Page 65 of Jingle Bells in June
‘Because if I tell you what’s wrong, you’ll know the truthabout me and you’ll hate me.’
‘What?’He actually laughs. ‘Why would you say that?I couldneverhate you.’
‘Oh, yes, you could,’ I say bitterly. ‘And believe me, you will.’
He runs ahead and faces me, grabbing my arms to stop me.‘Hey, you can tell me. Whatever it is, I won’t judge you.’
I stare up at him, my eyes burning with unshed tears.
How do I tell him the truth? That I was the driver wholeft his beloved, wonderful Auntie Peg to die, but I never told him. How will Ibear the bewilderment and hurt in his eyes... or worse, thedisgust?
I draw in a deep breath. ‘It’s about the day Peg died.’
He frowns, pulling back a little, looking confused. ‘Whatabout it?’
My heart is beating so fast, I feel sick. But I force myselfto go on. ‘The car... at the scene... theone that drove away.’
He makes a noise like a growl, deep in his throat. ‘Peoplelike that don’t deserve to share the sameairas a woman like Peg.’
I look up at him, feeling strangely calm now that I knowwhat I have to say.
‘The driver of that car was me, Aidan.’
The world seems to stop turning. There’s a strange hissingin my ears and I think I might faint. He’s smiling at me incredulously as if hethinks I’ve made some weird, inappropriate joke.
‘It’s true,’ I say miserably.
His smile slips. ‘That wasn’t you. It couldn’t be.’
‘It’s the truth, Aidan. And for what it’s worth, I reallyhate myself. You don’t know how many times I’ve wished I’d stayed to make absolutelysure she was all right... called an ambulance.’
He shakes his head. ‘That woman was called Flora. NotMackenzie.’
‘Yes. That’s my real name. Flora Mackenzie Morris. I’venever liked the name Flora, so –’ I trail off and shrug unhappily.
‘But... why didn’t you tell me?’
‘I really wanted to, but I didn’t think you’d understand.There was a reason I had to drive away that day. But I couldn’t tell youbecause I couldn’t bear you hating me.’
‘So tell me now,’ he says abruptly, folding his arms.
‘Sorry?’
‘What was your reason? I need to know your reason.’
I nod. But finding the right words is hard. My throat is sodry when I swallow. ‘Well... my friend’s boyfriend had beencontrolling and abusing her and that day I was trying to get her and herdaughter away from him. We were escaping in my car, but his mother was on ourtail and I was desperate to get away from her.’ I shrug helplessly. ‘When youraunt fell in front of the car, I wanted to call for an ambulance but her friendseemed to think Maggie – Peg – was all right. But every day since then, I’veregretted taking her at her word. I should have called the emergency servicesor driven her to the hospital myself to get her checked out.’
‘But you didn’t.’ His face is impassive.
‘No, I didn’t. And I’ll always regret it. When I saw thephoto of your Aunt Peg that night, I was devastated. I wanted to tell youeverything but I was terrified you’d hate me, so I didn’t.’ I shrug helplessly.‘I don’t deserve your friendship, Aidan. I’m so, so sorry. About everything.’
He’s just standing there, looking stunned, and I startwalking away from him. But I haven’t even reached the next side street beforehe catches up with me, taking my arm more forcefully this time.
‘Okay, I accept that you had your reasons for driving away.You thought Peg was okay and you had to save your friends. I’m assuming you’renot just making all this up?’
‘No! Of course I’m not.’
He shakes his head. ‘Kenzie, there’s no “of course” aboutit. Because the fact is you’ve already lied to me. You’ve been lying byomission every single time we had a conversation and you never told me whathappened. Especially after you found out the woman was my aunt! You should havetold me then.’
