Page 60 of Bedding the Marquess
His world stopped.
He’d hoped. He’d dreamt of it. He’d wondered what it would be like to hear those words from her.
But he had told himself he could survive knowing Caroline cared for him, adored his friendship, desired him physically, and she would be the most amazing mother and wife. All of those things together were more than so many men could ask for.
But this? To have her declare her love for him?
It was as intoxicating as if he’d drunk an entire bottle of brandy in a single go. His veins now buzzed with it, his head swam with it, and he never wanted it to end.
He did not doubt that his cascade of emotions was playing out across his face because she took pity upon him.
“This is not a new occurrence either,” she admitted. “Years ago, my heart refused to listen to reason any longer. No matter how many times I warned it that it needed to avoid you, lest it ruin one of the few wonderful things remaining in my life, it disregarded me. I blame you, of course.” Gideon could not stifle a small chuff, but he remained otherwise silent for her to continue. “Do you remember when my horse threw a shoe as we were riding in the park?”
“What was that—three years ago now?” he asked.
Caro nodded. “You immediately dismounted to examine her and determined that she could no longer be ridden. You told me in no uncertain terms that I should take your horse and you would walk mine back to the mews at Swanleigh House. I tried to insist that I would walk with you, but you, stubborn man that you are, refused to hear me. We bickered until you finally pulled me down from the saddle, carried me to Posy, and deposited me upon his back. Thank goodness I wore my riding habit with the split skirts that day. You then attempted to shoo me on my way, but I refused…” Caro paused, her glittering eyes dancing over his face. “If you were going to walk, then we would walk beside you. The distance was greater than a mile and we spent the entire time in wonderful conversation.
“‘How could a woman know this man and not fall in love with him?’ I thought to myself. My heart fought the good fight in the face of your charm, good looks, and overwhelming thoughtfulness, but I suspected at that moment that those days of resistance were at an end. There was simply no help for it.”
Gideon was in awe of her admission. Both his chest and his throat tightened with unfamiliar emotion, and even his eyes burned from it. To know she had loved him for so long and disguised it so well… God’s wounds, it was humbling.
“I can see that I have been sorely remiss in my declarations of love, and, for that, I apologize. I shall do my best to remedy that from now until forever. I love you, Gideon Bray. I have loved you for years. I shall never stop loving you. You are selfless, kind, amusing, tenacious, and brave. You are everything I’d ever wanted in a knight in shining armor, and everything I thought I’d never deserve. And you saved me.” She brought his palm to her abdomen. “You saved us.”
Mouth agape, Gideon could only shake his head. “But you are wrong,” he murmured. She shook her head. “You are wrong, Caroline.Yousavedme. Our friendship came at a time when I did not know who I was, other than a wretched man’s heir. You called to a part of me and I could not deny the insistent pull. The hold began the very first day we met. I knew you were someone I could never walk away from. And I mean it when I say I would do it all again. All of it. I would spend evenings running roughshod through London with you; I would celebrate birthdays and pass endless hours playing cards; I would knock Callbeck’s teeth in over and over again; and I would, without question, place my life before yours whenever it was needed. Your friendship gave me joy, but your love has given me hope. I did not know what that was, and I needed you to teach me. Keep teaching me, darling, because I will forever be your pupil.”
Caroline’s tears were freely flowing by the time he finished speaking. Emotion was thick in his throat, but he managed to maintain control. He reached up and swiped at the offending streaks on Caro’s cheeks with his thumb. “Do not become overwrought,” he gently chided. “The last thing I desired was to overtax you.”
“How can you expect me to not become emotional with a statement such as that?” Both of them choked on laughter, feeling lighter than they had in what felt like forever.
“And I will spend my days wondering how I was so lucky to be the one you chose,” Gideon said, pressing his forehead to Caroline’s before brushing his lips against hers in a reverent kiss.
She kissed him back, her tongue sweeping against the seam of his mouth. He nearly groaned. How he wanted her. How hard she made him with just that small a gesture. But he had to show restraint. He held her wrists, a pained groan rumbling through his chest, as he leaned back. “If you are in no condition to be moved to Swanleigh House, then you are certainly in no state to accept all the things I desire to do to you…”
Her pupils dilated when her eyes met his. “Then we shall bide our time. Isn’t anticipation supposed to make the reward that much sweeter?”
“Nothing is sweeter than you are, that I can guarantee.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
The next fewweeks crept by with the painful slowness one only experienced during enforced monotony. Unused to the severe degree of inactivity, Caroline felt as if she were slowly losing her mind. She could only read so many books before her eyes crossed. She completed enough embroidery to provide Lady Juliette with a full collection of napkins—enough for her to host a dinner party. She did the same for Emily with pillow coverings in shades and designs that complemented her decor. She continued to tell herself that it was a wonderful break from the bustle of London life, but that exercise was wearing thin.
To his credit, Gideon spent as much time with her as he could. While his days were sometimes spent out of the townhouse meeting with his men of business and seeing to other estate matters, he returned to her bedchamber each evening. They would share a meal, recount stories from their days, play cards or read side by side, and fall asleep in one another’s arms. Though they grumbled about it, she suspected they’d both wind up missing the small bed when they were eventually allowed to move back to Swanleigh House—there was something so intimate about the forced proximity. Though they often both woke up aching and needy with arousal, it was far preferable to sleeping alone.
Though Lady Juliette and McCullom had returned to their own residence, she visited often and brought Caroline delightfully entertaining literature, as well as interesting storiesfrom her ladies’ reading society—which, she assured Caroline, she could attend just as soon as she was physically able. She’d read about the bold, outspoken Duchess of Morton, but she’d never been introduced to her. From the stories her friend told, Caroline suspected she and the duchess would get on quite well. Besides, the scandalous reading society seemed just the thing Caroline needed in her life.
The pains in her abdomen had subsided and the babe’s movements increased, all signs which McCullom and his assistant, Dr. Bianchi, considered promising. Bianchi, with his classically Italian looks, dark hair, fathomless eyes, and musical accent was eminently professional and attentive during his monitoring of Caroline’s condition. His visits were a brief respite in her day, and each time she saw him, she hoped he would tell her she would be released from her confinement. His smiles were kind and regretful each time he urged her to err on the side of caution and allow a few more days. This was not what she preferred to hear, but she told herself she’d rather suffer from boredom than cause her child any strain.
Emily and Oliver were also regular visitors. She knew Emily had shared the news of her pregnancy with her husband, but Caroline had yet to mention it to Gideon. It was not her place to reveal it, well remembering how it had felt to her when she thought the news of her own pregnancy had spread without her consent. Instead, she settled for watching Emily and Oliver together while they were blindingly thrilled with the future that lay ahead of them. It was a sight to behold. Several times, she caught an expression of tenderness on Oliver’s face that was so similar to the one she often saw on Gideon that it made her breath catch. Two men from very different backgrounds—who knew so little about tenderness and acceptance—were remarkably similar in the way they’d overcome their respectiveadversity to forge their own paths…and learn what love truly meant.
The brothers had become closer in the weeks since Caroline and Emily’s abduction, and it warmed Caroline’s heart. Often when Emily came to sit with her, Oliver would leave them to their refreshments and amiable chatter, seeking out Gideon in the parlor belowstairs. Caroline did not know for certain, but she guessed they spoke of things most men did—hobbies, horseflesh, politics, how, when, and why Oliver had become involved in an elite society of spies (yes, Gideon had finally revealed to her the secrets of his half brother’s history). Or perhaps they discussed their pasts, took turns learning from one another, and figured out what it meant to have a family who did not wish you ill or possess any ulterior motives. She liked to think it was a bit of everything.
One day, during Caroline’s third week in McCullom and Bianchi’s care, Gideon was sitting at Caroline’s bedside, reclining with negligent grace as he read his book, when Emily and Oliver arrived for their visit.
They greeted them warmly and shared the expected pleasantries about their days. Emily had spent some time working through the books at Lady Night’s, Oliver had accompanied her, and Gideon had spent much of his afternoon coordinating the sale of a small property near the Welsh border.
“And I have run out of crimson thread. Again.” Caroline’s voice was deceptively cheery as she provided her pathetic update.
“Oh, darling.” Gideon kissed the top of her head and his words were covered in a healthy coat of sympathy. “It won’t be too much longer now.”
