Page 8 of All I Want Is Love
“If it truly doesn’t bother you and if you promise you won’t go out of your way…”
So that’s what was bothering him. “I didn’t just make it up,” I reassure him. “I am going on a morning walk daily. Well, maybe not that early on Sundays, but you get the gist.”
He nods. “Thank you, Soren.”
I know Aspen already showed him around town yesterday, but I make sure to show him some additional spots that are busy in the mornings. Leo seems to enjoy the walk. He doesn’t talk a lot, but he listens intently and looks at everything I show him. Barkley’s presence really helps, too. Dogs have that therapeutic and grounding effect on a lot of people.
“Do you want to grab something from the bakery?” I ask when we walk past the small shop that sells freshly baked bread every morning.
Leo nods. “Yes, I would love to.”
In front of us, there is a mother with her two boys. One of them wears a baseball cap the other way round and is obviously in the preteen phase that he is too cool for everything and everyone, whereas the other boy tugs along behind him and copies everything he does.
I know the family. They are a funny and sweet bunch who saved a three-legged Pomeranian from getting euthanized. They also have a grumpy cat that always gives me a death glare when they take her to me for a checkup.
The mom says something to her two sons, and they dash off together. Sometimes the smaller one turns to wave at her, and she waves back.
Leo looks at the family. Something in his eyes seems to change.
“I should go home now,” he says, his hands searching for Barkley like he needs something to hold onto. He turns on his heels so fast I can barely react.
“Leo,” I call after him. “Wait!”
He doesn’t hear me, or maybe he is ignoring me; I am not sure. Part of me thinks I should mind my own business and call Aspen instead, but that look of panic in Leo’s eyes doesn’t sit right with me. I make a brief call to my assistant, asking her to take over the morning shift for me and only call me in an emergency, before I chase after Leo.
four
*SOREN*
The door to Leo’s apartment isn’t closed properly, a clear indication of how desperate he was to get home. I know the place. It’s Aspen’s cozy apartment, the one he owns as a backup. It’s in the middle of the town, and every necessary place is reachable on foot. Robin and I helped him with cleaning and preparing everything for Leo, all the while listening to the usually rather reserved Aspen telling us over and over again how over the moon he is that his brother agreed to come here and to stay.
He never told us what happened to Leo, and not even Robin, despite being curious and usually asking question after question like a little kid, tried to push him to tell us.
For a moment, I contemplate giving Leo privacy, but I just can’t shake his haunted expression off. That’s why I asked myassistant to take over for me, so I can have my entire focus on Leo. “Leo?” I ask, quietly taking the stairs to the second floor.
He is sitting on the ground, his breath going ragged. Barkley is right next to him, his snout on Leo’s leg while looking at him through his big, kind puppy eyes.
“I am sorry,” Leo gapes, still trying to catch his breath.
I don’t ask him what happened. If anything, that can wait until later. Instead, I make sure to kneel next to him.
“I am sorry,” he rasps out again. He moves his hand to his sweaty forehead, swaying dangerously although he is sitting.
“Don’t apologize,” I say, trying to keep my voice low and even, and not like I am panicking myself. His breath keeps hitching, and he is gasping for air. I don’t have a lot of experience with panic attacks myself, but Aspen used to get them when he first arrived in this town.
He has taught me some strategies.
I put my hand on Leo’s back. “Let’s do this together. Can you hear me?”
He nods.
“Okay, breathe in slowly through your nose while I count.” When I hear him suck in air through his nose, I loudly count to four. “Hold your breath.” I count to seven. “Now breathe out while I count.” I count to eight while he follows my guidance.
We repeat the exercise a couple of times until I can feel his stance relaxing. He doesn’t gasp for air anymore, and his breathing is more even. Just to make sure he is out of it for real, I repeat the exercise a couple of more times.
Eventually, Leo calms down fully, brushing with his hands through his hair in exasperation. “Thank you, Soren, but now you probably think I am a lunatic.”
“Not at all,” I reassure him. I wonder if I should mention Aspen’s panic attacks, but then I am not sure if the brothers ever talked about it, and I wouldn’t want to break Aspen’s trust.I decide to shift the topic to get his thoughts off what just happened. “Do you want to have breakfast together?”
