Page 54 of Sun, Sea & Strawberry Shortcake
We both laugh.
‘No, you’re right. She looks perfectly happy. Especiallyhaving all you girls around, spoiling her like crazy.’
‘That’s what honorary aunties are for.’
‘I’m glad,’ I say softly.
‘So what are you waiting for? Get yourself out. Go andbreathe in some fresh sea air and you’ll come back with a different perspectiveon your row.’
I wish it was that simple!
But I smile and thank her, and launch into a run-down ofEmma’s routine and where everything is... until Madisongrins, lifts Emma out of her highchair, and says she’s fairly sure they’ll beable to keep my daughter alive until I get back!
So I put on shorts, T-shirt and trainers and go out into thesunshine, walking down the hill and then all the way along the promenade. It’sjust after ten, pleasantly warm with a refreshing light breeze blowing, and Istare out to sea, my head in a muddle.
I’m beginning to feel annoyed at myself for not staying totalk to Harry yesterday. The problem is, I have so many questions rattlingaround in my head, and he’s not here to answer them. I press my lips together.But whatever excuses he might have, it won’t be enough to make me feeldifferently about what’s happened.
I’d like to think I could forgive him.
But I know I can’t...
I’m reaching the end of the promenade now, where the cute,white-washed apartments of the charity, with their little balconies, have beenbuilt in the shelter of the cliffs rising up at the northern tip of the beach.A game of rounders is in full swing on the beach and I watch the kids tearingaround, having a whale of a time, and thinking what a fabulous thing to do forpeople who would otherwise struggle to give their kids a holiday like this. Ismile to myself. It restores my faith in humanity. I should take a leaf out ofthe philanthropist’s book and resolve to be kinder.
But would that include forgiving Harry?
Not the way I’m feeling right now...
There’s a café over the road with a pretty blue and whiteawning, tables and chairs arranged on the pavement, and a woman in a purplescarf is sitting at one of the tables, a coffee in front of her, looking outover the happy scene on the beach.
Emerald.
She sees me and waves, and my heart sinks. I’m not feelingvery sociable this morning. But I cross the road to talk to her, anyway.
‘You looked so pensive, walking along there, Jaz. Everythingall right?’ She shades her blue eyes to study me.’
‘Not really.’ Feeling my chin wobble a little at thekindness in her voice, I press my lips together. ‘Bad day yesterday so I’mfeeling a bit washed out.’
‘Oh, dear. Maybe a hit of caffeine would give you a boost?’Her eyes sparkle. ‘I’m on to my third of the morning.’ She indicates the chairopposite, and smiling, I sit down.
And because Emerald is so easy to talk to, I find myselfspilling out everything that happened the day before, and she listensattentively, nodding now and again, but mainly just letting me get it all out.And it feels cathartic... such a relief.
‘Sorry.’ Sitting back after my anguished monologue, I smilesheepishly. ‘I didn’t mean to go on like that.’
‘No need to apologise, my dear. You needed to get it offyour chest and I’m just very glad I was here to listen.’
‘Thank you.’ I look down, still feeling emotional. ‘I...don’t know what to do next.’
‘What does your heart tell you?’
I look up. ‘I’m not sure. I want to forgive him but I don’tthink I can. You know?’
She nods, looking sad. Talking a big breath, she breathes itout slowly and says, ‘The biggest mistake I ever made was refusing to give myhusband another chance.’
‘Your husband had an affair?’
She nods. ‘It devastated me because I never imagined in amillion years that Geoff would do something like that. We were so happytogether – or so I thought. He begged me to forgive him. He’d been stressed atwork and a female colleague who he liked a lot had suggested a drink to unwind.And they’d talked, drunk too much, and one thing led to another...’
‘That’s awful.’ I swallow hard. ‘And you couldn’t forgivehim?’
