Page 21 of I'm sorry, Princess
And for the most part, I played along.
But it cost me.
There are moments when I feel like I’ve lost myself entirely, buried under the weight of their expectations. I don’t know who I’m supposed to be outside of the person they’ve shaped me to become.
Even though I’m prepared for this job, nerves are still gnawing at me.
My first client is supposed to be a powerful man. I imagine some old senator who got himself into trouble, the type of guy who thinks his money and influence can shield him from consequences.
I can almost hear Sienna’s voice in my head, playful and full of sass: “Why’re you nervous, girl? You’re gorgeous, and every man in trouble would spill it all if they saw your fine ass.”
The thought makes me laugh quietly to myself. Sienna has always had a way of lightening my mood, even if she doesn’t realize it. She’s the one who always pushes me tolean into my “beauty privilege” when dealing with men, whether I want to or not. According to her, it’s my secret weapon.
She’s not wrong, though.
I know I have the knowledge and skills to get inside their heads, to unravel their defenses and uncover their darkest secrets. It’s what I’ve trained for.
But why not use every asset at my disposal?
It’s not like I’m blind to how men react to me. I see the way they look, the way their eyes linger, the way their egos falter when I give them just the right amount of attention. If a little charm and confidence help me break through their walls faster, why shouldn’t I take advantage of it?
Knowledge is power, they say.
But I know better, sometimes, it’s the subtle things that tip the scales.
“Serena, we’re ready,” Ian says, his deep voice pulling me from my thoughts.
Ian has been the closest friend I’ve ever had. We’ve known each other since childhood, our fathers being close friends. He’s been a constant in my life, someone I’ve always been able to rely on.
Of course, my mom had her own ideas about our relationship. She always envisioned Ian as my future husband, and for a while, I think he was her perfect candidate.
But I could never see him that way.
Not that he isn’t attractive, far from it. Ian is gorgeous in a way that makes heads turn. His whiskey-colored eyes could make any girl melt, and at 6’2” with a gym routine he never skips, he looks like he stepped out of a Greek myth. His short beard only adds to his serious, mysterious allure.
He’s had more girlfriends than I can count, each one more stunning than the last.
As teenagers, we were always close, and I sometimes wondered if he had a soft spot for me. There were moments, quiet glances, unspoken things, but he never said anything outright, and he never crossed that line.
I think part of me shut the door on that possibility long ago. Maybe it’s because of my mom’s constant pushing, her endless hints about how we’d be perfect together. The more she forced the idea, the less I could see him as anything but a friend.
Perhaps it was just my rebellious streak, a quiet way of pushing back against her plans for me.
Whatever it was, it worked.
Ian is attractive, sure. He’s everything most women would want. But to me, he’s just Ian, a close friend.
Ian is one of the FBI’s best detectives, and it shows. At 25, he’s already built a reputation for being sharp, relentless, and impossible to outmaneuver. His father groomed him for this career from a young age, and Ian took to it like he was born for the role.
“Serena?” he says again, his tone shifting to one of confusion. His whiskey-colored eyes narrow slightly, studying me. “Are you okay? Can we go?”
I snap out of my thoughts, realizing I’ve been staring at the floor, lost in my head again.
“Yes,” I say quickly, trying to sound more confident than I feel. “I’m sorry. Let’s go. I just… got distracted.”
He doesn’t press further, but the concern lingers in his expression as I gather myself.
“I’m stressed about this meeting,” I admit as we start walking. “I don’t want to disappoint my parents, but I also don’t want to come across as the stupid rich girl who only got this job because her father is the Attorney General.”
