Page 58 of Bullied Forced Omega
“In the past I was… I was a terrible person to you. I was terrible in general.”
My jaw clenches, and my skin heats with anxiety. This is harder than I expected it to be. She sets her burger down and gives me her full attention.
I start again, “My own childhood was a bit of a unique situation. I didn’t have the kind of guidance most kids have. No one taught me how to be patient. My father wanted an Alpha, nota son. And from the moment I opened my eyes, that is what he pushed me to be. Hard, brutal, powerful…” I sigh.
Mira’s expression is soft, patient, and gentle.
“I said horrible things to you. I was ignorant and cruel. I don’t know if I understood the impact my words had back then, but it’s no excuse. I knew I wasn’t being a good person. I guess I was also taking out my own frustration that I felt toward my father. I was taking it out on other people and…”
My voice goes tight. I’ve never spoken about this so openly. I’ve never been so brutally honest with myself about the cruelty I inflicted.
She touches my hand, her fingers running softly over my skin. “Jace, it’s ok, I’m here, I’m listening. Let it out.”
I swallow hard and smile tightly.
“I lost my mother before I was old enough to know her. My father never spoke about her. I think he was in so much pain losing his mate that he didn’t know how to deal with his own emotions, and whatever I was going through, not having a mother. I was hurting, but he taught me not to speak about hurt. So instead of speaking, I took it out on others.”
She nods, her eyes still flooded with warmth.
“What changed, Jace? Because you’re different now. I can see it.”
“Black Ops didn’t only make me physically strong,” I explain. “I learned about the value of being understanding and of being aware of what other people need. They teach you about what it means to create a strong, united pack. I learned that the old ways, where the Alpha leads by creating fear in his pack, will never work if I want us to do well. My father’s ways, how he raised me, would never make me a good leader. I know he did hisbest. I know he did what he thought was right, but I have to do better.”
Mira smiles, “You’re already doing incredible things in this pack, Jace,” she says.
“Do you think so?” I ask, my brows furrowed. “I’m pushing against the norms, pissing people off.”
“I don’t think you’re annoying as many people as you think you are. In fact, maybe only the elders. The rest of the pack is excited. The Omegas are flourishing!”
He chuckles softly. “They are doing great.”
“You’ve got this, Jace. Don’t stop doing what you’re doing.”
She picks up her food again and takes a bite, her eyes sparkling at me.
I grab my burger and take a bite too. How the hell does this girl make me so happy? How is it that for the first time in years, or maybe in my entire life, I can talk to someone without filters?
After we’ve cleared the tray of empty plates away, I pull her into my arms, and she curls up against me. She still smells incredible. But it’s different now. Her scent makes me want to hold her close and keep her safe. I want to protect her and make her smile.
I fall asleep with Mira against me and my heart feeling more full than it ever has.
Chapter 17 - Mira
One of my favorite things to experience is the fresh, crisp scent and the current of electricity in the air right before a rainstorm.
Sitting on the wooden bench right outside my cottage with a steaming cup of hot chocolate in my hands, I watch the sky as it grows darker and moodier.
It’s beautiful.
And it always evokes deep emotion from me when it’s like this. That static ripples through my veins and into my thoughts. It calms me and makes me realize how small we are in comparison to the sky, yet how connected we are nonetheless.
Two nights ago, Jace spoke to me about some very personal things. I got the feeling that he hadn’t ever told anyone. That means something. The fact that he felt he could share it with me. I just haven’t worked out exactly what it means yet.
Regardless, I want to do something nice for him. It will be a way of saying thank you for how tender and caring he’s been toward me when I needed him. And it might be a way to help him heal pieces of himself from the past. Pieces he hasn’t confronted since returning home. He’s changed so much, and there is a possibility that in that change, he will find a new perspective toward his father, too.
That’s why I contacted Jeremy secretly and invited him to dinner tonight at the cottage.
Of course, I, like the moody sky, have trepidation and static rolling through my body because I’m hoping like hell I’ve done the right thing and that this doesn’t backfire.
