through life, constantly thinking everything was about and because of me. How exhausting.
In a way, it’s refreshing that I am mad now.
Maybe I should thank Soren for that. Later, after I tell him how annoyed I am.
Like, what is he even thinking? Michael pops up for not more than five minutes, and he already thinks I am happily going to accept the job opportunity just because? He saw me having panic attacks when I was even just thinking about picking up my notepad again. I told him how happy I am here, and how free I feel.
We made plans for the next couple of months. We want to go hiking, and I want to cultivate his garden in spring.
And I made plans with Hector and Valentina too, for next year’s Christmas celebrations and the town fair.
Why the fuck would I return to a job that almost made me kill myself and to a place that holds all those bad memories?
Grabbing my phone, I am about to send another message to Robin. Poor guy, I have been spamming him ever since I got home. Hopefully, he will believe I am just drunk and had one hot, mulled wine too many. I originally wanted to spend the night at Soren’s place or invite him over to my place, but didn’t, for obvious reasons.
I still miss him.
