Page 51 of All I Want Is Love
“No,” Robin hurries to reassure me. “He was very kind. He was actually perfect. Totally my type too, and with a sweet personality. Plus, good in bed, and he didn’t even mind Francesco, although Francesco tried to poke his face.”
I furrow my brows, reaching out to take Robin’s hand. “He sounds like a good guy, but… there is a problem, isn’t there?”
Tears fill Robin’s eyes. “Why am I like this?” he blurts out. “The moment I meet a guy who could be it, something in me stops me from committing. I am just absolutely terrified then.”
“Robin,” I say quietly. “Do you want a relationship? Is this something you want? Because if you don’t, that’s fine too. You don’t need to push yourself into something.”
“I want it,” he mutters. “I hate being alone, and I want to have a loving relationship so badly. But something just stops me whenever I could have it. It’s pathetic, isn’t it?”
“Not at all,” I say. “But is there a reason for it? Were you hurt in the past or… was your parents’ relationship,” I pause, scrunching my nose. “Sorry, now I sound like a therapist.”
“No,” he says. “I am just glad I can talk to somebody about it. I… I think I never really got over my first love.” He pauses, whileI patiently wait for him to continue. “I am not sure I can talk about it yet,” he finally says.
“That’s okay,” I reassure him. “But if you are ready to talk, you can always reach out to me. And as for the guy interested in you… Obviously, you shouldn’t force yourself into something, but have you considered just going slow with him? Go on a couple of dates, get to know him, and just see if it leads somewhere?”
“I guess I could do that,” he mutters.
“Did you talk to him about this? About you needing a bit more time?”
His cheeks flush. “Not really,” he admits. “I have been ghosting him since yesterday.”
I narrow my eyes. “Robin, he can’t read your mind. Here—" I grab his phone and hand it to him. “We can think about how to write to him.”
“I should just text him about my issue?” he blinks.
“You can text him and say, things are progressing too fast for you, and that you need to tone it down a little, and get to know him better,” I say. “Wouldn’t that be better than just ghosting him?”
“What if he thinks I am stupid?”
“That’s his problem then, but at least you give him a chance to act. Maybe he will want to get to know you, too? You don’t even know what he wants, and he certainly can’t read your mind either.”
“Okay.” Robin grabs his phone, looking at me through hopeful eyes. “So, what am I going to text him now? Help!”
When did I turn into somebody giving relationship advice? Soren is literally my first steady relationship, but I guess this is one area of my life that I don’t feel incredibly insecure about. I had no issues committing to Soren once I got a hold of my self-doubt.
While I help Robin come up with a message, I can’t help but think about what he just told me. He had a first love he can’t get over. I guess he was hurt and couldn’t let go. Something is still holding him back from committing to anybody else.
Once done with his message, Robin looks a bit lighter. For the remainder of the evening, he slowly returns to his cheerful self.
nineteen
*LEO*
Soren picks me up at 5 a.m. the next morning, way too early for me on a normal day, but even more so after I hung out with Robin half the night. “Oh, babe,” Soren chuckles. “I should have picked you up later. You still look half asleep.”
He wraps an arm around me while I lean against his chest. He is wearing a warm, fluffy sweater, which makes me even drowsier.
“We can start later,” he says. “I am sorry, I should have thought about that in advance.”
“No, I am an adult and should be able to keep an eye on my schedule. Plus, I want to do this hike properly,” I yawn. “Just give me a moment to wake up.”
“Here.” He hands me a gigantic cup of coffee. “I fetched it on the way. I had a feeling you would be sleepy.”
The scent from the coffee and Soren’s chest mixing together makes me a bit dizzy. I wish I could just hug him like an octopus and cling to him and soak up his scent completely, but something tells me we wouldn’t get anything done then. Soren has been looking forward to this, so have I. I don’t want to ruin this experience.
Barkley jumps around me, his tail moving so much that his whole body shakes. This successfully wakes me up from my drowsiness. “I am ready.”
When Soren looks at me with raised eyebrows, I try to give him the cutest look I am capable of. “Almost,” I add.
