“No.” The word came out harsher than I’d intended. “You’re not well enough.”
Disappointment crossed her features, and the sight wrecked me. She sighed, then fixed me with that stubborn glare I’d never been able to resist.
“I’ve given you time to work through your feelings, Rook, but this has carried on long enough. We need to talk.Now.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Bullshit. I know you heard everything I said while I was kidnapped.” Asha’s voice shook, but she forced the words out. “I told you I love you. Are you even going to acknowledge that?”
I acted like her question didn’t punch through me, but not a day passed that I didn’t think of her hurt, terrified, and alone, whispering that she loved me.
My throat tried to close over. “You didn’t mean it. You were scared. Confused.”
She lifted her chin. “Do I seem confused now?”
I shook my head.
“Then let me say this clearly in case firing weapons all these years has made you hard of hearing. I’m in love with you, Rook.”
The silence stretched. I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think past the irony of hearing Asha saying the words I’d longed for but desperately wishing she’d take them back.
Asha stepped toward me. I retreated just as fast, and she froze. The anguish on her face almost cut me down, but I couldn’t let her touch me. If she did, any control I had would shatter.
Her lips formed a grim line. “You wanted me to fall for you from the very start. And you got what you wanted, Rook. Everything you wished for. So why won’t you take it?”
“Because I never thought you’d want to stay with me,” I roared, the sound tearing from me. “That was never part of the plan. You were supposed to hate me. You were supposed to find the Soul Collector and then leave me, even though I knew letting you go would feel like a knife through my fucking heart.” My chest heaved with the force of my confession. “And because I never wanted this.” I flung my arms wide, gesturing at the hospital bed and her broken body. “You almost died, Asha. They stole you, sliced you up, and shot you. For Christ’s sake, there’s a bullet fragment still inside your kidney.” I scraped my hands down my face, choking on the memory.
She held my stare without backing down for a second. “The Soul Collector is dead. The threat is over.”
“Is it? Soon, another rival will be out for blood. And another.” My voice faltered, wild with fear. “Even if I stepped away from the Beasts tomorrow—and I would do that for you in a heartbeat—my enemies could fill an entire fucking prison. You’ll never be safe.”
61
ASHA
My pulse thudded in my ears, but I refused to give in now. Rook thought he could protect me by pushing me away? He didn’t know me at all if he believed I’d stand by and let that happen.
“We’re married, Rook. That’s supposed to mean something.”
Maybe our marriage had started as a lie, but it didn’t feel like one anymore. I didn’t care that things were messy, didn’t care that we were moving fast. Call me reckless, but I wanted it all to be real, because I couldn’t imagine being with anyone other than the man looking at me right now as if I were the center of his universe.
I steeled myself. “Where’s my ring? I want it back.”
“No.”
“It’s mine. Give me the damn ring before I smash something.”
Rook’s jaw clenched. “You weren’t even awake for the ceremony. You know it’s not real. The ring doesn’t change anything.”
He didnotjust say that.
“Are you kidding me? After everything we’ve been through, now you’re going to downplay the significance of that ring?” I advanced on him slowly. This time, he didn’t run. “I might not have been a willing participant, but the wedding was real to you. I saw the recording. You said the words, Rook. You swore a vow ofTilldeath do us part, and you meant it.”
“I meant my death. Not yours.” His face twisted, and his voice was ragged. “I’ve spent most of my life grieving people I love. None of those losses would compare to losing you.”
His words splintered me, leaving me raw. But instead of swaying me from my path, they lit a blaze in my chest.
“None of us can be certain what our future holds or how long we’ll get to spend with the people we care about. But we can choose to love them fiercely and make every moment count. That’s not just important, Rook. It’s the only thing that matters.”