Page 35 of Jingle Bells in June
‘Oh.’ My heart starts beating uncomfortably fast. If I saymy old house is just a few miles from here, rented currently by the Watsonfamily, he’ll think it’s so weird I haven’t mentioned it before. So I laugh andchange the subject. ‘Well, I mean, that’s not very interesting, is it? But whatisinteresting is that I lived on the Isles of Scilly for the firsteighteen years of my life and it’s the most glorious place on earth.’
He nods and takes a swallow of his lager, before offering totop up my glass.
I shake my head, putting my hand over the glass. ‘Betternot.’
He grins. ‘Frightened you’ll give away too much under theinfluence?’
‘What? No!’ I frown at him. ‘I’ve got nothing to hide. Ijust don’t really feel like talking about myself just now. I’d much ratherlisten to you, boring me senseless.’ I force a grin. ‘Which you don’t, by theway.’
‘You really are a woman of mystery, aren’t you?’ He smileslazily at me and helps himself to more salad. ‘But we don’t need to talk aboutyou if you don’t want to.’
Feeling awkward, I give him a stiff smile. A feeling oftension has invaded our relaxed afternoon and suddenly, I’m feeling a littlenauseous. Aidan obviously thinks I’m hiding things from him, and he’d be right.
I’ve never told anyone about Rachel and Poppy and all theterrible things that happened, mainly because I’m trying to put all thatanguish and fear behind me. Part of me would like to pour it all out to Aidan.But another – bigger – part of me is desperately resisting opening up to him. I’mtrying to concentrate on the future. And I think I’m afraid that if I starttalking about everything that happened, the floodgates will open and the darkmemories that stalk the fringes of my mind, will rush in and completelyoverwhelm me.
And then I’ll never be able to move on...
‘Actually, I think I need to go.’ I stand up, clutching mystomach. ‘I’m sorry. I just feel a bit... woozy.’ I force asmile. ‘It’s probably the wine. I’m not used to drinking at lunch time.’
He gets up, looking concerned...apologetic... offering to take me home.
‘It’s fine. I’ll get a taxi.’
‘No, you won’t,’ he says firmly. ‘The lager’s low alcohol.I’m fine to drive. Come on.’
In the car, heading for Sunnybrook, I turn to Aidan. ‘Thankyou for this.’
‘No problem. Need some fresh air?’ I nod and he cracks openmy window. ‘I’m just sorry if I was badgering you to answer my questions. Whatcan I say? I like you and I want to know more about you.’
I smile. ‘You weren’t badgering me at all. I just...’I trail off with a useless shrug.
‘Didn’t feel like answering twenty questions. I understand,Kenzie. Don’t worry about it.’
I nod, knowing he means it, and feeling lovely and safe inhis care. I should have told Aidan everything. Iwilltell himeverything...
‘Feeling a bit better?’ he asks as he draws up outside myhouse and cuts the engine.
‘I am, actually,’ I tell him truthfully.
But when I get out of the car, I’m still a little wobbly onmy feet.
‘Whoah!’ I grab the car door. ‘You can’t take me anywhere. Ionly had a couple of glasses. I’m such a cheap date.’
It’s out of my mouth before I can stop it, and I look at himin horror as he walks with me to the front door. ‘I mean, not that this was adate, of course. I was just... I mean, it’s just a saying, isn’tit? I didn’t mean... well, anyway...’ Istart fumbling with the key, trying to get it into the lock.
‘So it wasn’t a date?’ Aidan asks me solemnly, when I’mfinally in the hallway.
‘No!’
‘Ouch. You don’t need to be so forceful about it. My poorego might get a little bit dented.’
I swallow, looking up into his eyes. He’s smiling butthere’s a touch of uncertainty there... a vulnerability thatI haven’t seen before.
‘I mean, I wouldn’t havemindedif it was a date,’ Imurmur, back-tracking.
‘You wouldn’t?’
I shake my head, feeling all hot and bothered by hisnearness. ‘In fact, I’d probably have had a great time.Ifit was adate.’
