Page 42 of All I Want Is Love
I am fine.
Nothing is wrong.
I attach the tablet to a charger and switch it on.
I am fine.
The graphic pen I used to draw with is still in mint condition, actually, all of it is. It was a brand-new purchase, before—
I feel my chest tightening the moment my thoughts go back to what happened not so long ago, and how my life was suddenly in shambles. Cold sweat breaks out, my hands shivering so much that I almost drop the tablet. It’s just a logo. I want to draw a logo for my brother, for Aspen and for his coffee shop. It’s for a person I feel comfortable with, and for a place I love to be at. My positive feelings should outweigh everything else. Why don’t they? Why am I still like this?
The cold hand grips my heart again, the pressure on my chest so strong it makes it difficult to breathe. I drop the tablet and clutch my chest.
Breathe… breathe… fucking breathe…
I know how to do that. I have practiced this.
I know—
I always knew he was trouble.
He pretended to be nice, then this…
You are not my son anymore.
I grab my phone and dial the first number that comes up. There are only a very few people saved there anyway, so I should be safe with whoever I just called. For a while, there is nothing. Then a voice, calm at first, before it calls my name with more insistence.
Then there is silence.
Something wet tickles my nose, startling me awake.
“Stop drooling on him, Barkley,” someone says.
“Fuck!” I groan. “My head.”
“Slowly, take deep breaths, don’t move too fast.”
I blink my eyes open, noticing my brother. “Aspen?”
“Yes, it’s me.” He steadies me with his arm and helps me into a sitting position. Looking around, I notice that I am lying on my sofa.
“What…”
“Something to drink first,” Aspen says, hurrying through the apartment to fetch some orange juice for me. He is back with a glass full of it and forces me to drink it, sip by sip.
The room stops spinning around me. My head still aches, but the pain is duller than before. “I am okay,” I mutter.
“Thank God,” Aspen sighs, dropping down next to me and pulling me into his arms. My face squishes into his chest, knocking the air out of me again.
I pat his arm, and he loosens his grip. “You are too strong,” I complain.
“Sorry, just had the shock of a lifetime,” Aspen says. “It almost felt like…” His voice trails off.
“When I was still in the city and you came looking for me,” I finish for him. “I am sorry. I know you must have been terrified.”
“I don’t want you to apologize,” he says. “I shouldn’t have mentioned it.”
“You saved my life back then,” I say quietly. “I know, you know, and I know that you know.”
